


Be Kinder

by CandyBambi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Comfort/Angst, Drinking, Growing Up, Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4973266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyBambi/pseuds/CandyBambi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke has always been unsure of how deep Naruto felt for him, the mere suggestion that it was love was a laughable, even Naruto found questions in his affection. At a young age, they became best friends, only to separate after a near death experience. Despite Sasuke's best attempts to dismiss the past and focus on his bleak future, Naruto never forgot, and when they unknowingly meet again, it became clear that Sasuke couldn't afford his plans and Naruto, but it was difficult to decide between the two when so many before and after Naruto have disappointed him; but the blond man was persistent as time made it clear how important Sasuke had always been to him, he wasn't ready to let go until he made it clear how much Sasuke meant to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aquiver

**Aquiver**

(adj.) Quivering, trembling.

* * *

 

**Don't Go.**

* * *

Naruto never realized how perplexing his life had been. He had grown up with barely anything, almost made a best friend before losing each other, had gotten accepted by someone to have them die later, reconciled with an old friend, met his father, and had almost lost all of it to the Mafia.

If he pondered quietly on the chain reactions of each event, Naruto might have been able to prevent the avoidable torment he and others suffered as the years passed, bit quickly he'd remind himself that the hardships were an a endowment because it gave him the ability to be compassionate and forgiving to the dark history he had, but that saying he made a solemn affirmation that he would never forget his former self when no one would spare him any kindness so he wouldn't be twisted into a blood-hungry adult with distorted morals.

As a grown man he was pretty damn proud and thankful that he was lucky enough to form unbreakable bonds with everyone he had met through his life, especially the bond he had with Sasuke.

It was rare for a person to find their soul mate, but it had seemed Sasuke's and Naruto's souls were intertwined tightly together, true love one might say.

Love doesn't build up overnight, it generally needs time to slowly build up the knots to eventually create the unbreakable bond of pure love, bit even then it needs more than that. Humans are complex with every reflection of their nature, making each and every human a diverse organism.

Sasuke had been a cold, bitter man of the business world by making false friendships to quickly manipulate to his advantage compared to Naruto who couldn't hold his tongue and temper whenever he was angered due to his honest nature.

How these two had interlaced passions on each other was a miracle itself; it wasn't easy to say in the simplest terms.

Sasuke was a cold hearted ass, while Naruto was dense to all the gay pheromones Sasuke excreted.

Naturally it had taken nearly forever for both of them to finally realize through their ridiculous idiocy that they were subconsciously thirsty for the other.

In the world of adults, love is an Urban Legend.

To adults it was difficult to differentiate infatuation to burning love while children found it easier to see the difference.

Sadly, children are able to see things adults are blind to, possibly because children had never tasted evil while adolescents are constantly weary of it.

Naruto however was never that lucky, he started off as a child doused in darkness, drowning away in reality's harsh claws; the same went for Sasuke as well, which was one of the possible reasons why they both connected when they met; they saw the pain behind each other's dulled eyes.

At the same time, they hated each other because they felt like they were looking in a mirror, forced to gaze at their hideous reflection, but they also felt empathy for each other; they weren't alone in suffering and they could share and help themselves heal by their company.

For the brief moment, the wounds inside their soul was soothed with the easing laughter they shared before things had torn them away from each other, by a cruel stroke of irony, Sasuke was raised by distant, vile adults that were drunken on greed; Naruto was raised by a single father who glowed purity, love, and gentleness.

At that point, it was debatable if their meeting would really make a difference with their future.

* * *

Young Uzumaki Naruto dreamt of the big red eyes that would glare down at him from the walls. He'd walk down the hallway of painted eyes, slowly his steps accelerated to sprinting as the eyes began to bleed blood in viscous streams.

Afraid of drowning on the blood, he'd scream despite the fact that he knew no one would help him. He didn't know how to swim at the time, so when he reached the white door at the end, je'd realize that the door was a fake; that it was only a painting of one, that there was never an exit to begin with.

This wasn't the first time he had dreamt of such fearful things. They were once nightmares, but the repeated nights made the nightmares monotonous despite never losing its effectiveness. It was normal in his daily life of turbulence and dirt. But that didn't mean he was used to them, he just expected it and took it like a weak child because he didn't have much of a choice. To him, crying so long after you wake up gets old and tiresome when you're only ignored.

There was hatred, pain, and torment stirring in his sleep reflecting the outside world with his own mind as his enemy, creating shapes and monsters in the form of his inner fears.

Only his nightmares knew how to send him down an endless spiral of terror, the things he'd experienced, were hauntingly horrifying, but at the same time, almost pretty. Not all of his dreams were horrifyingly scary, some would be serene but somewhat eerie to make the whole scenario seem disturbing.

One of his psychological shocking dream was a vast, blue forest of trees, the leaves would be dipped a darker blue, dripping its concentrated color that resembled black oil. Naruto thought the trees had been bleeding because the color would drip off of the hanged dolls of the branches, oddly enough, Naruto liked this dream best.

The most haunting one out all of them was the time he imagined his mother and father's heads on the ground, their pale necks would be twisted in a wrong angle when they'd drag their body towards him. Whispering something dreadful in each breath.

Eyes a complete mess. It was a mess of goo from the squishy insides of the eyeball; as if they had been stabbed repeatedly in the eyes, the torn muscles would bleed profusely out like a crying fountain, chanting away Naruto's name as if they were attempting to place a curse on hid soul for damning them.

They'd spout out how irrelevant he was to the world, that everyone was wasting their energy to hurt him when he wasn't worth anything.

He was pointless and replaceable. He was a nuisance, just like he always believed.

He would die a pathetic death.

Or so everyone insisted, he was a child, so the only thing he could do was believe their words and soon he also wished that he'd die already to end the pain of living without anyone to spare him kindness.

When he'd awake to morning's light and birdy whistles, reality welcomed him with a rancorous slap. Overwhelming shock would sink in, then the sore burn would settle, and finally the biting ache in his chest would bleed out like a squashed insect.

He was alone.

No one to care if he fell, cried, or was upset.

No one understood why he felt so alone with no one to hang on for support, no one really tried because he wasn't worth anything.

All the other orphans believed that his own parents had abandoned him because Naruto had killed his brother–which of course was a lie since Naruto never had parents to begin with, and Naruto couldn't stand the smell of blood ever since he found a killed fox hidden under a thorn bush.

 _"Will I die like that too?"_ Naruto calmly wondered when he found the stiff body, it had been tossed aside as if it was worthless. Small, dirt-covered hands gently lifted the blood stained fox.

The hairs were so thin and fine, they looked like needles for a moment, but Naruto knew the slight brush of its pretty scarlet fur would feel like velvet.

Its small body made it known to him that it wasn't an adult fox, but it was barely a baby. It was such a waste of a promising life.

Bloodied patches on its pale stomach were from large shards of glass that had been plunged by someone, and treating it like it was a mere toy to the world.

Naruto would stroke the face of the limp face, staring at its empty body; he found his eyes blurring, as if he was drowning, only he didn't feel fear, instead the sensation of being empty burned heavier than before as if he had lost something; but he wasn't sure what he was bereaved of.

Grieving over a lost life taught Naruto that life was invaluable, that perhaps in some way he was valuable to the world, but he could only feel anguish for a slaughtered bird to make him realize this.

After mourning for the young animal, he buried it right under his favorite tree, carving a message in the bark so that the kit would be remembered for its death.

To any adult, it might have seemed like senseless idiocy, but it was meaningful to Naruto, and that's all that mattered to him.

Hope had diminished for as long as he could have remembered until that point; something inside of him kept his spirit burning now, he would have liked to think the kit was living inside of him, subconsciously telling himself to keep moving forward, as if it knew something great would happen in his future.

His blank eyes were filled by the early poisonous exposure to cruelty, dull and gloomy. Physical abuse wasn't the biggest issue, it was the emotional and verbal abuse he received everywhere he went, but he felt an odd rush of encouragement today, something was coming.

Shunned and despised by the children and adults, had hurt him the most. The only thing he knew was the town, and in his town of cruel humans, he knew no other place he could go to.

The only thing he could hope for was adoption, for someone to take him away and show him a dream where he could smile with loved ones without a care in the world.

The tough sheets that felt like itchy cardboard, offered inappreciable warmth, so Naruto didn't have much difficulty waking up, not that he wanted to stay asleep anyway, at least in the real world he could run away from his tormentors, and set aside a time to soak the other kid's sheets with apple juice to get them spanked for peeing on them, he had a special storage of apple juice for such purposes.

Soft chatter of adult voices began to grow stronger outside his fragmented window. While the sound of new adults brought forth surges of excitement and hope in orphan children, it only brought dread, and anguish to him, reminding how little adults looked at him with consideration.

Adults would curiously look at children with compassion and shared excitement, but when eyes fell on Naruto, the disdain was far too clear to see, and they were all proud to show their disgust.

They saw corruption in Naruto, for the 'sin' he had committed, when in reality, what they were seeing was a stretched lie they latched on to.

Apparently many people had died because of the horrible felony Naruto was forced to be born to. With everyone dead except for a baby, the ones who lost loved ones could only bring themselves to place the blame on Naruto; because their heinous spirits were cowards to face the fact that no one was to blame.

To make it clear, Naruto was not in wrong, the only thing he could be held accountable for was wishing for affection, wanting to change for people to accept him. Far too desperate to realize he could do nothing to be accepted in his small town.

With compulsive energy, he threw off the scratchy sheets to jump on his feet to escape through the window to his sanctuary of isolation; in the happy sunlight with the company of plants and birds. Nature was the best warmth and ointment to his withered soul, in a way, nature was his friend when the sun rose from it's sleep.

His fingers grappled on to the edges of bark and climbed swiftly like a chipmunk to his small corner of safety, even if it was a fake sense of protection, it helped the pain. Children he passed by pointed at him like he was a joke and sticks and rocks were aimed at him, luckily he dodged them expertly.

In return, he laughed at them and stuck his middle finger at the couples that were looking for a child to adopt.

Today he was feeling lighthearted and funny, as if the growing fox inside of him was prancing in joy. He wanted to try to fight a little longer and see how he could grow and become happier, despite the knowledge of the outcome; to be ignored and hated for even existing.

But the mischievous blond refused to believe his life would continue being a pool of misery.

Same old, same new guest.

Change was the unexpected visitor.


	2. Mellifluous

 

 

**MELLIFLUOUS**

(adj.) A sound that is sweet and smooth, pleasing to hear.

* * *

I refused sleep, no matter how tight slumber wrapped itself around my body, resistance was my instinct, but it had seemed I was losing both the physical and mental battle from the morphine IV, seeping into my veins, traveling deeper and deeper into my body to numb my thoughts, everything was tipping and blurring, all of it seemed like I was in a dream.

My body wouldn't allow the sweet sensation of rest inside, the adrenaline of anger and rage stormed wildly like a feral animal, my soul too far gone to understand what happened.

A secret storm no one would ever understand despite their attempts and lies. Something about a family slaughter changes you, especially if you're a child that witnessed firsthand their own brother killing their own kin.

_"_ _Father… Mother…I…Itachi."_ My thoughts would cycle those three words.

Sharp pulses of pain would thrum through my body like a drum, especially my head.

_"_ _It hurts."_ The more the pain increased, the less I was able to differ the days and times. I felt like I was stuck in this white room of silence for a year, when in reality, it's only been a week. It was so confusing, everything in my head was jumbled up; how old was I again? Where did I sleep in my house? Where was I?

Frustration came with my confusion, only desiring to forget every detail of that day, I tried to distract myself by accepting sleep, but my thoughts rejected my attempts, it seemed as if my brain was trying to hang on to something, forcing me to try to remember.

When I tried to consume nourishment, my own body rejected it, and I'd threw up; Every time I tried to eat, it was all sand and needles going down my throat, painful, distasteful, and unappetizing.

Hunger wasn't an issue for me, it all just made my throat scratchy and small, what was the point?

Perhaps I wanted to die, to see my kind mother, even my distant father who showed kindness to me on occasions, their company was part of my soul, yet now it felt like the life of my heart had been sucked dry and torn in half. There was nothing left inside, all I am now, is an empty shell.

The smell of anesthetic burned my nostrils, made my other senses numb and weak from the intense burn that forced my screaming to remain inside of my body. Burning, something was burning. Why didn't I notice before?

I closed my eyes, the burn had stung my eyes, I found the buildup of tears was annoyingly useless and a waste.

What was right? What was wrong?

My name is… Sa… What was it again?

_"_ _Sasuke…I'm—…Ju—So—you—…Young to under—…_ _ **Forgive me."**_ A voice said, it's tone dull but clearly throbbed in pain. It was somehow soothing?

My eyes shot open. My brother's voice that day, but he had never apologized that day, he smiled and pointed a gun to my hea— A blurry flash in my head made my body freeze and spasm slightly.

A warm, wet feeling was on my cheek that day, by brother… he touched my cheek―he was crying that day, but… He wasn't…

I was…

Raining… Was it raining that day? There was a fire… but it was raining?

Bleach and feather.

Red paint.

Fear, and a plane.

Ticks of the clock on the right wall had suddenly seemed so sharp, the morphine made me too numb to remember my daydream.

My parents were murdered by Itachi.

He was… cold and murderous.

_He had a knife, he was coming towards me and he cut my jaw to scare me. He was the one who burned our home._ I reminded myself, what I had saw was real. My family slaughtered and burned into nothing but ashes with the house.

_Mother… Father…_

The long hand followed the ticks of every second, sending ripples of frost through my frail bones, creating an ache that grew worse overtime with every breath of oxygen in my lungs, the air was liquid nitrogen to my warm body, just eating away at me like parasite.

Slowly, my eyelids shut gently, surprised I didn't realize sooner my eyes were dry, memories of the fire and the dead drowned my thoughts like black ink, blinded by the intense emotions, but I couldn't get away because there were no exits, just a pathway of severe emotions.

If only I wasn't so weak, maybe I could have done something to avenge my family.

Like a casual child, I had taken the bus to get back home, saying goodbye to my friends while I stuck my tongue at them. We were so naïve and young.

At the time, everything was just a simple play that I was a marionette for, when I look back I realized everything was just a lie from the adults.

All the adults had made these illusions for children to believe, composing false security to all of us. To them they might have believed they were protecting us, but the more innocence they tried to protect, the harder the child would fall once they had a taste of reality.

It was early spring, so the weather was on the chilly side, with only the mild heat from the sunlight that hit on my skin, I was eager to get home as soon as I could since that morning, my parents had bought me a present for scoring top marks in my whole grade, Itochu had told me earlier that day it was a remote controlled plane. When I thought back to it, why was I so excited?

My legs sprinted down the sidewalk, the splotches of blood weren't of importance to me since it wasn't noticeable.

What stopped me, was when I saw the blood trails and fingerprints on pale sidewalk, reminding me of blood on snow.

Striking yet terrifying; Blood rain during a drought.

Suddenly everything had processed in my head, suddenly I was scared.

Scared and worried for my family, I followed the blood out of curiosity, and found the house in flames and brother slicing our mother's corpse in pieces, half of her cadaverous body was burnt. My scream was choked from my tightened throat, it felt like my lungs had taken hostage of my air, liquid proof of my grief spilled from my eyes, blurring my eyesight, wishing this was a bad dream; I begged for my brother Itachi to explain to me what he had done.

Despite my hopes, the moment my brother turned to me, his eyes were crazed and hysterical, his smile completing the theme of hysteria and madness, spots of messy blood was stained on his pale skin, just like blood on snow.

Unnerving.

Something told me that the blood wasn't his, the smoke watered my eyes, I swallowed a cough, afraid I would misinterpret his words if I made a single noise, move; breathing seemed too big of a risk to take.

His eyes met mine and his reply was shockingly quiet.

_"You're far too little to understand. I'm sorry Sasuke. I'm so sorry."_

Only a sadistic man would apologize for such a thing, when he never meant it, as if mocking me was the most entertaining game for him. One last attempt to hurt me more.

His apology meant nothing to me.

With an intent to avenge my family, I threw myself at him to take his life, my arms flailing uselessly at him, not thinking of what he could do to me because of our age gap, I was disadvantaged because of his tall stature and stronger arms. Grief rose higher, because I was weak, I allowed my family to die and I couldn't avenge them for their souls to rest in peace.

I was such a stupid fool.

My stature was short in comparison since I was only in the middle of elementary school, whereas he was in his senior year of high school. Weak was the definition how what I was, who I was. Whenever I would get upset or angry over something, I'd always cry.

My thin fingers were weakened by the narcotics I was hooked to, but I managed to grip my sheets with all my might, my back slightly hunched as I stared at my lap. Rivulets of my grief escaped through the corners of my eyes, temporarily staining the bleached sheets into a gloomy gray, the gray color blooming to a dreary flower pattern.

The only thing I could do was beg him to tell me why he did this. He didn't even answer me.

The narcotics soon loosed the grip I had on consciousness, taking me under its blanket of dreams and lies.

I surrendered because I had nowhere else to go. Everything was gone. An empty canvas that once promised a beautiful dreams.

* * *

No one was going to soothe his tears. His family was slaughtered to nothing but bits of ashes. His body keeled to bend closer to his legs, elbows digging into the bed beside his knees. Frail limbs trembled in the dark. Sasuke's limbs.

He had dreamt of his brother destroying the windows of their house, he awoke with painful fear in his body. Even in his dreams, his brother refused to allow him any peace even in the world of slumber.

"Itachi…Why…? Didn't you love our parents? They…They loved you and me so..." heaved words escaped through his shivering voice; anguish clear in his tone, but unheard because of his sore throat, worn out from his break down when he was found, how he had to be restrained and knocked out. His screams rendering to be a useless call for a relief for his torment. The memories of his warm family began to surface; His father's face subtly smiling, his mother earnestly smiling and laughing, his older brother whom he admired so much―helping Sasuke practice for his sport's team.

The solitude the dark room provided him was the closest thing to a sanctuary as it was a torture chamber; being left alone in the dark forced his thoughts to become his greatest enemy, hallucinations and self-blame, but also offering silent peace.

Being alone was all he had now, all he could afford to keep himself safe from any more harm.

_It's better to have nothing than anything in the real world._ Sasuke contented to himself.

This pain burned deep in his veins like lava, choking every free breath he could manage out of his lungs. Phlegm filled airways was the best way to describe the tender burn that left him heaving. It would never stop. So many things that he would have found curious and interesting were no longer of any sort of interest to him, it was as interesting as black and white.

Nothing.

Just upsetting.

The world's extraordinary, incongruous offers were bland as air. Everything was painful to feel and think. Maybe he wanted to die along with his parents, maybe it wouldn't be so painful anymore.

"Sasuke."

A soft voice called, he jerked his head to find the source of the voice. For a moment, he thought it was his mother calling his name, if it was, he would have gratefully taken an offer to join his mother and father.

It was a woman with blond hair, her bangs divided at the middle of her face. Her eyes were a strong hazel gold, her eyes were windows to her fierce spirit, but she looked downhearted, her well-shaped lips were slightly frowned; they were tinted a rose shade that reminded Sasuke of cherries. She avoided his gaze and stretched her clenched fist to unravel her fingers, revealing a pill.

"…Tsunade…" Sasuke quietly replied, voice cracked, remembering that she was his doctor that was taking care of him at the moment. Found in her hands was a chalky pill in her left, and a cup of cold water in her right when he took the time to observe.

He hesitated and opened his mouth to ask what the pills were for since he was force fed one earlier, but easily gave up on the idea; he just didn't care anymore. His finger pinched the pill, feeling the hardy pill before popping it into his mouth, taking the cup and forced it down his throat, choking a bit from the sudden cold water going down his desert dry voice. He dropped the cup on the floor. Tsunade allowed the action to pass by, Sasuke was going through shock, she was a tough lady, but she wasn't heartless. She exhaled softly and placed a hand on his darkened temple, brushing over a small cut with her thumb.

The pill scraped the tube of his throat but he only glared at the floor. Tsunade lingered for a bit, her left foot shifting closer to the right.

She looked like she was debating whether or not it was the right time to speak to him, but was also unsure what to say to him exactly

Out of desperate need to escape his misery, Sasuke turned to the side, focusing on the IV bag dangling on a high stand. A thin tube slid under my veins, dripping inside of what I knew was morphine.

As if she knew, or rather had to, she took the dripper and adjusted the morphine flow, increasing it as she slowly stroked her thumb over the knob. Her lips were pursed and she seemed to be arguing with herself, maybe she knew what it was like to lose everything.

_She's empathizing with me._ Sasuke mused calmly. Looking at Tsunade, Sasuke asked "Why aren't the police telling me anything about Itachi?"

The nurse paused before offering a heavy shake of her head "This case is special, your family's case is classified."

Almost immediately, his eyes drifted lower, sleep overtaking him, forcing his head to nod. Tsunade tucked him in bed and silently closed the door when she left. When she walked down the hallway the unpleasant aroma of disinfectant spray in the air reminded her of the burdensome choices she must follow. She was a doctor and this was her job.

* * *

Cloudy shrouds of dark powder overwhelmed, soon fading to a blank abyss with empty dreams.

Sasuke soon fell asleep, expecting to dream of nothing this time, just crying for someone to be there for him when he had nothing.

The fear however, drained when he forced his eye open for a brief second. A fox's face greeted him before he was dragged into a dream about a blonde boy and a young fox playing hopscotch.


	3. Ineffable

**INEFFABLE**

(adj.) To great to be expressed in words.

* * *

The words weren't voiced but they rang harshly like a church bell resonating death with its low hum. Loud and haunting.

The low ring of a church bell always did remind me of something dark and sinister. Similar to voices in a way. Words can both be a wonderful thing and horrendous; a church bell is able to mimic words with its ghostly hum and happy chime that always brought dark fog with hits of light in my head whenever I'd hear it resonate every week, but it always managed to save me during the worst parts of my dream by scaring me awake. It sucked the church was pretty much behind the orphanage, strangely enough, I never saw any nuns wandering around; but I was thankful for that, nuns reminded me of aliens.

Voices whispered behind me. Exchanging what I knew were censored words about how I stared at them. Some call me a ghost. How I would just stare at people, how I would randomly scare them for attention, and how I'd play mean pranks. I got attention, but it would only last for a few a moments, but it gave me a sense of existence, that I was alive and had purpose; even if they threw rocks at me, I was content.

Not to be pessimistic or abruptly rude, but it was almost guaranteed that if I had died one day or had gone missing, not many people would have cared; Yes, they would notice, but they would see my disappearance the same was as an obstacle dissipating.

The taste of gritty iron began to crust on my bottom lip, carelessly, I wiped off the blood with the back of my hand, grimacing at the painful contact of my fresh cut meeting with my dirty skin, I'd have to wash my cuts with some clean water before it gets infected. Blood continued to seep out; it was received when some stupid older kids grabbed me from the back, I only managed to escape when some perv named Ibiki had interfered.

When his eyes met mine, through dark sunglasses, he merely nodded at me as to dismiss me. He was one of the few adults that have tried to keep me fairly safe, but adults like that don't go out of their way to protect me since they don't acknowledge me in public. They don't go so far to risk ruining their reputations. Then again, maybe he only helped me cause he was a priest from the church, but what kind of priest keeps porn in his bag?

Mental note: don't mug priests cause they might keep porn in their bags with tentacles, especially if it was Ibiki, he kept Gay Porn.

I didn't have anything against Gays, I was just fairly certain children aren't supposed to interact with any piece of pornography.

When I asked Ibiki about it, he slammed the door and threatened to call the police because I was 'blackmailing' him.

But that's okay, I'm used to being treated like this, because it doesn't hurt anymore. Even now as I sat against the rotten, chipped, wood of the exterior of the house, I wasn't hurting; the open window above my head spewed secrets like heavy smoke. Choking, and toxic.

"I can't believe we still have him here...Why does Sarutobi think he's a kid? He's nothing but trouble." A girl spoke, pounding what sounded like dough. From what I knew, it was some fifteen year old girl.

Harshly, I spat at the chalky ground with bits of dead, hazel grass.

Bitter.

_"I personally think Sarutobi should have locked him in a cage, he's a monster. Why do we need to take care of him?"_ Another female spoke, it was the caretaker. Stupid hag.

"He's gross, he just stares when I draw... Why? I hate him."

This time it was one of the much younger kids. By the squeaky pitch and tone, and inarticulate words, she was probably between 3-5 years old.

_"He's just a monster, it's not like he cares what we do to him."_ This time, the voice that spoke and echoed in my thoughts, bringing a flashback of a girl I once trusted. If I remembered correctly, her name started with an S I think. I didn't take it to heart since she was cornered and pretty much forced to say it, but ever since she said that, we've grown apart, a shame too since I liked her in a crush sort of way.

I spat again, this time it tasted dry and sour. Blood was mixed in. My muscles ached, my fists clenched to my sides as my jaw began to ache like a sore tooth.

"He should die like the killer he is."

I'm not a killer. Every adult I had ever confronted, refused to tell me what I had done to be accused of killing a person, were humans always this complicated? When did I start realizing that for all I knew everyone was just lying to me?

My grime tinted nails dug into what once was a white shirt; it's current state was the twin of a muddy sponge. Those words, those harsh cold words cut inside a dark part of me, the part where I couldn't protect from others, forcing me to bleed out my inner anguish.

Their voices were silent now, they must have left the room.

My bleeding fingers stroked the wood almost affectionately, I ignored the splinters of wood that imbedded in my skin like a needle when my skin brushed against the sharp pricks of oak; oddly, the pain was pleasant. Eventually I jumped to my and climbed through the window to get inside, my goal was the secluded storage room that was my bedroom, I gave the extra effort to wipe my dirty heels into each step I took on the polished ground. The childish satisfaction was delicious.

The hallway of rooms was a mixture of black and white. Gray everywhere, peeled wallpaper of ducks, and some scissors stabbed in the wall. The single light bulb twitched fabricated light in brief flashes. Unaffected, I walked forward to the last door, my room. Other doors were coated with a transparent, burnishing liquid that made their doors glow amber, my door was half burnt with a broken knob, black markings pointing upward gave guidance as to how far the flames made it to the door. The story behind the orphanage was a dark one.

I pushed gently on the door, some of the soot from the burnt wood rubbing off my palm before I sat in the corner, the room was also cold from the window that was shattered. Before I knew it, I was hugging my knees tightly. Silently I thanked the Cicadas for singing loudly, they offered me some sort of comfort, maybe because when other people approached them, they'd fly away contrary to when I approached them; they'd continue singing no matter how close I got.

My internal clock had set off as did the sudden noise of adult chatter began to sneak through my window,

It was almost eleven in the morning.

My eyes stared at the clock, the 'tick, tock' was a repeated reminder of my departure.

The bitter old woman who owned the orphanage, always forced me out the house until the next night.

It was because on days where the couples came in to pick the kids, I was to leave so I could take away any discomfort my presence would bring them if I was there causing discomfort for everyone. My stomach began to feel sick when the smell of mold and festering garbage suddenly became forceful; I needed to clean up my ramen cups and soured milk.

Of course, she only used this as an excuse to keep me out longer so she could have peace knowing that I was gone since most parents that visit were from out of area and had never heard of my 'crime' until she'd fill them in. Immediately, fear would fill in, and they'd be blind to see that I had done nothing wrong except live.

I'm so used to this that I don't feel sad anymore. In fact, I just feel cold, empty loneliness, but I suppose that wasn't any better.

My own leg kicked against the weak wall, I grumbled knowing that if I don't leave now the old hag would probably scream at me and throw everything she could find at me, I was covered in dirt and sweat, sour milk wasn't a good addition.

It was hard enough with no lunch.

So I wandered through the quiet, thick, forest that was rich green blushes. Dizzy slightly, I hugged myself to keep myself stable, the sunlight offered a warm hug to me.

Soon I reached my sanctuary.

A large, healthy oak tree that seemed to dance in the wind upon my arrival. The small fox's grave just below it. My fingers traced the indented words I left on the bark in honor of the young fox, I was silent for a full minute, and the Cicadas stopped singing as well, only to pick up once my limbs began to ascend to the top of the old oak.

I settled on to a thick branch that wouldn't break, I made myself more comfortable by leaning on the dry, rough bark before admiring the rich leaves around, carelessly I wondered why I couldn't live in the trees with the beautiful dyes of green around me. A village of leaves didn't sound so bad to me.

"I wonder how many more kids are gonna be afraid of me now?" I asked myself in a disappointed whisper, wanting to laugh at how pitiful I sounded, why I bothered to even care, was a mystery, perhaps I was getting too lonely. Some children would get a bail from the jailhouse if they were the old hag's favorites; while new children arrive the next day to fill in spots. This whole system was screwed up.

_Fuck this._

Viciously, fingers grabbed a bunch of dead leaves, they made a crisp, dry crunch when my fingers crushed them, and I threw them in the air in annoyance. I glared at the crumpled leaves that began to flutter to the ground along with some shreds of the other leaves.

No matter what all the new arrivals end up hating me, perhaps they saw me for what I really am. A monster, a freak they could use to lash their unproductive anger for no longer having parents.

After all, no matter what they had gone through, no matter what they did, I was worse than any of them. No matter what I did, nothing changed.

I was the worst out of everything.

Perhaps it made them feel better, to make someone already more miserable than them, make someone feel worthless.

At least I was useful in some way. Maybe my death would provide a smile for someone out there.

But maybe someone would cry for me―not likely though.

My tanned legs dangled quietly as the Cicadas began to perch on the oak tree and slowly harmonized together in summer bliss.

These depressing thoughts caused my emotions to sway and drain once again. I rubbed my warm palms against my cheeks and forehead. Taking a deep, slow breath through my nose and exhale, I knew that I could get through this. I was getting myself upset for no good reason, it was becoming a bad habit; one that I couldn't afford.

Shakily, I clutched my stomach tightly as I hugged myself tightly once more. The empty ache clawed my stomach. It was looking for something foreign, something I desired for all my life.

Warmth.

That word that described a feeling of safe and pleasant comfort, something I didn't have.


	4. Hiraeth

**HIRAETH**

(n.) A homesickness for a home you can't return to, or that never was.

* * *

Purring from the loud car reminded me of the time I had been locked in the storage room in the gymnasium. Kids didn't like me very much at school, I suppose they thought what they did was a prank. I knew someone would come from me, but I almost went insane in the cold dark just like I was now. It wasn't dark or cold; it was heated and bright from the ball of fire that hung with the sky.

Even though I was falling apart from the intense emotions from losing everything, the world seemed to be a sadistic bastard by throwing in sunshine, rainbows, and some fucking birds why not, the day I was to be sent to the orphanage.

The bright trees that began to appear in the area around me caught me by surprise, at the increasing amount of greenery, I began to wonder if the orphanage was in the middle of a forest since the land was dried out of any large amount of buildings. The man driving me, Sarutobi noticed my interest to the outside.

"I believe you'll like this place Sasuke, I was raised on this land when I was a child myself, the forests were green like emeralds, the air was even better."

Sarutobi was an elderly man, rubbery sling that sagged like a balloon, eyes squinted, and a hunched back; he was a kind man though a little odd, it seemed he also had some dark history through his pained smiles I had seen on him.

The idea of going to an orphanage infuriated me, I wanted to scream and beg to be taken back, however, I had no place to be taken to except for the orphanage; time was continuing with its job, not caring about my grief because I wasn't the only person suffering.

It's clear I was nothing special, but how is it that people could just leave and ignore others who are in pain? My grandfather Madera turned his back on me when the police had spoken with him, Obito had gone missing last year, and Kakashi was out looking for his teacher's kid who was probably dead.

Why did they turn away from me?

I don't know how they could that to me.

But maybe this was life now, I was alone as an orphan, and nothing was going to swoop down and save me like the movies.

The car began to slow, the wheels making a crunchy sounding roll as it stopped on some rocky gravel.

A fox? I got on my knees to look through the back window from behind, a barely recognizable road, wild plants and tall trees, but no fox.

Sarutobi snapped me out of my curiosity when he spoke.

"See something you found interesting?"

Absentmindedly, I replied in a withdrawn tone as I got back to my seat properly.

"Not really, I thought I saw a fox."

He chuckled.

"Well that's certainly lucky, not many foxes roam around here anymore since the people had begun to chase them out."

He unlocked his seatbelt before he got out of the car.

The side door unlocked so I got out of the car, not prepared for the sudden attack of fresh dewy air infiltrating my nose. My mouth nearly went slack when I saw a flick of a familiar red tail on the corner of my eye.

My head turned to the front, and slaughterhouses began flashing in my thoughts, my anxiety had begun covering my anger and sorrow when I noticed the shedding rooftop with rotted coverings, how sunlight evaded the house as much as possible allowing the shadows to hug the house, the white paint peeling off with strokes of black, grass refusing to grow where the shadow of the house touched, and the crows surrounding the house seemed to be all staring at me.

So that's it, I was going to live in a place where people had probably died, it didn't help that there was a church beside it, followed by a field if marble gravestones and crosses.

_What idiot decides to build an orphanage beside a graveyard?_ I thought, my legs almost refusing to move forward.

Sarutobi had carefully noticed my hesitancy and probably my fear.

"It's a withered house just like me, but I'm sure the children will be welcoming. I'll take your luggage to the caretaker, you go have fun."

I nodded and watched him enter the house, surprised the door hadn't fallen on him when he pulled sharply on the knob. The creaks of his steps reminded me of a witch's house.

Some quite chatter had attracted my attention. To the side, a small pace right beside the graves, children younger than me were playing on the fields, there wasn't even a fence separating the property. They were in a circle, dancing and hopping joyfully while singing.

_Ring around the rosies…!_

I felt something slither around both arms, for a moment I began to panic before I heard two voices sync together.

"You're the new kid! Wow, you're so much cooler looking than the other guys, where did you come from? You're a city boy yeah?!"

The girl on my left asked with a shrill sounding voice.

_A pocketful of posies…!_

I opened my mouth to politely ask her to get off me, but the other girl refused to allow the words to leave my mouth.

"How do you keep your skin so pale?"

Before I knew it, those two virus evolved to four, then ten, then fifteen, and finally twenty.

_Ashes, Ashes…!_

All the excited voices were mixtures of squealing and shaking, I felt like someone had tied meat on me and threw me onto a pig's pen.

They were all excited, not sympathetic nor empathetic as to why I arrived to the orphanage. They just saw me as some flashy arrival, I wonder if this was what it felt like to feel alone, I was sure at the moment that at the hospital I felt grief not loneliness. Now, it seemed like no one was willing to take the time to understand my grief. Everyone was blind to my desperate grasp to remain calm and collected, there was a endless abyss below my feet, anytime my hands could let go.

_We all fall down._

* * *

Cicadas echoed the forests like pitched violins, long and sharp.

I walked forward, the girls taking me through the forest, rather than listening to their senseless blabber my eyes admired the healthy maple trees, until I saw the big oak tree. From the looks of it, it must have been around for a century considering it's impressive size.

A girl asked my name and I answered quietly, which caused a chain reaction of them screaming their names in my ear,

My feet stopped when the same fox had been sleeping on the branch of the oak. It looked far too peaceful to seem real, soon I realized there was someone beside it–weren't foxes feral around here?

It was only the back of the person, but they seemed to be different to the rest. Close but distant to the rest of us, I wanted to join him to get away from these obsessed females.

But the way his back was turned, he didn't seem to enjoy company.

Even though I didn't know him, I wanted to see what kind of face he had with his bright hair that seemed to glow like gold in the sunlight, so different from most people in this country. It wasn't odd for people to have blonde hair, it was quite common, but his seemed different to the rest, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it.

The dragging, which never bothered me, had suddenly become troublesome. For an odd compelling reason, I wanted to gaze at the lonely boy sitting up on the tree and I found myself hoping for his gaze to meet mine so I could ask "What's your name?"

But in this world, I was pushed past him and I kept walking away from him.

* * *


	5. Nefarious

**Nefarious**

(adj) wicked, villainous, despicable.

* * *

Warmth seeping into my skin from the sun, soft harmonized Cicadas, gentle wind touching my face softly to comfort my hurting body. It was a good day, it was quiet, peaceful. Until the squeals of girls ruined it.

Unwantedly, I woken up and peered over the large group of girls to see what the large commotion was about. I met a pair of smooth, black eyes.

Rashly, I jumped off the branch and the girls all screamed when I almost landed on one of them.

"Shit, it's the freak, come on Sasuke, let's go before he starts infecting us with his germs. He's not worth anything." A girl from the back whispered to him, though her voice echoed through the forest, silencing the cicadas. Soft anger began to stir inside of me, I however repressed it with a carefree grin since I was the best at that sort of thing.

Carefully I looked at the new kid. Dark hair, and smooth skin. A spoiled rich kid no doubt with how he didn't realize how lucky he was to be accepted so easily in the orphanage; not at all like me. Girls clung to every part of him excluding his crotch.

_A pretty boy._ I concluded, pleased with my observation.

He kind of reminded me of a human Christmas tree, so I couldn't help by begin to chuckle at him.

His expression which was an odd mix of surprise and– embarrassment? His face was slightly pink when he began to look at my face.

"Laughing to yourself? You're weird." He commented, though I was surprised he hadn't said "freak" like the rest, it almost seemed like he was complimenting me but that was ridiculous so I threw the thought away.

Naturally I had to return the insult with an even bigger one.

"Oh yeah? Well you look like a pale vampire, so who are you supposed to be? Edward Cullen?"

"Tch, at least I'm naturally pale, I'm not the one with fox whiskers." He retorted with a smirk, anger breathed into my lungs and my fists clenched together.

"Well hate to break it to ya, but I was born with these ya ass-sucking bastard."

A few of the girls gasped, and one spoke up to me.

"Well he's not some scum like you! All you have are your words and nothing else!"

The girls hummed in agreement.

I was afraid if I opened my mouth, I might lose my temper, and lash out on her, I didn't need the old hag yelling at me for 'hurting' one of the girls.

So I let her continue humiliating me in front of the new kid.

"You were abandoned because your parents knew you were going to hell. Your own parents left you with a retarded name. Naruto the fishcake. Really?"

The anger was spilling out, I grit my teeth tightly. My name was the only thing I had from me parents, the small hope that my parents loved me enough to name me. To be honest, I don't hit girls, but I was willing to scare them off.

"None of the adults even want to look at you, you're an eyesore, unwanted. Who would miss you?" Bitter words flew right inside me, tearing everything in me.

I chewed the inside of my right cheek, piercing right into the flesh to draw out rust flavored blood, this was a common pattern. Whenever someone new arrives, the other children make sure to go on about horrible my existence was. Whether or not the child believes what they say doesn't matter, they'll want to fit in and choose to agree their claims about me. Otherwise, the majority would no doubt appraise them the same way they regard me.

Punishment out of shallow anger.

No one stupid enough would try to help me.

But before I lost my temper, the boy Sasuke had snapped sharply at the girl.

"Shut. Up."

My blue eyes widened, my mouth lost all muscle and dropped. This guy was a fucking moron. Did he want to die or something? To my surprise, I wasn't happy about this.

His hands were shoved in his loose pockets as he had begun to waltz out of the forest by himself, his eyes a sharp cutting knife.

The girls chased after him, some wandered aimlessly, murmuring "So cool…" Under their breaths.

I knew in my head that I should have felt gratitude to Sasuke, but I only felt frustration and embarrassment. Who did he think he was? This was none of his business yet he spoke up as if he was my friend. I scratched an itchy part of my temple, when I looked at my hand, splotches of claret were present on my skin; the blood was from a opened up scab, shit.

My hand wiped the fluid off my shirt as I watched Sasuke stalk away in a cool stride.

_What a show off. Arrogant asshole._

What a self-righteous bastard he must have been, to be egotistical enough to assume I wished for **his** aid in my desperate time of need when I was cornered. All he did was out of obligation since he probably came from a good family, just following moral rights. Nothing he did today was out of a sense of justice.

Nothing has changed,

Once again, I climbed back up and waited for the Cicadas and quietly stared at nest of birds, the mother and father were missing, but the small baby chicks sat patiently, as if they had expected something to happen.

Just like the birds, I waited.

As if on cue, they arrived with sticks and glass. Coaxing and threatening for me to come down, some attempted to scale the tree to get me, but failed by falling off.

Rare laughter erupted from my chest, they were being such idiots.

"Why don't you give up already? You guys are too stupid to climb up here," Was what I was about to say, until I snapped when they began to ruin the fox kit's grave. Everything bled red when I jumped off the branch, my fist in a ready ball of rage, desperate to cause them pain. Hurting me was no big matter, but to trample on a grave of something that used to be alive was unacceptable.

Maybe I was the idiot.

Maybe I didn't care.

* * *

Pale ice, with foggy greys, and a navy layer of color surrounding the iris. Blue eyes that I had never seen before.

Like an icy diamond with a warm amber behind it. Fascination in his eyes made me slightly tremble.

Blonde hair and blue eyes. Naruto.

It seemed the world had begun to feel sympathy for me and somehow called off the leeches off me by allowing the elderly woman to call on them. When the sight of their existence was gone, I turned back to the forest, desiring to see the frozen blue turn into a pleasant deep shade.

Though my heart had been grieving, perhaps life had stirred inside the moment I had witnessed the cruel ostracism against a normal orphan child.

It seemed Naruto had a difficult past like I did, a more traumatizing one that I could empathize with, so when I observed the obvious hatred against him an odd pulse had filled me with anger. This harsh treatment must have been the reason his eyes were so cold looking, from the state of his attire and hygiene, he had been here at the orphanage for an extended amount of time.

Why didn't the moron think of running away? Or perhaps he has tried, and maybe he knew there was no place for him to go.

It wasn't difficult to locate where I had seen Naruto, there was only one oak tree in the forest, and it just so happened to attract Cicadas.

Expecting to see an abandoned child by himself on the branch, I saw the same child on the ground getting beaten into the ground without the slightest of resistance, his eyes were angry, but there was no intention of fighting back, I knew from his rough demeanor he wasn't the type to brush off anything like this, so shock came to me when I realized he was taking the abuse of his own free will.

A bunch of older kids, looking to be about eleven or twelve years old, had glass and thick sticks from the trees to hit him with, the glass was thankfully small, but the twigs they gathered were strong and hard, creating unpleasant sounds when they'd hit him.

My throat tightened, choking my air and words in shock. Horror glued my legs there, yet everything was falling and burning around me.

"He deserves this."

"What?" I asked out of mild confusion, I had flinched when the girl beside me spoke, I never noticed her until now, where did she come from?

Her hair was short and pink, her eyes a similar green to the trees. She was calm when she spoke, but a thin rivulet of tears escaped her eyes.

I knew too well she was lying, she wanted to stop them with her trembling legs and fists. She couldn't though, because she was scared, and all she could do was refuse from participating in the beatings and laughter; I knew this because I could share her self loathing, we didn't have the courage to protect him because we were the cowards.

My brother was right about me, I was weak, I can't protect anything.

* * *

A week after I had arrived, I hadn't run into Naruto since, probably because my legs had refused to travel down to the forest where he mostly waited on the thick, branch from the oak tree.

I understood he paused from returning to the orphanage, but the way he had looked as he was being beaten to near death, it seemed as if he was trying to protect something, but what?

Eventually, my guilt, remorse, and worry had reached maximum capacity and I couldn't allow my pride to be an impediment against my other emotions. Hurriedly I ran through the forest, passing by tall, short, thin, fat, dead, and alive trees to search for the tree favored by Naruto

Once again, I was caught off guard to discover he was building something right against the tree instead of hanging on the branches, the hard clash of what sounded like rocks being stacked were the only noise that echoed through the thick forest, even the birds were mute, no buzz from a tireless bee, no sound, no music.

Naruto didn't notice my presence, even when I had approached him from behind and waited. Eventually I spoke up.

"Naruto, what are you doing?"

Nearly falling against the tree, his hands saved him from a face plant into rugged bark. Irritated eyes found me and glared. I would have sneered at his immature reaction if it weren't for the bright patches of swollen skin on his face and neck, promising to turn an ugly purple in several days. The cuts made him seem feral, besides the marks that were already on his face.

Treating others with a frigid attitude wasn't a difficult task for me since it had already been chilled thanks to my brother, but seeing Naruto's battered state, I didn't have the cruelty to regard him in a heartless way.

"Do you know how to speak? What are you doing?" I repeated calmly

"Nothing that has to do with you!" he snapped, finishing his stacking the moment his sentence ended, his anger evident on his face and heavier breathing.

"What are you a kid? Losing your temper like that isn't going to make you seem smart." I warmed, stepping to the side to get a better of his rock stack, also noticing scribbled off words etched in the bark, was this why Naruto refused to fight back? To protect some words on some wood?

"Yelling won't make you any friends,"

"Yeah? Well no one wants to be my friend anyway, everyone seems to like you so why are you talkin' to me? You know everyone here hates me." He explained, his fingers began to dig into the dry dirt, his voice sounded bitter.

"I don't like them, they're annoying."

"You're just a spoiled pretty boy, at least you have friends."

His replies seemed to be against me which amused me instead of infuriating my patience.

"If you haven't noticed, they're aren't the best people to be friends with." Mildly amused at his unwavering anger, I felt happy in his company, for once I was drowning or choking in the air of another person, he wasn't trying desperately to get close to each other, he was talking to me for the sake of talking; it was so much easier to breathe near him.

"So what? They're better than hanging with me."

However, it would taste a lie of I insisted I wasn't annoyed with his blind attitude, was it this possible to be this stupidly dense?

"Not true, you don't say bad things about anyone, and you haven't hurt anyone cause its fun."

"Why the hell would I do that? Idiots hurt other people."

Was he dropped when he was a baby?

"So why is it okay for them to hurt you when you haven't done anything wrong?"

For that brief moment, his frozen face made me worried that I had stepped over a sensitive line, but he only kept silent, his face slate, continuing his digging with his nails.

So I sat beside him, taking notice the large rocks stacked up to smaller ones.

A grave.

Oddly, I felt gratitude that he built this, that he respected the dead enough to build one. Curiously, I asked with mild reservation "Who's this grave for?"

He dug his hand into his dirty pockets, my mind wondered if he stored bugs in his pockets with how filthy his physically state was.

"A baby fox I found months ago." He answered immediately, staring at the rocks with intensity, never sparing a glance to me as he brought out his hand and dropped some seeds into the hole he made in the soil before filling it in with the same soil he took out.

The brief moments of when I thought I had seen a fox began to reappear on my head; very soon, I became aware of this off coincidence. The fox that appeared one moment and disappeared the next had led me to him.

A drop of rain hit the dry hazel ground, staining it a rich caramel.

It wasn't rain, it was a tear. Observing Naruto, he seemed to be suppressing his sadness. To be honest, confusion was my initial reaction as to why he hadn't cried without restraint since most children did at our age, come to think of it he looked the same age as me, but I didn't know exactly how old he was–why did I care?

Thinking carefully towards today's events, Naruto was hesitant to cry in front of me out of fear. The idea of Naruto being afraid of me soured and tore my stomach. My hand reached out to him and rubbed his back, it was so warm compared to my hand.

"You're allowed to cry you know." I said, trying to comfort him, surprised that my own voice could still be soft, that I still had empathy inside me, it was very little empathy though–only enough to spare for one person, which happened to be Naruto, the idiot of the town; but somehow I didn't mind.

Once my words reached his ears, he let go and cried away his grief.

He hugged me, but I couldn't hug back.


	6. Desideratum

**DESIDERATUM**

(n.) Something that is needed, or wanted

* * *

As time flows further, the older we become our intelligence also grows. By the time we reach an age where we would be considered intelligent, we would have already made many crass choices that spark regret. When Sasuke was a teenager, he couldn't regret meeting Naruto, but what he did regret at that time was never expressing a farewell when it was his time to go.

The thing with memories they fade and people are forgotten because memories are too delicate, and sometimes our brain chooses to forget things out of convenience not respecting the idea of emotional attachments to certain memories.

At the moment, Sasuke was only ten years old now. It had been about four months since he had arrived, and fall had crawled in, promising winter to follow very soon.

Ever since the first day he arrived, things had been distant between Naruto and him; whether it was because of the other children or that Naruto was doing this deliberately didn't matter because Sasuke was annoyed Naruto hadn't spared any interactions with him. On rare occasions however, there were the rare moments when they talked- argued.

To an outsider they seemed to hate each other right to their little hairs, when in reality, both enjoyed their burning debates because it gave them a challenge, rushes of adrenaline would excite their brains.

That being said, some arguments were fun, some were not whenever they would bring up family.

Sasuke had nearly forgotten about Itachi, his older brother he couldn't wait to strangle.

His plan to get back his older brother to torture him was still a solid plan of his, but he still craved company which Naruto would have been perfect since he was so amusing to rile up, the other children that seemed too attached to him were plain annoying.

During his stay, it wasn't long for Sasuke to realize the mistreatment towards Naruto. The caretaker always 'forgot' to ask if Naruto was here, in return it seemed like Naruto was never around enough for Sasuke to meet with him for a conversation. Naruto would step in the building once every week, but it would only be for sleep on the rainy days, he never said a word in the house which was eerie to Sasuke, Naruto was the type to be loud and mischievous, quiet was not an adjective to describe him.

If Sasuke was lucky, he'd get a glance from Naruto, a sparkling sapphire with crusted ice around the middle would meet his shaded oily black eyes; at the moment they reach eye contact, air turned to lead when he breathed, and his thoughts would scramble around for decisions to take, what words to say to capture Naruto's attention, in the end Sasuke would end up silent and motionless.

Another two months had walked away, and the mornings began with frost coating the tips of grass, roofs, and windows like a scab, slowly mantling into morning dew when the sun risked, naturally this meant the temperatures dropped. With arctic weather came intense fevers to weakened immune systems.

Sasuke didn't care very much if others caught a fever and were bedridden for a few days, but what ate at the back of his head was the image of Naruto dying from the cold. It had already been a full month since Sasuke had last seen him. The normal expectations when you exit outside at the edge of winter, you'd see others wearing coats or heavy jackets and some warm clothes underneath; Naruto wore the same thin, unclean, ripped shirt paired with summer shorts that were a bit loose on him, he didn't have shoes.

Many times he had attempted to enter the forest that were skeletal remains of leafy trees, but due to potential stalkers he knew, he was usually dragged away by a few girls.

The caretaker as usual didn't take much notice, enraging Sasuke enough to flush his cheeks in anger.

_How can she stand sitting around like everything is okay? Does she even care of Naruto dies?_

Of course he would later remind himself that she wouldn't have cared of Naruto had been killed by one the other kids at the orphanage.

_She'd probably tell them "Good job"._

He thought to himself as he settled in bed, restless to Naruto's unusual absence, pulling the heavy blanket up to his neck, trying to coax his toes and fingers to warm up.

After three hours of lying on his back, he couldn't sleep, his imagination kept jumping around to possible deaths of Naruto. It was mentally torturous.

So he threw off the bed covers, immediately hugged by the chilly temperatures due to poor heating, and clumsily putting on socks, sweaters and a jacket before slipping into snow boots and sneaking out the window, careful to keep his roommate sleeping; his roommate was a heavy sleeper, lucky for him.

Sasuke didn't expect snow, everything was dusted with a layer of ice dust. The snow was still very fresh and new so with each step Sasuke took, the snow would cling to his feet, taking off the thin layer to reveal grass in the shape of a footstep.

Snow tangled on his skin when it landed on his face, melting to water, sapping the heat away from his body like a leech; in a matter of minutes, he couldn't feel his face from the frigid snowflakes and wind.

The streets were poorly lit with flickering streetlights which were far away from each other, but that want his focus, it was to the forest that was swallowed by shadows. Sasuke's sight was limited as the darkness gave him a distorted view on his direction. Carefully he walked in, mindful of the mutated roots from the trees. Moonlight danced in rays through the tall trees, the tree's branches resembling limbs from a human.

The missing sounds of birds and Cicadas was eerie, the replacement of these sounds were the sharp whistle of winter, and the grating squeaks from swinging trees,

It seemed all life was abandoned in the forest.

Breathing was harder on winter's biting air, it burned his nostrils and dried his throat to breathe it, but he refused to give up even when the snow soaked his ankles.

Eventually he found the proud oak tree, creating despair in Sasuke since Naruto was not there. Hysteria was building up, and Sasuke could no longer hold on to rationality and calmness, Naruto was in trouble and it was Sasuke's fault because he was too afraid to approach Naruto.

"Naruto! Answer me if you're here!" he hollered, hot puffs of air escaping in the form of smoky carbon dioxide. Blind to everything but his goal to find the child with golden locks of hair, not caring of the thing sticks hitting his face, scrapping it sharply to draw out some blood, ignoring the harsh tugs on his clothes from bushes he ran through; darkness surrounded him in claustrophobic panic.

If he had protected Naruto this might not have happened, Naruto was…!

He was…

A half frozen river with a limp body halfway sunk in water. Ice water. The da blond hair was a dead giveaway that it was Naruto, especially the few spikes of hair that refused to flatten.

Sasuke almost ran until his rationality had caught up. Winter and water equalled ice, he needed to be careful, Sasuke had been eight he fell into his family's pool during winter; the moment he plummeted into the water, ice needles stabbed every millimeter of his skin, constraining his control over his body he nearly went to cardiac arrest from the amount of liquid that forced its way in his lungs.

If he was going to save Naruto, he needed to be careful around ice.

He stepped carefully, avoiding tripping hazards before reaching Naruto's shaking body. With a closer inspection, and with the aid of moonlight, Naruto's legs had been tied to heavy rocks. The new rips in his shirt told Sasuke that someone–most likely a bunch of older kids– did this.

Hypothermia. As if possible, the forest was no longer a scary place, Naruto being dead was far more horrifying that each hair on Sasuke stood on end, shivers crawled around him like a parasite, poisoning him with fear.

"Naruto…!" Without thinking clearly, he ran knee deep into the water, ignoring the gelid water biting, draining the warmth away from his frail body. Nimble fingers trembled from the chaotic clash of emotions he had nearly forgotten about.

Naruto barely responded to Sasuke's call with a twitch of his eyebrow, his breathing was alarmingly slow, his body felt cold, heat seemed to have abandoned him from the freezing water.

The sickly feeling of terror to the idea of losing someone close; Sasuke couldn't lose him, if he lost someone important to him again he wouldn't be able to recover. Why did he get close to Naruto?!

"Please…I…I'm sorry," Sasuke began, slightly unsure what he was apologizing, his numb fingers burned from the cold when he tried untying the knot around Naruto's legs. It wasn't undoing itself, no matter how hard he tried to pull it out–it almost seemed as if the knot was tightening.

"I'm sorry I didn't help you in the first day." He finally managed, discovering that this was his regret that held him back from approaching Naruto. Anger rose, towards himself because this horrible incident had to happen in order for Sasuke to realize the heavy value Naruto was to him.

Quickly he switched to moving the rocks off of his legs, feeling his strength drain from his heavy need to sleep and cold.

The water was a liquid nitrogen compared to winter's breath. Fingers pressed under heavy rocks before pulling up to move it. Slowly it was rolling off.

"Please, don't die, I can't lose another person…I don't want to be left alone in this horrible place."

Sasuke found his face feel like his soaked feet, he was sobbing heavily, panicking and scared Naruto was dead since there was no response.

Immediately he moved to the next rock off his knees.

"I know we've said a lot of bad things to each other, but…I need to tell you, I like arguing… Ever since I lost everything, I was so alone no matter who surrounded me, but you're different. So…So take responsibility and don't die." It was an impossible demand, but he was still so childish, and so desperately wanted to believe this wasn't the end.

He used the last bit of his strength to pull off the last rock before checking Naruto's chest for breathing. His skin was tinted with blue but his lings were still working.

Sasuke guided Naruto's arm around his neck so he'd have an easier time to drag Naruto back to the orphanage house.

Naruto's body began to evaporate Sasuke's body heat, but Sasuke was glad to give some warmth to him if it meant Naruto would live.

Sasuke made it ten meters before another dreadful obstacle had brought itself to light.

He had no idea where he was going in the forest. When he scavenged for Naruto, he was in a blind crazed run for the exciting blond boy, not taking careful observation of his surroundings.

From what Sasuke knew, he was in pretty deep since before he had often traveled in the forest to get time for himself (Not like he was stalking Naruto, mind you.) yet he had never come across a river.

A bloodcurdling howl echoed in the forest and Sasuke's blood seemed to have turned to ice. Wolves.

_Oh God, we're going to die by animals of we don't freeze to death._

On the edge of crying because he had failed to save Naruto, he noticed a fox standing in front of him again. Once amber eyes had confirmed eye contact with him it skipped ahead of him, stopping every few jumps for Sasuke.

_It wants me to follow…?_ Sasuke asked himself, not putting much of a fight against following it since foxes were better than wolves.

The fox led Sasuke out on the streets. He had never been so happy to see homeless people sleeping under streetlights, he turned his head to the right to thank the fox, but it disappeared again.

Confused he stood there for a brief second in mild disbelief. Had the fox want Naruto and him to be friends?

Was it the same fox buried by Naruto? If so that would have meant that the fox was a g-

Naruto murdered, his body shifting a little. By his instinct, he laid Naruto softly down, stroking some stray hairs off his forehead.

"Naruto?" Nervously asked, hoping Naruto would respond.

The flaxen haired boy nodded, his skin regaining some of it's healthy golden color, making Sasuke wonder if he was naturally tanned.

"Sas…Y-You c-ca…me."

"Of course I did you loser, who else has to watch you?" he laughed, out of relief that Naruto had replied, it seemed like he was going to be okay.

"Tch… Bastard, I h-heard…you when you…p-p-pushed…those rocks o-off." Naruto's voice was cracked and shaky, as if he was trying to hang on to consciousness.

Sasuke paused in motions for a moment.

"I see." All he managed to reply.

"Y-You… Sound…Sounded like…O-One of those g-girls c-confessing their love."

Always trust Naruto to ruin good moments.

"You were delirious." Sasuke attempted to lie to Naruto to save himself from being teased, his face turning a beet red.

"H-Heh, I hope you're w-wrong…" Naruto wheezed with difficulty "I was h—happy when you said you cared for me." The pale lips shivered a moment "You were surrounded by everyone, loved in—"

Teeth chattered frantically "Instantly c-cause you ain't a f-failure like me."

Sasuke wasn't sure what Naruto was trying to explain, but Naruto's eyes were a burning blue, as if someone had threw in the empty icy eyes of his into blue fire, thawing the ice away to reveal a deep sapphire surrounded by a passionate fire. Sasuke was captivated.

"But you didn't…tre-treat me like one, you accepted me… when you rejected everyone else." Blond lashes decorated with frost fluttered in attempt to keep them focused

"It made me happy that we were rivals." His voice died away, too cold to escape his lips.

Naruto's eyes closed and became stiffly quiet like the snow around them.

"Don't go, Naruto!"

* * *

Everything was clear to Naruto now. Hypothermia had eaten away at his core, heat barely thrived inside his body anymore; it had deserted him.

How ironic, a few days back dying wasn't a huge problem for Naruto because he didn't care, he was prepared to embrace death because it would have relieved him from living; he endured pain his whole life, eager for the afterlife so when it came he would have finally be granted peace.

Now, he was terrified to the idea of dying. Sasuke needed him. Naruto needed him.

There was something out there he could accomplish.

He didn't want to die. At least not yet, Naruto still needed time to argue about pointless things with Sasuke.

He wanted to live, but the sharp breeze of winter slithered in his veins, squeezing life out of his heart.

_So cold… Dark._ He thought, mildly scared if it weren't for Sasuke squeezing his purpled hand, trying to warm him with his jacket.

He wished they were friends earlier, sorry that he had been so stubborn, and somewhere deep down, he knew Sasuke was sorry too.


	7. Epoch

**EPOCH**

(n.) A particular period of time in history or a person's life.

* * *

Shadows seemed to dance around me, the presence of a familiar ghost kept me company so I wouldn't be alone, I looked up and saw Sasuke. It snowed like heavy rain, and I began to open my mouth, unsure what I was conveying to him, but it was likely the truth of some sort since it felt like the turmoil inside of me poured out like smooth silk, and I was at peace; no longer was I panicking, I let go but the tinge of regret tugged at me before I blacked out and woke up.

Strong smells of sterile disinfectants flowed in my nose, it didn't sting to my surprise, as if my senses were accustomed to the sharp smells.

A tall lady with straight hair expressed a shocked face until it changed to a relaxed smile, before turning a little tense.

"Where am I…?" I asked, squinting at the bright lights around me, even though I had a fairly good grasp of my location. The room was white and I was wearing a blue patient gown. My eyes hurt from the reflected lights but I was able to recognize that I was in a hospital. The sheets covering my body felt soft yet it did a poor job of keeping warmth than cardboard if that was possible.

"In the hospital. My name is Shizune. Do you remember your name?"

Unsure how I had jumped from lying in the snow to a hospital I nodded and answered. "Naruto Uzumaki."

She smiled and also nodded, taking out her clipboard to scribble some information.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, putting down her clipboard and thing pen on a nearby desk.

"Um… I'm okay…But what happened?" I was slightly dizzy, and a bit skeptical of the stranger's concern, unsure if she had good intentions.

"Well…" She bit her lip and glanced at me, she was hesitating from telling me the truth it seemed, but I just wanted the truth, all this confusion was frustrating.

"Lady, I know you're worried about how I'm gonna take it, but I have been through worse so could ya just tell me already?" I exasperated impatiently, slightly guilty because she was only worried for my sake.

She took the clipboard again and lifted some papers to scan the information, her lips worded some of it before she began to explain.

She met my eyes and I noticed she had a rather clean face. Her eyes were wide with a genuine glow in them, she seemed the type to be overly honest with her expressions, from what I could tell she was sincerely worried about me.

My shoulders relaxed a little, my heartbeat calming slightly.

"You suffered from hypothermia for over an hour which caused you're body heat to decrease below 35 C. Due to the exposure of water, you're body underwent shock which disabled some functions of yours. It's a miracle you lasted as long as you did without any permanent damage. When you arrived here your body―mostly your hands and feet were severely damaged from frostbite…" Her voice was cold steel as she read out the information, professional and cold until what was likely the last sentence. The information didn't surprise me, I figured I would have suffered from hypothermia and frost bite and the like.

She took a deep breath and continued, her eyes slightly narrowed, she looked slightly upset, my heart almost skipped a beat.

"You went into cardiac arrest shortly after you're friend had found you, he had the good sense to wrap you with his jacket, then an adult man called the ambulance. You've been out in a coma for a week, for now you're to stay here until you recover."

It didn't feel like a week, it just felt like I jumped cut into the hospital, she must have been joking, no way was I in a coma, laughter was a tempting reaction for me but instead my body froze.

Shizune gave me an earnest look, her face clearly painted with guilt even though there wasn't anything to be sorry for her, I wondered how she survived being a nurse with how sensitive she was, from my knowledge―limited as it may be― the medical field was intense and emotionally tiresome.

Eventually she awkwardly left, her expression remained regretful.

The window close to me offered a bit of comfort, it was sunny, the thin blanket of snow sparkled like diamond dust, it calmed me; I was gone for a week, but I was alive and that was all that mattered to me.

Normally I would have been reluctant to stay but my body was uneasy and refused to move, forcing me to rest longer. Police came by to investigate the poor treatment from the orphanage. Naturally I was glad to tell them even though they were rather bulky looking, they were fairly scary (I admit.).

Few days later, I was informed I'd be moved to a healthier environment, which meant I was finally leaving the orphanage.

Only I didn't want to leave Sasuke or the forest.

But maybe I deserved this, to leave and find new purpose for myself, this was a good opportunity for me. When it was time for me to go, excitement and anxiety jumped inside of me.

As I packed my few belongings I turned to Asuma to ask where Sasuke was.

The bearded man was named Asuma, he enjoyed smoking a lot from his pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He grinned and ruffled my hair in a rough manner. He was the only cop I found myself comfortable to be around so his gesture was comforting to me.

"The kid's fine if that's what you're askin'. From what I hear, he got adopted by a rich couple which is exceedingly good luck."

"Why hasn't he visited me?"

"Well…Apparently he moved somewhere pretty far, Konoha if I'm not mistaken."

My gaze dropped to my feet, disappointment filled inside.

Asuma quickly noticed my sudden change of attitude and knelt on one knee to my eye level, his hand patting my head

"Hey sport, don't be so down. Listen, this is…part of growing up." He explained, though it didn't connect to me how this suffering and abandonment was part of growing up, when all of this was plain cruel.

"I don't understand Asuma." My voice was cracked and tight.

"Well…To be simple, you don't grow up until you lose friends and gain new ones. Growing up means to go through harsh things with courage. It makes you stronger, so you can protect others."

Soon I gave up, choosing to ponder over his words despite the distracting emotions that stirred inside of me to the information regarding Sasuke, I wanted to say goodbye at least.

"I'm sure you'll like the new orphanage, my old friend owns it so I'm sure you'll be treated a lot nicer there." Asuma chuckled, standing up once again to drive me to my new destination.

"Are you sure?" Fear began to fill up inside of me when I thought back to the last month in my old orphanage. I was chased out a lot during that early winter by the older kids, they got irritated that I continued to return to the house for warmth that they knocked me unconscious and left me to either drown or freeze to death in the cold streams of the river.

Sasuke came to save me, but I knew my absence was a burden to him, the fact he hadn't bothered to visit was proof.

Was I abandoned again?

* * *

I settled in my new place. Home wouldn't fit an orphanage, but it was warm like one. The owner was this creepy ass pale guy. He had long black hair and his eyes reminded me of a snake. He liked to be addressed as Orochimaru, he was a gay man. His lover was Kabuto, some guy who liked to study medicine and help treat sick children.

Although Orochimaru was initially scary looking, he was just a nice man with odd quirks in reality.

When I arrived he gave me a tight hug, blabbering passionately about how he could empathize with me, promising to treat me better here. My experience with adults made me withdrawn when it came to Orochimaru and sceptical of his promises, but eventually I gave in after a week or two.

Promises seemed to have been a serious thing since he did keep his promise. Treatment was good there, the other children enjoyed playing with me, eager for me to be on their team when we'd play games, making me feel like I had purpose, I felt included.

It was as if I stepped into a different world, no one hated me; even if the couples looking for children tended to avoid me, eventually whatever reason there was for me to be hated, it seemed to have been forgotten because adults began to approach me after a good while.

Happiness was a first, yet I felt like something was missing, and I knew it was because Sasuke had thrown me away.

Just like hate, time seemed to be an ointment to the tight ache whenever I thought of Sasuke. Little by little, Sasuke meant less and less to me as I made new bonds with others, grasping the wondrous sensation of companionship.

By the second and third month, I had become popular among my male friends and barely had time to myself, Sasuke was only a passing thought now.

Asuma was right when he said I had to lose bonds to grow up; my friends got adopted because of their enthusiastic nature, which led to being adopted by new parents while I got left behind because of my reluctance to be warm towards adults.

"Don't let it bother you too much, a real parent will be able to see past into your good side." Orochimaru would insist, giving back some confidence, affectionately stroking my head in a motherly way.

Quietly I folded the laundry with a couple of other kids, mildly muttering about which of the girls we'd consider cute, I didn't participate since I didn't much interest in females since I arrived.

Content with my current life, I found myself completing a full year at my new orphanage since my near death experience. A year since I last saw Sasuke.

Everything was dark again.

The ugly sweater with a pink cat in my hands had dropped, my arms falling uselessly at my sides.

When I woke up from my coma, Sasuke left without a word of goodbye or any possible contact, it seemed so cut and cold from him; I needed an explanation from him, to see his face, one last smile. That's all I wanted.

At the previous orphanage Sasuke had reduced some of the attacks towards me using his few resources and skill, did all of that mean nothing? Was that why he left so eagerly?

Even if everything he had done for me was out of selfish reasons, I still needed to repay him for treating me as an equal from day one, for choosing to decide I was better fitted to be his friend than any other kids at the orphanage.

No matter what reasons he had for being kind to me, he deserved something back.

All this time I had been pitying myself while I had chosen to be ignorant to Sasuke's problems, to his past that seemed to have affected him so horribly that it stained a good chunk of his personality.

I was so selfish.

This happiness shouldn't have been given to me. Sasuke was hurting all that time and I never even asked, he protected me and even cared for me in his twistedly kind way, and I never gave something back despite the trouble I must have given him.

My throat tightened to the point of rejecting saliva, my teeth clenched to the point of hurting and everything seemed so dark.

I didn't deserve any kindness.

My friends Choji and Shikamaru picked up on my mood and confronted me.

"You've been handling the laundry roughly, what's bothering you?" Choji asked, his light brown hair in a slight mess as he turned his face to me. His eyes were laced with concern.

Shaking my head I continued folding, further denying the truth in me. "Nothing, just uh, I got…"

Crap, what could I lie about?

"You got…?" Choji urged me to continue.

"Diarrhea!" Now I was just improvising like some moron, might as well just go with it.

As expected there was long stiff silence followed after my panicked outburst, hot embarrassment flushed my cheeks as I continued.

"So there! Yeah…Um…" my words tripped over themselves when Shikamaru gave me a raised eyebrow, he was always too smart for his own good, especially now. Fuck.

"You're sure about that…? I mean you don-"

Choji thankfully interrupted Shikamaru. "Anyway! Remember what Kiba said he was gonna do yesterday?" his soft voice interrupted with a high pitched excitement.

Shikamaru sighed before giving up, going along with Choji's attempt to steer the conversation to a less awkward one.

"Yeah, he was screaming about, it was annoying since I was trying to nap on the roof."

Relief covered my face, I guess friends really know how to consider feelings. They were kind to me because they wanted to be, I didn't bribe them or blackmail them to act like this, it was nice, refreshing even.

Choji grinned, his eyes were suddenly mischievous. "He did it."

"You're kidding me, Orochimaru is going to kill him once he finds out."

"I'm not, he actually collected poop, and spelled out 'big' on our neighbor's doors! Go outside and check, they're still there!" Choji howled in jumping laughter, Shikamaru also joined in a toned down chuckle.

Slowly, I closed my eyes, smiling just lightly.

Letting go Sasuke would be my step forward, his life was constantly changing like mine so he must have forgotten about me, so I needed to move one, but I wouldn't forget him, he had been part of the biggest change in my life, he'd be etched in my heart.

All this, was my life now, so I needed to enjoy it, I've had enough of misery.

"Naruto! You feeling okay enough to check out Kiba's prank?"

I looked up to Shikamaru and Choji, already up on their feet, eager to ditch laundry folding with me, waiting for me to join them with their arms extended for me to reach.

Naturally, I grinned at them and took both of their hands, lifted to my feet, I exclaimed with eager excitement "Hell ya, I'm not gonna be beaten by Kiba's weak prank!"

So I exited through the front door, leaving with my new friends into the bright sun looking forward to new opportunities, not caring of the consequences.


	8. Sonorous

**SONOROUS**

(adj.) An impossibly deep and full sound.

* * *

Just like everything else, saying goodbye was never easy. But Naruto managed at his young age of twelve. Shikamaru and Choji were adopted a year ago, Kiba left last month, so Naruto had to go back to square one, building new bonds again, but he still kept contact with them through emails and skype.

Plenty of adults had taken interest in him before, but Naruto's withdrawn attitude made it difficult for him to be adopted, or so Orochimaru tried to explain lightly.

Naruto didn't want to put up an act to be favoured so he could be chosen to leave, he wanted to allow his instincts to take over whenever he met strangers so if he gets adopted, he wouldn't be afraid of disappointing his parent(s) when it came to his personality quirks.

Today, it seemed like it would be his lucky day; at least that was what Orochimaru promised.

Naruto woke up late as usual, in his comfortable bed, his window half open to let on fresh morning air to greet him with a crisp breeze.

Since it was his summer vacation he didn't need to worry about small trivial matters such as school, he laid there for a couple of minutes reluctant to leave the warmth his thick blanket kept for him before he remembered what Orochimaru would do if he slept past ten thirty.

Naruto only slept in once and had to wear a dress for the rest of the day while going out to buy groceries, humiliating yes, but extremely effective; A dress may not sound bad, but the dress Orochimaru kept for these occasions were mortifying that bordered on traumatic, the dresses could consist of having large Hawaiian flower prints that had clashing colors with polka dots everywhere, a bow at the waist, and yellow collar with a duck pattern.

It was ten fifteen when he decided to get out of bed and put on a new shirt and pants. Going downstairs to eat and play in the backyard. The back of the large house was Naruto's favorite, the grass was always soft to feel on his feet, each blade of grass was a thin slice of silk growing from the soil.

Today it seemed the majority of the other orphans had slept past ten thirty which meant they were destined to wear ugly pink dresses.

_Poor bastards._ Naruto thought, snickering to himself on guilty pleasure while he pondered what prank he would do today, would he apply superglue on the chaos and utensils today? Or would he clog all the toilets? Or better yet! Soak tampons and put them in the neighbour's mailboxes?

So much to do, with so little time.

His heavy debating distracted him from outside noises and the adult approaching him.

"Naruto." The voice called, a soft whisper that he'd mild hesitation.

It was a soft voice that seemed to be caring and serious, for a brief moment a boy with pale skin and nightfall hair appeared in Naruto's mind before turning his head quickly to have his hopes dashed to see a gentle looking man with spiked hair in a ponytail, cinnamon skin with a scar decorating the bridge of his nose horizontally to the middle of his cheeks.

"Who are you?" Was Naruto's first question, feeling uneasy with this man with him, afraid he might have wanted to hurt him since he was alone, of course this was common with every new adult that approached him.

"Well, my name is Iruka, I must have caught you off guard, sorry." He apologized, smiling at Naruto a friendly manner, slowly crouching to Naruto's eye level to meet eyes with the stubborn blond boy.

Just like the normal cycle, he was trying to get friendly with him, then he'd get tired of his stubbornness, and leave, at least that was how it was supposed to happen.

But he didn't seem to get the message. "So Naruto, what do you like?"

"Ramen duh." Blinking to himself in wonder as to why he answered when usually he avoided questions like these with a rude reply, he must have been reeling from fatigue.

"My favorite dish as well...what are you up to?"

He looked up to the innocent brown eyes, Naruto only scowled.

"Why do you care?"

Rude as it may have seemed, Naruto liked the orphanage he was at because he didn't believe he would fit anywhere else, he wasn't the orphan that everyone hated; he was just an orphan, any further than that was unnerving because change might have meant something bad.

Naruto wasn't ready for change.

Naruto expected Iruka to eventually give up in frustration, comment how aggravating he was, but instead, Iruka chuckled, his head lifted on the air to project his amusement.

"What's so funny?"

Iruka only shook his head, still smiling before he replied in a lighthearted tone.

"You know I was from this orphanage as a kid too."

"What? No way, you're too old." Naruto denied on disbelief, Iruka wasn't an old person in the eyes of an average person, he was in his early twenties, but Naruto liked over exaggerating.

"Orochimaru is sixty five years old did you know?"

"Liar!" Naruto shouted in rough laughter, the idea of Orochimari who looked to be around the age of thirty was absurd.

"I'm not lying, he really is that old." Iruka replied with a soft chuckle.

"So he's been taking care of kids since he was twenty or somethin?" Naruto urged his questions, quickly forgetting Iruka was a stranger.

To his surprise Iuka shook his head. "Not quite, you see, Orochimaru had quite a history, he started this orphanage a little under fifteen years if I'm correct."

This poked Naruto's curiosity, Orochimaru? Troubled past? The same person who enjoys hot saunas, crying over his soaps, reading gay porn to children?

The curiosity gleaming in Naruto's eyes did not go unnoticed. "You'll have to ask Orochimaru for yourself, not my place to say, I have to respect him since he's older." His voiced was slightly troubled, he wanted to tell Naruto since it was an intriguing story, but Naruto understood perfectly well that Orochimaru's story was his own story to tell.

"You're no fun! At least tell me what you were like as a kid here." Insisted Naruto, his stubborn will fading against Iruka's unyielding warmth. There was something in Iruka's eyes, empathy and kindness, the type that seemed so straightforward that Naruto couldn't look away.

"Well, can I take a seat?" a tanned hand gestured to the patch of grass beside Naruto. Eagerly the excited boy nodded. Naruto sat up, eagerly inching closer to Iruka.

Quietly Iruka started from entertaining pranks that succeeded more than they should have, and the pranks that just didn't work out, to the more serious stuff regarding how he became an orphan.

By the time he finished, it was lunch time and Naruto had to go back inside to help with the chores.

Iruka promised to come back, and he did. Every other week he came, Iruka along with Naruto wanted to visit more, but Iruka lived quite far away so it would have been troublesome to visit too much; Naruto understood this, he was patient for the days Iruka would visit him. Just as Iruka mentioned, Orochimaru had an interesting past. When Naruto asked and mentioned Iruka to Orochimaru, the pale man cackled before explaining that he was once part of a gang as a child that grew to the point of joining the Mafia. It was rather difficult to keep a calm expression as Orochimaru had told Naruto while he was netting a pink scarf.

Orochimaru explained he wasn't thinking during those times until his best friend had to pay the price by dying to protect him, to honour his friend Orochimaru abandoned his gang and worked on to develop a stable future, apparently the books(gay porn) he read to us were his friend's novels. The conversation regarding his background ended there, he switched to rambling about how cute Iruka was as a child, which Naruto tuned out as he washed the dishes as he already heard of Iruka's past.

After four months of consistent visiting, Iruka adopted Naruto, later explaining that he had been busy working hard to get a promotion to support Naruto better.

Though Iruka was overjoyed to adopt Naruto and call him his son, Naruto was drowning in terror.

'Son' wasn't Naruto, he wasn't supposed to have a father. Naruto was the orphan who would always be alone, his adoption was a mistake; despite his protests, he departed after his eccentric caretaker soaked him in tears and gave him a tight hug while the blonde boy had only one thought in his head

_Why me?_

This was a burning nightmare for Naruto. His hands shook slightly, clammy with nervous sweat, he wiped it off his orange pants, thinking it would be less noticeable on orange than his white shirt.

Suddenly, the future seemed bleak, the higher things were going for Naruto the more painful the fall would be.

And the fall made him acrophobic.

* * *

They say scars fade, and they do if you allow them to. But some people don't want lose those scars, afraid they'd forget the important memories that came with it; Iruka had gone through the same thing with his parents.

His Mother and Father were well loved by others for their patient and gentle natures, but that didn't seem to slow the unforeseeable murderer that approached them.

Many good people had died that day with Iruka's parents, when the corpses were found, they couldn't find the murderer even after he had been gunned down, the body just vanished.

Whatever happened to the body, Iruka knew the psychopath was still alive, though lonely crippled.

By some cruel trick the identification of the serial killer was vague to the point that they weren't sure if the serial killer was a man or woman, the only solid evidence they had was the newborn infant that was left behind by purpose; as if it was leaving a note that was written in a child's writing, explaining that the killer had done this because the baby's father had damned him.

The madman that had committed these horrible felonies suddenly disappeared, leaving a baby in his place to receive unjust treatment, hurting the baby from birth, the serial killer's plan succeeded by making the baby suffer.

The psychotic criminal had the vast intelligence to deduct that the public would be too ignorant to realize they were falling right into their expectations, taking on the roles perfectly in their game.

Unfortunately he was right on the mark, the entire town was blinded by hate their own anger once they saw the child that was left as proof as the murderer, to them there was no difference between a newborn to a bloodthirsty killer. The worst part of it all was that the town was tight and small, so everyone knew who Naruto was and what he represented.

Not a single person could forget that day of despair, very few were able to let go of their grudges. The ones who finally moved on were the ones that moved out of their small town to a more open and flowing city; Iruka had fought the pain inside himself, afraid he couldn't forgive because he was a coward.

To ease the pain, Iruka tried to bury his grudges so he could avoid thinking about it, it was out of sight, but it remained living like a leech crawling under his skin.

Reality caught up to him soon. Naruto, the proof of his festering grudge was laying in the cold snow, dying from the winter and water. Iruka had stayed late that night to fix the heater in the elementary school he was working at, wanting to keep the young students warm for school since the school principal was rather tight when it came to money.

The bus he stepped off of was the street Naruto had been found by him. A pale boy with jet black hair and natural striking eyes was close to tears as he tried to warm Naruto's trembling body.

Iruka was always a prepared man, so the cold weather was no bother to him, but when he saw that scene before him, his warmth ripped off his body, comfort was ejected as his grudge broke out in full throttle.

A mere child was dying, but the Naruto was _that_ child. It was plain and simple, Iruka could walk away or call an ambulance.

The obsidian eyed boy slowly wept for Naruto, silently but Iruka couldn't ignore the desperate wreck those two were, so he took his phone out from his jacket's pocket and dialled the hospital. It was difficult to start, but Iruka forgave the grudge he held the moment his fingertips felt his cellphone.

Although he could have left right after he called with a clear conscience, his feet planted themselves in the snow, ignoring the chunks of snowflakes building up on his body as he watched.

Iruka felt uneasy for the rest of week, confused as to why until he found relief spread inside of him once he had heard the news of Naruto's recovery.

That small moment, a truth dawned upon Iuka; Naruto by himself was only a child. The whole town failed to see that, and so had Iruka.

Naruto never did anything to hurt anyone, but the adults failed to teach their children to accept others like Naruto. Iruka had held unrelated grievance against Naruto, as part of the older generation, he failed in forgiving.

But thanks to time, he started to heal because he reached out to forgiveness.

After two years went by, Iruka had concluded that by forgiving Naruto, that he could raise Naruto and give him the life he deserved, it was out of a sense of justice, but also out of the unexpected affection Iruka had for Naruto, it was platonic of course, like a brotherly affection even though neither had interacted with one another. Iruka saw himself in Naruto.

Alone and in desperate need of love.

Iruka believed in adults teaching the new generations their mistakes so that wrong judgments won't occur again; obviously his hometown was a lost cause, but Naruto wasn't.

Naruto knew suffering better than anyone, with proper nurturing Naruto could turn out to be a great man, someone that can empathize and forgive; to be the man Iruka had failed to grow up as.

Of course Iruka wanted to introduce himself to Naruto before adopting him it'd make the transition smoother. As expected, Naruto was distant at first, cold, and maybe a little pessimistic.

_He still thinks of himself as worthless…_ Iruka would muse sadly to himself, getting angrier at himself for allowing a child to deteriorate to something empty, he could have prevented this from happening.

But to his relief, his remorse was short-lived when Naruto opened up to Iruka; Iruka expected more of a closed up reaction when they met, but he liked to think that Naruto could feel his good intentions, for that to be the reason why Naruto trusted him.

Whatever the reason was, Iruka would guarantee Naruto would never regret opening up to him. Iruka wouldn't let down Naruto after the world abandoned him.

He continued his visits through sharp management of his time, until finally he adopted Naruto.

What should have been a step forward to a new world seemed to be a possible threat to Naruto when he moved in.

Naruto was still extremely happy for most part, there were moments where Iruka would observe from the corner of his eye that Naruto would sometimes glanced outside and seem sad, like he was abandoned. Though Iruka might have been paranoid for no reason.

After a few weeks into their new family, Iruka found that Naruto was excitable, brash, and sometimes rude, it seemed whatever once weighed down on Naruto, it seemed to have lifted and faded.

Iruka never pressed on about what happened.

They were a family now, this had required time for Naruto to accept Iruka deeper inside his heart even though Iruka already accepted Naruto as his son.

Nonetheless, this didn't stop Iruka from being a good father, and it was worth every second of his time.

When it came to curfew, he'd make sure Naruto went to bed properly, ate his vegetables before eating his meat, taught, or at least attempted, Naruto manners, and scolded Naruto whenever he broke something or went overboard with his words.

Like every young adolescent, Naruto would lash back with his words from being yelled at but would later approach Iruka after calming down after some careful thinking, admitting Iruka was right and apologizing for his words.

Very soon the time came for Naruto's thirteenth birthday. This was Naruto's first birthday celebration and Iruka wanted to ensure that it would be perfect, to hopefully help Naruto take that one last step forward and allow himself to experience what a family was.

Inviting his friends from school seemed like a good idea but Iruka was afraid it wouldn't be clear enough for Naruto to see Iruka's intentions, Naruto wasn't the sharpest boy of his age, seemingly ignorant to subtle messages.

Deciding it would be best for his first birthday to be just them, Iruka hastily searched what gift Naruto would have liked.

To some grand luck, he found something of Naruto's interest; a fox plush with nine tails from his favorite band that were called Tailed Beasts to which Naruto favoured the ninth member who's symbol was a Nine Tailed Kitsune from Japanese mythology.

On the day Naruto left for school, Iruka thanked the higher force that Naruto had an extended field trip at school that day, something about laser tag for science, this meant Iruka had more time to cook Ramen and bake a birthday cake. Time was what he needed for this day to be a success.

Iruka wasn't the best at baking, last time he had attempted to bake a German Black Forest, he ended up burning it to a hardened statue of bread.

Luckily he created an edible birthday cake, with only 6 failures before, he was improving. Despite the exciting happiness Iruka felt a heavy pull in his stomach, he was worried Naruto would shut himself even more from this; but without taking risks like these, how was he supposed to achieve anything?

When the sun began to dip into the horizon, Naruto lazily unlocked the front door, yelling out "I'm home! I got socked by stupid fucking Kiba in the dark."

Iruka sighed.

Kiba was an even more rambunctious young boy that Naruto knew from the same orphanage, it was by mere luck that Naruto had enrolled in the same school. Iruka didn't necessarily like Kiba's potty mouth, but Iruka could tell from the gleam of the child's eyes, that Kiba was a soft hearted kid deep down.

"Who the hell brings their dog to laser tag? Kiba's dog ended up peeing every corner he could find, who pees that much anyway? Fuck!" Angrily, Naruto took off his shoes, mumbling in his breath about how Kiba joined his dog Akamaru in the pee fest, also peeing all over his shoes and shorts.

"Watch your mouth Naruto!" the adult warned, used to having to tone down Naruto's use of language.

Iruka lit up the candles on Naruto's cake before he headed to the front of the door, imagining the black eyes on Naruto's face.

Thinking back on it, Kiba had just moved schools to go to Leaf, so maybe it wasn't mere coincidence Kiba moved to a school farther away from his house, there wasn't anything called coincidence since everything happens for a reason.

Normally Iruka would have scolded harder for the swearing and name calling, but he refrained to do so since it was a special day, Iruka also knew that it wasn't uncommon for friends to call each other things and not mean it.

"Do you have a bruise? Are you bleeding?" Iruka asked by instinct, having gone through this phase many times when it came to the roughhousing at school, his hands rubbed the smooth skin of Naruto's chin, taking note of thin scrape that didn't need disinfecting since it had already been treated.

"Naw, I'm good like a sticker. What's with the flour in yer hair?"

Iruka chuckled and touched the side of his loose hair, the tips of his hand dusted with evidence of powder from his head.

"Yes well, I have gone through quite the endeavor that I am proud to say I succeeded." Iruka proudly stated, almost tempted to laughingly add that he was dead tired.

But it would be worth it to see Naruto happy. Slapping his hands against his pants to wipe off the excess flour on his hands Iruka gave a harmless smile, which Naruto was able to deduct the fatigue from Iruka's paler shade of skin; whenever Iruka was stressed or tired, his skin would turn a shade paler, barely noticeable to anyone except Naruto.

Naruto tilted his head to the right, one eyes slightly squinting and his mouth slightly parted.

"What d'ya mean by that?" Naruto asked when Iruka began to get up.

Shaking his head, anxious and amused to the idea of Naruto's clueless self, he walked to the dinner table which Naruto predictably followed like a puppy following a new discover

Thankfully Iruka had not spilled any flour on the ground, saving the trouble of mopping. The dinner room was a dusty black, with only a warm glow nestled in the middle. Iruka walked hurriedly to the table, smiling at Naruto nervously, fiddling with the end of his now powdery shirt with his clammy hands.

"What is…?" Naruto began in disbelief, his innocent curious expression dropped to confused shock, which worried Iruka, he wasn't sure if he had ruined their relationship by his impatience.

Silently Iruka cursed himself using extremely distasteful language, maybe this was too soon, but he had the right intentions so he went with it with confidence.

"It's your birthday isn't it? Come sit." He gestured with his left hand to the seat across the table from his own seat he was pulling up giving a smile to hopefully coax Naruto to take a seat with him.

The chair he pulled out made a smooth pulling noise against the wooden floor, to his surprise he heard a second chair being pulled out, Naruto had compliantly sat.

Naruto's face was calm if not withdrawn, his eyes were confused in a small squint, his mouth pursed in apprehension, but his body seemed relaxed.

Royal blue eyes with the reflection of candlelight were concentrated at the cake, the candles, and then to Iruka, keeping silent the whole time, an unusual occurrence for the spirited ball of electricity.

At least Naruto trusted that Iruka would never hurt him, giving some courage for Iruka to break the ice.

"I understand you may not always trust me Naruto." Iruka began, choosing easy words to be clear, although it wasn't the best beginning Iruka had a way of ending things in unforgettable ways.

"That's not-" Naruto sat up, his head snapping forward to meet Iruka's soft eyes.

"Let me finish." Iruka interrupted, his voice still a soft lavender. Naruto quieted, though his stiffened body posture did not change, Naruto wasn't used to this kind of confrontation.

Breathing through his nose he continued in a more firm tone, but not enough to scare anyone.

"As a man who grew up with no parents, I want to make sure you feel at home here,"

Iruka stopped his tapping foot, taking one more breath.

"So I made this cake and some ramen," Iruka smiled a bit at the glittering flash of excitement in Naruto's eyes, it seemed Iruka made the right move.

"And…?" Naruto urged, his eyes seemed to bore a hole in Iruka with his intense focus.

"For your birthday, and I hope you enjoy it." Iruka ceased his sentence in calm peace, the insecurity finally dying down despite the ire to say more, he refrained out of the understanding that Naruto was still a child in many ways.

"That's it?"

"What?" Iruka dumbfounded.

"Awww man, I thought you were gonna pull a cool speech about you and me!" Groaned Naruto in disappointment, smiling a little.

"When you're older." Iruka added, returning a smile, Naruto's eyes were fearless, it had seemed Iruka had succeeded in breaking down the final wall between them.

"That's what Kiba's mom said about condoms."

Iruka nearly choked on spit before clearing his throat.

"In any case, do you want some cake? Blow out your candles first. Then you can eat some cake."

"Alright! What am I gonna wish?" Pondering quietly, Naruto settled on to something after careful thinking and blew the candles out, the smoke slapping Iruka's face, but he didn't mind.

"Since you finally blew the candles out I have a present." Tanned fingers clutch the sharp edges of the cardboard box Iruka had skillfully wrapped in orange paper with velvet orange ribbons, the colors Naruto favoured.

Setting the present in front of Naruto after placing the cake to the side, Naruto's hesitation had bubbled back.

Iruka knew what he was thinking, he must be afraid to touch something wrapped so carefully. To encourage him gently Iruka said "Go on, I'm sure you'll like what's inside. It's just for you." And he meant that so Naruto would understand the gift before him would only be meant for him and only him.

The thumb and forefinger pulled the ribbon off by undoing it, and Naruto attempted to unwrap it without ripped the delicate paper before losing patience and ripped patches of it to finally open the lid and pull out the content inside.

A bright, plush, stiffed fox toy from his favorite band stared at Naruto with it's plastic eyes.

Naruto blinked, his hands still holding the plush in front of himself, his mouth parted in surprise, looking to Iruka with wonder.

"How did you know I liked the Tailed Beasts?"

"I wouldn't have been a good parent if I didn't pay attention, I've been hearing bits about your conversations with Kiba from his mother, she said you were ecstatic about the band, going on and on about how cool the fox guy was." Iruka teased, enjoying the pleasant blush that rose in Naruto's face.

"I realize it may be a bit childish since it is a plu-"

"No!" Naruto instinctively shouted, his eyes wide with panic.

"I… Really like it. I've never had a birthday of any sort I'm just…" Naruto paused, looking for a word to describe his emotion, his face scrunched in deep thought in search of the right word.

"Happy." He managed to say, finding the word odd tasting, not that odd tastes were bad, finding himself feeling a little embarrassed to have someone pay so much attention to him.

Naruto just wasn't used to these foreign sensation in his chest and face. Some unknown force pulled his face to an unyielding smile which he didn't protest, and his chest was filled with warm fire.

Nodding, Iruka understood quickly that Naruto was beginning to realize he wasn't alone anymore, that Iruka wanted to be a family with Naruto.

"I'm glad." He replied.

Naruto looked to Iruka, holding the plush close smiling.

"Thanks for all of this, dad."

* * *

**Growing up, I didn't think I'd ever get to make it this far. To be in my adult years, actually making my own life without anyone to tell me who I was. This time, I'll forge my own path that defines me. I want to believe in myself with everyone else.**

* * *

Each day was a monotonous arrangement of pristine order of black and white. My uniform consisted of a cashmere blazer, a smooth silk undershirt which glowed bleach white, and a black tie tucked. The soft, gray blazer had my school's symbol patched on, a white rose which was meant to signify innocence of White Sound Academy.

While school was even more dull in comparison. The desks were white, square and in rows of exact order. The desks were pure metal and had the conditions of that of a new desk, when in reality, they were quite old. Just a look of the desk told me the school consisted of order.

White sound Academy had the equal strict expectations of a military camp, though the conditions were different when compared, the students were mere drones that obeyed and studied.

This type of school was well known for whipping students into the perfect child for their rich parents since it seemed like adults had nothing better to do.

Ever since I was taken by two strangers that weren't even in love with another, it was clear that I was nearly a trophy to them since they recognised potential in me, whatever that meant.

At the beginning, I was regretful for never spending more time with Naruto; we did act like close friends, but we never spoke about whether or not the other wanted to be friends, we had thrown away any chance of clarification of our bond, and I regretted leaving his side when he was bedridden in the hospital. My pride had stood in the way, and I hated myself for it.

Reassuring words caused little effect on my anxiety when I was informed Naruto had sunken in a comatose state, they told me it was extremely mild shock to the brain and that he would be fine, but observing him lay there was terrifying to me.

In the past, I've seen Naruto sleep when I was his roommate for a week when a bunch of children had been adopted so organization could be planned for new bed arrangements.

Naruto was a lively sleeper, he twitches his wrists, legs kick up like a horse, his mouth wide open, and his body tossed and turned all around; looking at his vegetable state, completely motionless with a blank face; I thought he was dead when I saw him, maybe he would have been better off dead.

So when I departed, leaving my last memory of him in a bed, lifeless, I knew that the life ahead of me would be just as dead.

My new guardians were not fit to be parents, even if they were, the only one set of 'parents' in my life were my real ones who were buried under the cold Earth, and the idea of making room for new parents disgusted me.

Nonetheless I didn't complain, nor did I ever really cause any ruckus since my guardians ignored me. Generally when they were home, they'd argue. A lot.

It didn't bother me―actually it did. I merely chose to ignore it as I made my way to the attic, the maids would nod at me when I'd sneak up there, their eyes softly gazing at me in concern.

Normally I would glare at them, it wasn't their business to care, but for an odd reason I would just respond with a returning nod. As if I couldn't bring myself to act cruel to compassion.

_I'm weak… It's all that idiot's fault…_ My thoughts faltered as it stopped for a moment as I reached for the ladder to the upper floor.

_Naruto. It'd been so long since I've thought about him, like I had forgotten him, what did his face look like anyway?_ Didn't matter at this point.

Finally reaching the top, I settled cozily into the dark corner, staring at the large glass window in the ceiling. The moon illuminated milky rays of light, it was soothing to stare up to the moon. The fact that today was my thirteenth birthday didn't bother me, it was quiet today for once, it looked like the yelling settled early.

Nodding off to sleep, the last blurry memories that I saw was a sharp toothed smile, an orange shirt, a fox, and familiar laughter.

The next morning, I couldn't remember my dream.

Oddly enough, I felt an ache eat at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Under different circumstances, I truly believe Orochimaru would have been a better person, because no one is born evil. Orochimaru was obsessed with immortality under the influence of his parent's death and what had followed after. Although I find him a distasteful character, I wanted to stray away from his depiction as always a bad person when really, anyone is capable of changing and are able to commit many crimes. I suppose that's why I enjoy reading and writing multi layered characters. Thanks for reading this far, It'd be appreciated for some feedback on my character depiction as I am always looking to improve.


	9. Serendipity

**SERENDIPITY**

(n.) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way.

* * *

Each day was the same. Wake up, clean self up, prepare for school. It was a schedule. Simple and easy to follow. Today required a little more preparation. After all, it was time for Sasuke to move on to high school.

It was his first year, but was going to his second year since he skipped a grade. Sasuke wasn't one to experience any sort of emotional distress, but even he felt rather anxious to the prospect of going into a different school. Luckily for him, he had a simple easy plan to follow through. For school, he'd just avoid working with other people, isolate himself from others. Once he got through high school, he'd study in university.

Then work his way to success to take down his brother Itachi.

Putting on a dark blue shirt, Sasuke looked at the glassy reflection of himself, staring in hesitation.

After he takes down Itachi… what else would he do? Take over his 'parents' company that much he understood. Slowly he headed to the bathroom and splashed refreshing cold water, trying to brush off the feeling of uneasiness he felt in his stomach.

What else would he do after? Settle down with a wife and have children.

Blinking back into reality, he nodded to himself as he quietly headed down to the kitchen, the smell of toast and eggs welcomed him softly. The cook gave a mild smile, his eyes endearingly greeting Sasuke in the morning. Many workers had come and gone since the fighting of the owners of the house were often out of control, but never the chef, he had been at the mansion before Sasuke had arrived; perhaps the old employee had viewed Sasuke as a child that was lost in loneliness, but he never once brought up questions of Sasuke's past.

In fact, Sasuke couldn't recall a time where both of them conversed for a long period of time, they were always short, straightforward, and clean which Sasuke appreciated.

Settling into the chair, Sasuke's forefinger slid down the spine of the fork on the table, enjoying the mild coldness of the metal as a maid set down his plate of toast and omelette.

The woman looked more of a woman with her softer looking skin, pale skin that was decorated with freckles, a band aid decorating the bridge of her nose―a result of her clumsiness― and dark brown hair that was a mess of curls.

Luckily for Sasuke he didn't have to deal with a flustered hormonal woman when it came to this peculiar maid since she was generally quiet and professional.

Giving a smooth "Thank you." He lifted his fork to dig into his richly season breakfast. The toast was crunchy with a strong taste of peanut. Already Sasuke felt the grogginess of the morning fading out of his body. Taking a bite out of his eggs, his eyes glanced at his wristwatch.

_6:45 am. I have a good hour and half before my school begins classes._ Sasuke noted with relief. He usually took a good 20 minutes with his hair and teeth after eating, and he hated being rushed when it came to organizing himself to be presentable as a high class man of society.

Eating wasn't time consuming since Sasuke didn't eat an enormous amount. Easing himself back to his extra bathroom, he began to work on his slightly crooked hair, and freshened up his teeth, taking pleasure of how quiet it was on the building. Recently his guardians had both taken a liking to traveling abroad for pleasure, Sasuke was like their stand in to the mansion, never treating him like a real son.

One more glance at the mirror.

Empty coal eyes, delicately shaped eyebrows, smooth jaw, soft lips, and straight nose, Sasuke confirmed and approved of his appearance, right as he turned away he caught sight of something orange, returning his eyes once more to the background of the mirror, the bright flash of color had disappeared.

Vague tugs at his chest returned, swallowing heavily Sasuke forced himself to head to the car, blocking out the soft laughter of a child he somehow knew.

It was 7:11 am by the time Sasuke had grabbed his backpack, fitted on his shoes, and got himself into the back of the car, his escort was settled readily at the driver's seat.

As prepared as Sasuke, the driver's voice was rough as he spoke up.

"Want to go drive around as usual? You have a good 40 minutes before you have to be at your school." He asked, despite the obvious answer Sasuke would give every day.

"Yes."

Soon the car purred to life as the convertible began exiting the garage opening. The soft leather felt soft on the back of Sasuke's neck when he rested his head on the seat.

Long drives were somewhat therapeutic to the pale young man, the passing of trees, people and other cars gave Sasuke an artificial sense of normality and stability that he lacked in his past.

By doing this on a regular basis, the ache Sasuke often experienced would calm down, and fade into a mild throb that'd momentarily disappear on the rare spotting of children playing or walking on the sidewalk. Pain would disappear to be replaced by a sense of loss.

As if something important was gone. Although nothing came to mind to Sasuke since taking down Itachi Uchida was the important goal he had, he couldn't shake off the empty sensation of something having been stolen from him.

But what could it possibly be?

Death had stricken in his family, sweeping away his entire family in the form of his brother.

Then he was thrown into a building of forgotten children which he met…

Eyes narrowed as his thoughts began to intensify, trying to recall something he might have forgotten, it seemed that he was close to remembering the lost piece of memory that unconsciously haunted him.

It had something to do with blue eyes… obnoxious laughter decorated with grime, muddy fingers, something about a fox…

Another flash of orange caught his eyes again, only this time it was an actual person sporting a loose orange shirt with what looked like a friend. Unintentionally, Sasuke found himself staring at the brightly coloured person with great concentration. Those eyes… blue like fire, golden skin with blond hair, and a smile so like a fo-

"Sir, we should begin heading to your school, it's already 7:47 am." The tough voice cut right through Sasuke's concentration, destroying the progress he had made from pulling the pieces of forgotten memories together. Dizzily checking the time, he noticed his driver was right, it was 7:47 am. School started at 8:15 am.

"… Or perhaps you'd like to skip today…?" the driver suggested, his dark green eyes meeting Sasuke's from the front mirror. Sasuke took pleasure on his car rides from the peace it gave to his chaotic mind, but he also enjoyed the intelligent chats he had with his driver as well.

Never judge a book by its cover; the driver had a phd in psychology and studied abroad in Germany for most of his university life, apparently his driver retired after his wife had passed and took on a casual job to give himself a sense of productivity.

These skills always gave the driver the advantage to pick up on subtle hints of Sasuke's mood and often, his thoughts.

Shaking his head softly, Sasuke cleared his head of the unusual confusion. "That won't be necessary. Just turn back to my school."

Wordlessly the driver nodded compliantly and turned the car around with smooth skill.

Gazing out the window again, the orange figure was gone, and the memories he had strung together were no longer present in mind; the only thing Sasuke took special notice of, was that the sharp aches he experienced had diminished.

But he was still at a loss for words.

Something was still gone.

* * *

Dancing passionately to the music down the sidewalk gave Naruto the sadistic pleasure of watching his friend Kiba groan in embarrassment.

"Naruto stop…" The brown haired man begged to save himself from the odd looks people gave them.

The intro was a simple tempo of piano, electro music built up with drums, then the electro music would take on a higher energy which made Naruto break into some odd dance of his head shaking to the rhythm.

**_Met a girl in the parking lot._ **

**_And all I did was say hello._ **

**_Her pepper spray made it rather hard… for me to walk her home._ **

**_But I guess that's the way it goes…_ **

Feet would move themselves to the music as the beat would drop. Naruto would lip sync to the lyrics.

**_Tell me again was it love at first sight_ **

**_When I walked by and you caught my eye!_ **

**_Didn't you know love could shine this bright_ **

**_Well smile because you're the deer in the headlights_ **

Children soon began to gather in bundles of small crowds to watch afar, some even pointing, chubby faces scrunched in amusement as they broke out in shrill giggles.

Kiba glared at the sun and muttered "Why me?" to himself, soon whimpering as he put up with the soft giggles of passing by woman.

Kiba knew it was a mistake to show Naruto Owl City.

Woman were laughing, Children were staring. Everyone was having the best time of their lives all except for Kiba. Naruto, oblivious to his friend's embarrassment continued to dance away to the rhythm, calling more attention with his bright orange sweater that looked like he ripped an orange clean of its skin.

As they reached the end of the street, a classy car had driven by, obviously belonging to one of the filthy rich people of the city.

Naruto didn't notice, but Kiba most definitely did, admiring the paintjob and waxing, the car was a beauty to behold; until he saw the typical classy guy with an air of royalty stare at Naruto with burning intensity that Kiba knew Naruto would have noticed if his idiotic golden haired friend wasn't listening to his music with loud earphones.

The cool stare of the pale man glimmered on momentary amusement, his lips smiling a little as the car drove past.

Feeling the little bit of pride he had left slowly die out, Kiba slumped.

"Naruto I fucking hate you. Now even the rich slobs of the city will hear about what fucking weirdos we are."

Kiba glared at Naruto who wasn't randomly pulling dance moves, he had switched to pelvic thrusting and another young teenage girl had walked briskly forward, only to raise eyebrows and offer a concerned look before she increased the speed of her walk.

Kiba noticed how cute she was with her pale lilac eyes, long dark hair, and shy expression, remembering that his stupid friend was dancing perversely in front of her.

"Naruto would you fucking stop?!" Kiba asked in a tough whisper when he leaned to his friend's ear.

The energetic tanned young teenager pulled off his right earphone and gave Kiba an innocent grin as he spotted his friend's sudden dismayed expression.

Both turned to the left, reaching the bus station that was eight beside a large pine tree. If it wasn't for maps, their bus station would have been easy to miss. Unfortunately for Kiba, the girl turned right and had seemed overly eager to get away from the two strangers.

"What's wrong now Kiba? You jealous I got an iPhone?" he teased with a cheeky grin, his blue eyes largely staring at Kiba.

"No, I was commenting how tiny your ass is to have beaten that rich ass Neji Hyuuga into the ground with those tiny ass sausage fingers of yours." Kiba sarcastically replied, feeling bitter and humiliated.

Returning the scowl Kiba gave Naruto, the bright eyed man gave a half smile and a quirked eyebrow "Someone needs to get laid."

"Fuck you."

"Anytime if you use lube." Naruto replied without shame.

"Shut up. That's just gross." Kiba shuddered with the unwanted imagery. Kiba was fine with the concept of gays, it's just that he wasn't gay, so he didn't enjoy the scene his imagination had conjured.

The sound of smooth car caught the hearing of Naruto's keen ears. Glancing to the side, Naruto saw the expensive car pass by them, the window was a translucent; the face Naruto had caught sight of triggered some sort of warm rush of hear in his stomach.

Familiar narrow eyes that were a smoldering black, marble skin, and an odd hairstyle Naruto associated with a duck's butt.

"…Naruto?"

Jerking his head tightly, he glanced to Kiba's wild eyes.

"What?" he asked, shrugging away the odd feeling of nostalgia.

"Did you remember to bring the bus tickets?" Nervously, Kiba glanced to the bus that was headed to their station.

Slipping a hand into his pocket, Naruto's fingers met his phone's screen, but no tickets.

"I forgot them."

Both looked at each other and said together "Fuck we're gonna be late for school!"


	10. Ethereal

 

**ETHEREAL**

(adj.) Extremely delicate light, not of this world.

* * *

There were never moments where Sasuke had stuck around whenever someone began to cry. The noises were excruciating to deal with, and it always bothered him when his eyes were exposed to a grieving person. A result of attending a public school, Sasuke often found himself with a girl attempting to seduce him with their charm, whether it be breasts or the prospect of sex, it didn't take too long to realize that he preferred intercourse with a male than with a female.

But even with that discovery, he found most men he'd been with were annoyingly clingy, or just boring.

Though Sasuke favoured the quiet and reserved type of company, he wasn't happy whenever he'd date an elegant man, often he'd feel an odd pull to the rugged, excitable men downtown.

Somehow he'd find his signature black eyes linger on waxy yellow hair, that were accompanied with sky blue eyes, but for some unfeasible reason, Sasuke could never bring himself to approach the ones with these characteristics.

But even with all touching, kissing, and loving words, not once did any of his partners succeed in easing the hollowness inside Sasuke.

Although he did meet a woman that eased the pain a little, but not in the romantic way.

Her attitude was comforting to Sasuke, it reminded him of his mother in some ways. Soft eyes that were violet, and dark, straight hair.

Which was why he pushed her away, it was a sign of weakness to depend on someone, besides, he'd only thought of her in a platonic way.

What was amusing, was that he didn't even know her name, which was perfect. Love and companions were meaningless to him.

People were only there to serve as a way to pass time.

Hatred was the only thing he could allow inside his heart, by suffering to the point of depression, his heart could only afford anger as of means to recover.

Getting adopted by equally heartless adults also aided in nurturing the dark void inside him; hence the lack of tears he had at the moment.

Death seemed to enjoy watching over Sasuke's shoulder. Right after he had reached the age of twenty two, both of his guardians died from a drunken argument while one of them stupidly thought it was a good idea to drive when alcohol pulsed heavily in their blood.

Colliding with a large trees, having it fall and crush them. Naturally they were broken like a twig, or so Sasuke quietly mused with mild indifference to their deaths.

Actually he was quite relieved they were gone now. As of the moment, Sasuke only attended their funeral for the sake of publicity, and to get acquainted with his 'parents' partners in business.

Sasuke was starting to regret his decision. All the people surrounding him were disgusting and hateful. Many woman wore bright make up, thick mascara (which was probably waterproof with their staged tears), and resembled a grotesque doll with their muscles fighting against Botox to form a grieving expression.

Men merely shook their heads in loss as to what to do, Sasuke could tell they were only at a loss for what this meant for the economy and how the result of their death would impact their wealth.

A good, rational, human with good morals would naturally cut off such vain people, but Sasuke merely saw this as an opportunity to dive into the new position he had of a powerful company.

The key word was power.

He hadn't made any moves in the business world, but Sasuke was determined to continue going up from this point, he was close to taking down Itachi.

Sasuke could feel his fingers digging into his palms out of eagerness.

When a good two hours passed, many―of not all― of the attended people approached Sasuke with ambitious eyes.

Sasuke accepted some of their offers for his new business, but he sharply dropped the ones he considered useless and deadweight with his heartless words.

If the previous owners of the company set some sort of proper work into the system, they would have easily gone to a higher ranked company with the rich resources they had available.

Already so eager to get his career rolling, he set out to different parts of the country to personally deal with problematic employers, and quickly replaced them with people he deemed 'reliable'.

Trouble always followed after cutting out people from their jobs. It was just a bit of extra problems he could deal with. Though it always left an uneasy hole in his stomach.

Poor fathers and mothers that work to support theory families were the majority of those who lost their jobs. Of course, the media couldn't just turn away from such a scoop.

Sasuke Uchiha, a man of power and money shows no mercy if he is dragged down.

Or so they insisted.

It wasn't that he didn't care for people―well actually, that might have been part of it―he simply accept anything less than talent and determination. Shikamaru was an exception with his unfeasible ability to predict the correct times to release certain products depending on the economy and the stock market, though it was sometimes frustrating to get on contact with him when needed since he was often out of his house without his cell phone, the only excuse he would give was that he was out meeting with some childhood friends.

Normally Sasuke would have told Shikamaru to drop his 'old' friends since they were ordinary and this completely useless to the ink haired man, but when he attempted to slowly bring the topic up, Shikamaru would abruptly send Sasuke a fierce warning through eye contact.

The company was doing extremely well even with Shikamaru's dysfunctional schedule, so Sasuke wouldn't push his luck if it meant risking the loss of valuable asset.

Although Sasuke would be compliant to a request from Shikamaru, socializing wasn't his particular favorite pastime.

"No, I'm afraid attending would be a bit exhausting of the moment." He replied quietly, politely turning him down as he continued to work away at his office.

Shikamaru kept his eyes on Sasuke's busy fingers that typed sharply on the keyboard before he exhaled, sounding close to a disappointed sigh.

"That's too bad." He commented, already used to being turned down since Sasuke was always occupied with work, work, and more work. Shikamaru wondered if Sasuke had a vague understanding of relaxing. Although it did seem like the ebony eyed man did take pleasure out of stylish, fresh suits from Armani, he still looked extremely uptight.

Shikamaru only tolerated the dress expectations since he did want to impress a certain blond lady he knew of.

"I wouldn't call it a loss since I'm not familiar with your friends." Sasuke had made sure to articulate the word 'your' when he spoke.

Shrugging his shoulders, he quietly excused himself to take the rest of the day off.

"Just stop by for once, the café isn't bad, the coffee my friend sells is better than anything I've ever ordered." He quickly added before he closed the door behind him.

Shikamaru wasn't impatient, but after these past years, it would have been a nice sight to see his friend having a good time.

All Sasuke did was snap at anyone who performed a mediocre job before firing them, work till his pale complexion turned pasty, and scowl at the idea of relaxing.

Nodding in acknowledgment to a passing co-worker, Shikamaru made his way to the polished elevator doors, pressing the down triangle once as he waited.

In any case, Shikamaru wouldn't bother Sasuke anymore. For now.

Like his old friend Naruto always said, _Don't give up, just ask again later. Annoy them to death or something._

Maybe once Sasuke reached his goal―whatever it was― he would finally allow himself to introduce himself to the meaning of comfort.

But that's in the far future, so it didn't matter at the moment.

The tall man just wanted a coffee at Choji's café, and catch up with his old friends from the orphanage they all came from.

Kiba and Naruto always had a good story to ease out the stress from work.

Laughter was always the best medicine.

God he hated wearing this suit.

* * *

"So I hear you said something about being bombed in the face with pepper spray?"

The intelligent man asked, an amused smile creeping on Shikamaru's thin face.

The untamed blond head nodded, handing out the napkins in neat folds for the sake of practice since he started being a waiter, clumsiness was the greatest obstacle to overcome.

Boisterous laughter erupted from the café, Choji would normally warn them to tone down the noise but on Fridays he kept the shop extended, but no one really stopped by to buy anything around 10 pm for some unexplained reason, it was their night.

Naruto Uzumaki was happily smiling, showing off a rough smile as he continued to tell the tale of how he met and Kiba met two of their friends in university.

"Like I said! Kiba approached Hirata and got pepper sprayed in the face at the parking lot!" breaking out into boisterous laughter that resonated in people, making the group of friends also join in the laughing.

Passing by civilians caught sight of them from the display windows, finding themselves also smiling from the warm sight of good friends having a wonderful time with each other's company.

"Get off my back! I just wanted to walk her home… I didn't expect I'd scare the chick… I just didn't expect to freeze…" Kiba defended himself in a half embarrassed way, when he began heading towards the pretty girl with long sapphire tinted hair, he never expected to meet eyes with her.

He was caught off guard.

"Yeah, but I ended up watching your jaw drop when you saw her here, you were drooling before I had to come over and save your sorry ass against the pepper. You two might be together now, but she's still skittish."

The golden man replied with dancing blue eyes, he took his cup of iced coffee and sipped quietly to follow up with a belch.

"Say what you want, but you were pounded into the ground by Sakura when you tried to get with her." Kiba roughly shoved him by the shoulder as he stole the iced coffee from his friend's hand to gulp the rest of it.

Shooting a jokingly angry glare "I wasn't beaten into the ground asshole." Passing the emptied glass to Choji, he asked for a refill as he turned back to Kiba.

"I got away with a black eye."

Choji simply chuckled, shaking his head out as he wished he had been there at the time.

Shikamaru never said much, since he enjoyed listening to his friend's banter, their presence already fulfilling enough for him.

"I get the sense I wasn't her type at the time…" the blond added, rubbing his neck softly―a habit he developed since he started painting.

"'At the time'? You still ain't her type!" Kiba howled, taking pleasure that it was his turn to poke fun at his friend.

"Well…even if I was, it's pretty out in the open that sexuality isn't an issue since we broke up." Naruto reminded with humility as he thanked Choji for the refilled iced coffee.

Recently Naruto had the realization hit him that breasts and vagina were not what his body liked when he attempted to look at straight porn, when he gave gay porn a shot, it was like an electrical reaction when he tried it.

Then he compared sex with males to females. Although the feel of a soft body of a woman wasn't unpleasant, he couldn't get sexual pleasure from the soft canal of a woman's body.

With a man, was a whole new story. Naruto found himself enjoying both roles if the bottom and the top when it came to sex, it was different. It was invigorating and sensual to him.

But finding a good man was a whole new story. There were the potentially good partners Naruto had found, but he always ended up breaking things off because depth was missing, he knew his partner had a golden heart, but for some reason the bond never felt passionate enough for Naruto. He just wasn't happy, and it wasn't fair to himself or his lover to continue things from that point.

Love was just a difficult thing.

"…Gay…As a unicorn." Kiba added, reaching for the refilled cup in Naruto's hand.

"Thanks," Naruto sarcastically replied, swatting away Kiba's fingers.

"Come on Naruto! I don't have enough money to buy coffee…" the wilder man whined, slouching at the denial of coffee, Kiba was helping out his family business by caring for the animals, but he was given a low paycheck since his family was rather harsh on money.

"The hell Kiba? You got a job that at least pays you on a schedule." Nudging the man harshly brought out a pout from Kiba "Yeah but I gotta keep my buddy Akamaru healthy and happy!"

Although Kiba did have a good job and friends, Akamaru was his best friend for life despite being a dog, nothing would ever get between keeping his dog content. Unable top deny that keeping Akamaru healthy was a good priority, Naruto gave his coffee to his friend.

The warm atmosphere however was interrupted by a ring that cut through the happy air like a knife.

It had seemed Sasuke had taken the advice to visit the coffee shop. By instinct, Naruto ditched the table of his friends to attend what the blond assumed was a customer, even though the suit he was adorned in spoke of luxury. The café Naruto worked in was modest, though stylish he'd admit, but not to the point to appeal to the rich folk of the city.

Stretching his arms to tighten his apron, Naruto grinned widely, his eyes meeting the charcoal eyed man.

Kiba narrowed his eyes, to him, he got the sense the newcomer was sort of a jerk with the angle his head tilted to the side, his smooth chin held up as if he looked down upon people. Silently he watched with mild indifference to the stranger.

Choji had gotten up to greet the man, but Shikamaru sent a look to his bigger friend _Leave it be. Naruto can handle this._

Confused, Choji only had trust and faith to do as Shikamaru requested. It had seemed Shikamaru wanted to observe the interaction of Naruto and the customer, but Choji couldn't fathom why. Perhaps it was a hunch, or guess, Shikamaru seemed to know the pale man before them.

With enthusiasm, Naruto welcomed their new customer despite feeling a little tired; regardless, he needed the money to pay his bills since Naruto had begun living by himself in search of a friend.

Prepared to say hello he opened his mouth to welcome him, but was cut off by the customer who glanced at paintings on the walls (which Naruto had painted)

"I'll have a coffee with two spurts of sugar free toffee syrup and cream, keep it low on the sugar."

"What…? Oh… uh sure…" Naruto nearly stuttered from the unexpected interruption, unsure if the man before him was just grumpy or an asshole, it was hard to tell with the signs of fatigue on his face.

"Was I not clear? Coffee with two spurts of sugar free toffee syrup and keep. Low sugar." Solid black eyes glared down at Naruto as he repeated with his husky voice, which the blond man noted was quite sexy sounding.

_But still an asshole… Definitely an asshole._ Naruto concluded.

"Make it quick, I don't have much spare time." The customer bitingly added, giving a prudish glare at Naruto.

A little more than annoyed, Naruto could only bite hid tongue and head to the coffee machine.

Pouring some coffee beans to mash into a powder which he effectively placed into the machine that buzzed softly as a signal it was getting ready to extract the caffeine from the beans.

Careful not to burn himself from the hot coffee, he began to mix in the sweeteners and cream as he noted how similar the coffee and the customer were.

Dark eyes and hair… Plus once a person got a taste of them, both were bitter tasting.

Though as tempted as Naruto might have liked for a taste, he wasn't one to fool around with customers, especially if they had a horrible personality.

Taking his sweet time, Naruto had made sure to stretch the time he finished up with the order.

When he returned to the counter, he noticed his cranky customer was no longer standing, instead, he was sitting in Naruto's seat to chat with Shikamaru.

Naruto wasn't much to overreact over little things, but for some reason, the fact that the jackass was sitting in his seat after he rudely demanded for coffee, complaining about how little time he had, when it was obvious that he wasn't busy.

The customer didn't seem to realize where he was sitting (how could he?) when Naruto nearly glared, feeling the bubble of anger beginning to develop. But Naruto also felt surprise, he half expected Shikamaru to ignore the man, or pull a smartass comment, then again, when Naruto gave the situation a proper assessment, both of them shared a taste for classy suits; though Shikamaru was more casual, both brunettes gave off a business air.

It seemed like both knew each other well with how relaxed their conversation was, it was likely they were catching up with each other. By assuming both were good friends that hadn't seen each other in a long time, Naruto already felt his temper cool and dissipate.

He wouldn't get in between two good friends, maybe the rude guy was actually nice and was just having a rough day; he did look rather exhausted.

Approaching the table with the drink in his hand, Naruto flipped his frown into a radiant smile, feeling happier that another friend had seemed to join the group.

Originally, the determined blond had planned on placing the cup on the table **_gently,_** but either because he was tired or clumsy, his own two feet tangled together, accidently launching the hot steaming liquid at Kiba's shirt.

Which wasn't too much of an issue since he had spilled worse things on his friend, but plenty of the coffee had settles itself on the customer's shirt and pants.

Shikamaru was never one to react very much to anything, so when his eyes stretched and mouth parted, Naruto immediately felt himself panicking. Luckily he didn't just stand there like an idiot; he tore off his apron to dab over the customer, hoping the coffee stains would miraculously disappear from the white dress shirt.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" he began apologizing profusely, yelling at himself for not paying attention when he tried to deliver the coffee.

Dark, smoky eyes captured Naruto's attention.

The depth of smoke they had reminded Naruto of the deathly smoke left after a war.

Something intense.

The owner of the fascinating eyes sneered at Naruto "Are you that ill-equipped to do something simple as walking? I'm surprised you could even properly brew a decent coffee with those street hands of yours."

And all of a sudden, Naruto had the itch to hit the man; blinking to himself for a few seconds Naruto took a step forward to glare down at the inconsiderate jerk before him, nearly butting heads "What did ya say pretty boy? I don't speak bitch." He replied with gritted teeth, letting his fatigue and crankiness begin to get the better of him.

Shikamaru took the responsibility to interject before anything violent broke out, while Choji pulled Kiba away from the room when he began cursing because of the scalding liquid he had been splashed with.

Choji tended to Kiba's mild burns at the back with the first aid while Shikamaru watched with interest as the scene played out in front of him.

"Well at least I have the time to care for myself, you're looking in tough shape for the economy, typical for a street loser." Sasuke mused darkly, taunting the blond waiter to lose himself in anger even more.

As Naruto eagerly opened his mouth to reply, Shikamaru cleared his throat which got both of theory attention.

Closing his eyes briefly as he took a deep intake of air to exhale it as a sigh, he looked at his two friends from different worlds that could offer each other the help they needed.

Naruto needed a better paying job to be able to keep his apartment while Sasuke needed a representative artist for his company to enter a competition of other art businesses for a partnered contract with the country's best art organization to extend their business and possibly become a world renowned art supplies company.

Sasuke did say his company was lacking in potential artists, the materials his company provided were good quality, but the problem was he needed more money to branch out more stores outside the company.

Shikamaru knew too well that Sasuke would accept a skilled artist that approached Sasuke, but thankfully Shikamaru intervened and sent all talented ones back before they got to Sasuke.

The problem was, Sasuke only takes skills and abilities into consideration, to win something so competitive, would require someone with untameable imagination, unprofessional, expressive, and determined. Someone like Naruto.

Sitting back a little, he glanced to Naruto and pointed at Sasuke. "Naruto. He'll pay you a good amount of money."

As anticipated, both of his friend's eyes widened as their mouths opened in immediate rejection but Shikamaru only continued, pointing to Naruto and switching his gaze to Sasuke "You need someone with talent, uniqueness, and imagination to win the competition you've been stressing over. Naruto has talent. Unique to the point of being just plain weird, and a imagination of a hyperactive kid."

Dark eyes glared, infuriated with his friend for even thinking that the idiotic mongrel. Where did he even find the courage to suggest such a thing?! Sasuke didn't fucking care at this point whether or not the fair haired man was his friend, besides, could the vulgar man have a chance in winning in one of the world's mo-

Sasuke's train of thought was cut short when he noticed the brightly lit face of the blond waiter, a result from the miniscule compliment from his laidback friend. Sasuke had always received flattering compliments about how beautifully sculpted his body was, in contrast to the minor compliment to Naruto's talent was what halted from Sasuke rejecting immediately.

Shikamaru was never wrong when it came to people and their talents, especially their personality. Naruto's surprised and shy reaction indicated that he was modest when it came to his abilities, which was actually a nice change of pace for Sasuke, though very different and surreal to the onyx haired man, he was left baffled and unsure what to do at that point.

Pursing his lips, the businessman pondered to himself quietly before hesitantly answering for the sake of saving his pride before he looked stupid.

"I'll be happy to accept him as contestant on choosing the representative," Sasuke smoothly suggested without the usual frigid attitude he maintained, which he found rather odd. Slowly his eyes settled on to Naruto disdainfully "Of course I'll be required to view a minimum of three artwork pieces of his to be sure his works aren't of the same level as a five year old girl, I doubt he's worth it though."

Almost lunging forward, Naruto only stood in front of Sasuke, despite being an inch shorter, Naruto could still come across as intimidating to men who were bigger than him. "Repeat that why don't you? Cause I couldn't understand all that bullshit coming out of those princess lips!" intense blue eyes glared at Sasuke.

Nearing rolling his eyes and giving up, Shikamaru pinched both of their facial cheeks to drag them outside the café "Enough you two. Naruto, you can go show Sasuke your paintings at your apartment or choose to let the chance slip by you. Sasuke, you're running out of time and out of all possible choices we have―which are painfully limited―he's your best chance."

Sasuke only glared back at Shikamaru, close to snapping at his co-worker until he remembered that it was odd for his friend to bother suggesting a specific person to him. Was it even possible that the blond buffoon before him was capable of being skilled enough to hold a brush properly?

Carefully evaluating the situation, it hit him that his friend was―unfortunately― right. If Shikamaru went out of his way to suggest that the outspoken man was a good investment, others with good enough sense would place their faith in his judgement.

Already feeling the roots of a headache begin to clench his brain, Sasuke sighed, giving in.

"Alright… As I have said before, he'll be required to be judged equally, in addition, he'll require at least a high school graduate degree, I refuse to accept a delinquent drop out to be a part of my company."

Sasuke's words were sour and painful to Naruto, but he didn't blow up since Shikamaru had pretty much served this golden chance to live an easier life on a plate of silver. Not only that, this would be a good chance to find **him** once again in the vast city of Konoha.

The thought of finding his childhood friend was enough to help Naruto find strength again within himself.

_No matter what happens… I can deal with assholes like this guy… I've gone through worse._ Naruto reminded himself, his head nodding in reluctant agreement.

"Find." His shoulder slumped a little before he gave Shikamaru a quirked eyebrow "But why are we outside the café?"

The mild smile his friend gave told Naruto instantly that his friend was planning something.

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck, resisting the urge to take out his cigarette pack out.

Holding his breath, he exhaled, expecting to feel the tension in his temple unravel, only to be sorely disappointed.

Gesturing with his thumb, he pointed behind him "Naruto lives in the apartment right behind the café." Shikamaru's sharp eyes observed the dark coffee stains that bled into his friend's white shirt.

"And Sasuke can clean out the stains there. You did spill it."

Naruto parted his lips to deny that he spilt it on purpose but the chance was taken away when Sasuke began his journey to Naruto's apartment. Sasuke would not stand wearing dirtied clothing, especially his favoured Armani limited edition set, he just wanted to get this over and done with; spending any more time with Naruto would be teasing his urge to wring his neck.

"Sasuke wait!" the distant voice called out, the rough timbre was almost shiver inducing by how oddly mature it was, though the potential of possibly being sexy was destroyed since the owner of the voice was charming as a piece of festering meat.

Well, maybe that was lie, Naruto wasn't really unattractive; on the contrary his sharp blue eyes were hauntingly beautiful and his smile triggered an odd ache in his chest. But the eyes were what bothered Sasuke the most, they were so clear and open, like windows to something forgotten. Windows to a forgotten past.

None of this was attractive to Sasuke though, deadbeats were useless to him.

_"Sasuke!"_ A shrill voice called behind him, pitch similar of a child; turning his head out of curiously from the sudden call he answered "What…?"

The shine of golden hair sent Sasuke feeling a wave of slight confusion in his cranium when he swore he saw a young child with scrapes and bruises on his skin, mud stained gold hair that stuck up like feathers.

Something inside Sasuke began falling, skin began to clench out of nervousness to end up halting when the image faded before Sasuke could catch a glimpse of the expression before he was left with questions and odd pieces of memory he never recalled before now.

"You turn right not left. Haven't you ever walked on the streets?" Naruto asked with an arrogant grin, his eyes amused at the ebony haired man's poor sense of direction.

Turning right to where he pointed Sasuke sneered at Naruto, shrugging off the feeling of uneasiness that dug in his back "As a person who can actually afford a car, no." he dryly replied.

"Bastard, I was just teasing… So sensitive," Naruto commented as he jogged to catch up until he was by Sasuke's side "I just wanted to make some small talk."

Glancing to Naruto, Sasuke opened his mouth to reply with something biting and cold until his own eyes began to trail up to Naruto's golden hair, his dark eyes remained a little longer at the soften darkened lines of his cheeks, scars from a long time ago.

_Like a fox..._ He absentmindedly concluded before he paced faster.

"The only time I'm willing to be seen with a dead last loser like you is when you've learned to properly manage your hair."

The rest of the walk consisted of Naruto's consistent chatter which Sasuke allowed since whenever Naruto spoke, the childish laughter stopped.


	11. Limerence

**LIMERENCE**

(n.) The state of being infatuated with another person.

* * *

Slowly with the edge of his brush, Naruto glided the red paint over the blue, blending it out with ease, shades of red and blue were evident, slowly transitioning into a deep violet.

At this point, Naruto didn't really know exactly what he was painting, he just worked on a empty canvases to practice colour technique.

All he really wanted out of this session was to ponder over the somewhat daunting and unusual opportunity he had at the moment.

As a painter, this opportunity was a dream most artists would jump on the chance to represent one of the top art organizations in their country, yet Naruto found himself hesitating.

At this point of time, Naruto couldn't afford to be so picky with his options for the purpose of finding solid work so he'd have the chance to meet again with a childhood friend of his despite of the fact that he had nearly forgotten his friend's name and appearance since the coma incident, it just seemed to have fogged his memories.

After careful consideration, Naruto glanced at the business card Sasuke had left on the small table of paint, made up his mind to accept the chance he was given.

Winning was a whole other plan though. In spite of that fact, when Sasuke had arrived in his apartment, the dark eyed man was evidently impressed by the focused observations of Naruto's art that was carefully decorating the walls, so it seemed Naruto still had a good chance.

_Got this far… Can't turn back now._ Naruto reminded himself with thick determination as he collected some yellow after dipping the brush in red to carefully shape a flower on the canvas.

Soon his mind and body focused into his art activity before his mind wandered to thoughts of his father Iruka, childhood friends, and birthdays.

Naruto truly did come a long way since then. In light of the fact that Naruto no doubt lead a hard beginning, he turned out fine if not amazing due to the fact he had been lucky to have Iruka as a good parent.

A smile snuck on his face when he began to recall the best out of plentiful good memories he had with Iruka. Birthdays were always great with cake, presents, and the feeling of a community. Although Naruto was rough and incredibly clumsy with things, the set of _Gutsy Ninja Shippuden_ , frog wallet, and old pajama hat―he didn't wear it anymore but it was too important to throw away―they were the things that slowly made Naruto who he was.

The _Gutsy Ninja_ Series enabled the belief Naruto could achieve any goal by never losing focus of his dream or friends.

The ending however left him feeling muddled a little. The main character had ended up with the shy, pretty girl. It wasn't bad, Naruto had thoroughly enjoyed the entire series, only the ending felt a little… dissatisfying. The main character chased after a friend who was consumed by fierce grief and anger for three years, just drowning in sorrow and darkness, losing himself to it.

Regardless of how many times he was told it wasn't worth it he never stopped pursuing his friend, desiring to save him from himself; eventually after many losses and pain, the main character had reached the ultimate battle to a potential death with his best friend, in the end both survived, but the suffering friend was at peace, the main character had gotten through his heart and fixed their bond. Only to end with a brief reclining of friendship, but had soon parted ways again, an epilogue followed and revealed that the two close friends had grown apart as adults with wives who had lost their character development.

To be honest, Naruto would have preferred if they had both died together.

The man consumed with darkness could only be saved by the bright, heroic main character because the protagonist never gave up on his unbeatable faith that his best friend could be a good person no matter what. Heroic and sincere, the hero was more than prepared to die with his suffering friend. Both were willing to throw away their dreams and aspirations for each other. The dark character knew this, and found his heart accepting the idea of dying along the hero who was his best friend, the only one who could ever stand in his way of rebuilding the world by destroying it.

Of course if the finale had been death, Naruto would without a doubt have cried from the long novel series, but the idea didn't bother him, he would have approved of the way things ended, it would have been their legacy.

He continued his painting until his arm began to ache from overuse, washing his brush in water and setting it down on towel paper. Wiping his hands on his old jeans of the water left on his hands, Naruto got to his feet, hearing his knees crack from the sudden transition from sitting to standing.

_Time to shower…_ The mirror offered Naruto a clear view of different shades of blue, and orange dried on the tips of his bangs and cheeks.

Stripping away the dirty clothes, Naruto noticed how dark it was out from his window, it must have been pretty late by the lack of people gliding down the grayed streets with their loud footsteps and chatter.

Naruto didn't need to worry though, because he had the day off tomorrow, and would need to make a call to Shikamaru for a proper explanation for what had happened in the café earlier, and who was the new stranger exactly.

Something about the stranger passed Naruto off beyond comprehension, which was a quaint reaction, the blonde could barely remember a time when he lost his cool so quickly with someone he had the displeasure to meet.

One of the pet peeves Naruto had was running water. He absolutely hated and despised the idea of leaving running water because of environmental issues, on the odd side, he found cold water triggering of old shards of the past when he nearly died in the icy river as a child, but he refused to forget of such memories―They were the last moments he had spoken with his best friend.

Stepping under the showerheads, Naruto twisted the knob to the heat and pulled, cold water punching his skin.

Under the frigid running water, Naruto tightly shut his eyes, recalling the dark sky of that night. Snow fell gently like cotton balls, calmly soothing him when he passed out during that winter night.

Opening them slowly, the momentary memory had faded quicker than last time as the temperature transitioned to a warm spray of water.

Frustration built up, Naruto sighed a little in disappointment, and acceptance of his dilemma.

_No use tonight…_ At night, Naruto would attempt to recall the memories of his near death incident; memories were clear and realistic though little by little each time, the details blurred, faces and voices disappeared. The crumbling memories were alarming to Naruto, because it wasn't just memories that were slowly dissipating, it centered around his best friend.

Moving on with his life would have been a simple process Naruto could accept, it was a contrary situation if he was forgetting his memories with his first friend. Naruto believed―understood that his determination resulted of being saved from years of isolation and pain, to forget the reason for his brighter future was unacceptable.

Naruto would find his friend one more time. To say his gratefulness, and if his friend truly refused to be friends, then at least he'd be able to properly say a farewell this time and end things with a clean conclusion.

* * *

Couple of days passed by, close to a week. Not much turbulence or adventure occurred in Naruto's typical but refreshing days in the city.

Work at the café from the morning till 4 in the somewhat late afternoon. The next two hours were dedicated to giving art lessons to young adolescents in a program he had been hired in due to Shikamaru's suggestion, which was an extreme help since extra money increased the availability to buy healthier foods. Don't get Naruto wrong, he loved Ramen almost as much as he loved sex, but he knew it was vital to maintain a balanced diet with indulgences.

Then the rest of the evening was up to Naruto's mood. Sometimes of he was frisky, he'd spend the night at a club for a night of sexual endeavours. When calm, he'd pick a book of _The Gutsy Ninja: Ramen edition_ which was always good for a heartfelt grin or a grieving moment of tears.

On lucky nights, he'd feel inspired to impulsively slap on wet paint on anything he felt suitable.

Tonight was one of the rare ones, only he was interrupted as he began stippling dots on the canvas by the bring cell phone ring. A clean finger slid horizontally to receive the call as the phone found itself pressed near his mouth and ear.

"Hello?" he automatically asked, drained and a little on the cranky side from the earlier day, filled with chaos and panic.

"You know that the last day if auditioning is tomorrow." Arrogance and shades of irritation had been laced around the smooth tone.

"I know that." He snapped, gliding his hand into his locks of gold, accidentally smudging the thick oily paint into his hair out of habit.

"Why haven't you contact me earlier? Do you even have a prepared resume?" Sasuke nagged with clear irritation, the muffle against the speaker told Naruto that Sasuke had the phone pressed against his face.

"Maybe I forgot." Naruto confessed with mild embarrassment, he never did keep well with schedules.

"Then you better make a note to thank Shikamaru."

"What? Why?" Naruto dropping his hand, placing it on his hip, tilting his head to the right a little.

"Due to his ability to predict your screw ups, he faxed me your resume along with other notable experiences."

"What 'other' experiences?"

"We can discuss the details if you can come out at the top of everyone else participating. Though with your sloppiness, I highly doubt you'd make top fifty. You must be at the scheduled address at 11 am sharp, arrive late and you're disqualified. Bring whatever you need to properly display your skill." There was a _'clink'_ after his warning, notifying Naruto he hung up.

"Slick bastard thinks he's so fucking classy with his suit and hair. What a fucking joke." The blonde growled under his breath, tossing his blue phone on the coach softly, only for it land oddly and slide to the ground with barely any sound on the carpet floor.

Sighing a little, Naruto approached the phone and his fingers began to pick it up from the side.

Under the couch, Naruto's forefinger had brushed up against something wooden. Curious, Naruto switched from crouching to going on his stomach, his head turned to see what he might have dropped. By sliding his arm in to scoop out the hidden objects, Naruto had found two wolf spiders―which he grudgingly admitted he screamed since they carried babies on their bodies― a rotting piece cheese, some strands of yarn, and a decrepit wooden brush with a messy symbol painted over the fading one.

Staring at the brush, Naruto beamed, his heart relieved that he hadn't lost it. As a genius of losing things, Naruto never lost the hairbrush he was been given for his birthday as an orphan. It wasn't given by Orochimaru or Iruka; it had been his old friend from the original pace he had been brought up in.

Staring at the chipped relic, Naruto found his mind wandering. Promised had been made to keep pushing forward, to find a lost friend of a lonely memory. Naruto just wanted a friend as a kid, just one. But he wasn't allowed the luxury of companionship because of a stained life.

Then when his friend came, everything changed, he finally had meaning to keep living, pursuing a future that seemed brighter than before.

But separated now, Naruto didn't feel satisfied with just this. Yes, he was happy like his dream had been, but what about his friend? Was he doing alright? Or was he suffering too like Naruto had?

The possibility of this bothered Naruto.

Holding the brush firmly in his fingers, he contemplated with slight wonder what his lost friend might have been up to. Talking with friends, working, or maybe he was looking for Naruto too?

Naruto cynically chuckled to himself. _Not possible._

Soon after a moment, the brush was placed gently on the drawer in his room. Settling himself into bed, Naruto dosed off, dreaming of foggy whispers of the past.

* * *

Slowly, his eyelids fluttered open, vaguely remembering his dream's words. Something about irony and a road of mild displeasure. Feeling the strands of grogginess unwind from his limbs, he sat up, glancing at the digital alarm clock.

**9:28 am** The clock expressed. Falling back into his plush bed, Naruto puzzled his pillow on his stomach. As an excitable adult, Naruto took ten minutes after waking up to lie in his covers as his brain woke up which helped him get out of bed with bouncing energy for the day.

However, Naruto found it challenging to escape his bed when he bore in mind that he had to face Sasuke and have his art mocked. But then maybe he was wrong, Shikamaru didn't seem to have a problem with Sasuke, so contrary to Naruto's initial impression, Naruto would give Sasuke the benefit of doubt.

After the fatigue from sleeping wore off, Naruto shot out of bed and vacated the soft yellow bed to approach his bright orange bathroom.

Shortly after he cleaned up, brushed his teeth, and ate, Naruto got right to choosing the right colors to bring when he got to―Naruto took the business card and glanced at the address― Jackson Street 19.

Art was a tricky thing for Naruto, it depended on his mood and inspiration that created his artwork. Naruto debated whether he bring oil paint just to piss Sasuke off with the constant waiting for it to dry, stretching it for weeks until he was done.

Laughing at the idea of it, Naruto shook his head 'no' to himself and settled with acrylic paint; the place where he started and found relatively easy and comfortable.

He took the primary, secondary, black, and white paints with him.

By the time he had his paints packed and ready, it was already 10:30.

"Shit…" he cursed to nobody in the room. Throwing on his old shirt and jeans, Naruto reached for his green jacket he had received as a gift from his eccentric friend Rock Lee—whom has an obsession with rich green.

Luckily for Naruto, it had seemed because of the damp weather, not many people were out, so his taxi led a smooth drive across town, the only lively creatures in the roads were children and teenagers bearing neon colours.

A boy with a spiky bunch of blond dreadlocks—half shaved off—was bursting into song and dance, right beside what looked to be his friend. She had dark eyes and red hair tied into a bun. Her expression spoke loudly of embarrassment and irritation with the way her hand was covering the side of her face from his view, and her quickened pace.

_Heh, I almost feel bad for what I put Kiba through when we walked to the bus stop…_

Finding laughter escape from his throat, bursts of light spread in his chest by the pleasant flashback of his teen years. Those years were the blossoming years of Naruto's confidence.

Meeting friends. Making enemies. Making friends out of enemies. Occasionally making Enemies out of friends.

Just being around that many people at his age was amazing.

Reminiscing in his past found him already at his stop.

Here to

The taxi driver with a sore throat grunted "Yer stop kid."

"I'm not a kid." He corrected, handing the twenty dollar bill(with an extra 5 dollars as a tip).

Snorting, the taxi driver shoved the money in his pocket. "Sure ye are. You're still young and kicking," the wrinkles in the grey eyed man thickened as he scowled, pulling the muscles like cardboard.

"Take care old man." Naruto replied, giving a smile and a encouraging pat on his shoulder before throwing on his backpack and began to lunge at the large company skyscraper.

"Stupid kids these days." Was the last thing Naruto heard from the elderly man before his focus was on the tall building.

Pushing through the glass door, Naruto was ready to ask the receptionist for directions since he arrived early and didn't want to take the chance of getting lost (He was shitty at directions). Instead he was attacked by complete strangers.

A women with wavy hair tied into a sock bun scowled at Naruto as she grabbed his left arm. "What are you doing here so late? The whole documentation started twelve minutes ago!"

"Sorry… I thought I was in ti- Wait, 'documentation'?" Naruto paused "I think there's some misunde-"

"Doesn't matter now, just hurry into the elevator and you can begin stripping." The pushy bald man said, with his circle sunglasses, grabbing his other arm, working with the tall lady to drag him to the elevator.

"What?! Listen baldy, I am not here for whatever you think I am here for!" fumed Naruto, jerking his arms when they began to tug off his shirt.

Both chose to ignore his pleas and when Naruto looked up to witness the horrifying gleam in their eyes, he nearly gave up resisting.

"Listen lady, I am not some enthralling nudist or dancer, or stripper, or whatever you think I am. I'm here for the artist audition!" he hollered, finding long awaited relief when their grip loosened, circulation returning in his limbs as realization dawned on their faces.

The impossibly strong lady turned to the bald man and began arguing about who was at fault for their current dilemma of a missing nude model.

Grabbing his jacket and bag, Naruto sprinted down the hall out of desperate need to escape the crazy pair of workers.

After a couple of seconds of successfully getting away, Naruto found himself grinning out of the absurd situation he was in, chuckling to himself again.

_Crazy maniacs…_

* * *

As a man of business, Sasuke was punctual and organized when it came to work and meetings.

The current time was 11:02 am. Naruto was late.

_Does he even realize time is liquid gold? He was useless after all._

"Are you sure we are having someone come in today? It seems they're not here yet." Neji Hyuuga questioned with his distant lilac eyes and frigid tone.

"Apparently no." Sasuke grudgingly answered, irritated that Neji—his business partner—was attempting to place the blame of the situation on him. "…Pass me the resume." Neji abruptly requested with an empty tone, surprising Sasuke that he hadn't left. Just like Sasuke, Neji was a man of pride and ambition, only not as insensitive as Sasuke.

Both classy men had attended the same schools, creating an unspoken agreement that they'd stick together to benefit one another.

Curious to see the reason behind the request, Sasuke slid the resume in front of Neji.

Elegant fingers slid over the folder with "Naruto Uzumaki" written at the front.

For a second, the solid block of lilac had melted into something warm and welcoming when his fingers flipped the files open, bringing out a mild smile from Neji—which was rare.

"Something amusing?" Sasuke questioned with a slight quirk of his eyebrow and a mild frown of disapproval in Neji's taste.

Almost immediately, the pools of pale violet froze solid once again when they met Sasukle's dark gaze. "Perhaps. Why?" the tight jaw and tilt of the head dared Sasuke to push further and ask.

"…Nothing, I was simply curious." It wasn't Sasuke's business, besides, he didn't like getting involved in personal matters. No matter how strong his curiosity was, if he involved himself he'd end up getting close with Neji would result in complications in the future.

"Sasuke!" A voice called out, echoing slightly as the back door finally reveal a rather messy looking blond.

Wrinkled clothing, messed hair, and a slightly worn bag presented itself at the front.

"Naruto what the hell are you wearing?" Sasuke growled, feeling infuriated and embarrassed. Shikamaru had approved of Naruto, which Sasuke stupidly accepted without much proper thought which led him looking like the idiot of the situation. Convincing Neji to come an extra day was a mistake, Sasuke had wanted to show off the 'amazing' new artist he had found to Neji, but instead found himself humiliated.

"What a nice way of asking what happened." Naruto sarcastically greeted with a faint glare, grinning at Neji with his friendly smile. Already close to being done with the situation, Sasuke rubbed his temple with his right hand that was propped up by the table and gave in "What happened?" He groaned.

Taking a deep breath Naruto dropped his bag and began to take out some paints "Well since you asked so nicely, I'll explain. First when I arrived, your workers began stripping me."

Sasuke had his cup of green tea to his lips and passing down his throat before he choked on it, some escaping into his nostrils. Disgusted with himself for not having better control over himself, Sasuke grabbed for the tissues to blow his burning nose.

"Then you're coworkers began to argue when they realized their mistake and I ran over here, which I got lost for about…" Naruto glanced at his wrist for a moment, the silver piece of metal around his wrist was a watch.

"…fifteen-ish minutes. So that's why I'm late… So um…" Naruto shuffled his feet awkwardly, fiddling with the edge of his shirt with nimble fingers.

"What do you exactly want me to do?"

"Paint." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Where?" Blue eyes were swirling in confusion.

"On the floor."

"You're kidding me."

"Just do it."

Glaring, Naruto found his fingers digging into his damp bag for the paints and palette board, along with some paintbrushes he had already packed prior.

"Do you know him?" Sasuke asked in an accusing whisper at Neji since the way Neji carried his eyes and body when it came to Naruto seemed almost too eager and affectionate towards the blond. Last time Sasuke checked, Neji wasn't fond of blonds or anyone that wasn't high class.

If Neji had some kind of affection to Naruto, he would immediately be informed. Sasuke was determined to not lose his chance of coming at on top during the actual competition, Neji wouldn't be allowed to have equal say if he favored Naruto out of the rest.

"Yes." Neji answered softly, his eyes softly stroking Naruto's figure, as if afraid he'd disappear.

"Where?"

"High school."

"What school?"

"FireBridge."

Getting irritated with the one word replies, Sasuke began to take his demanding tone up a notch.

"Neji." He gave a cold glare, his tone a stream of ice, becoming irritated with the avoidance of his question.

Liliac eyes tore themselves from Naruto to return the cold gaze. For the brief moment, Neji examined Sasuke's wrinkle expression of displeasure.

"He's the man I've been searching for the past years."


	12. Iridescent

**IRIDESCENT**

(adj.) producing a display of rainbow-like colours.

* * *

A smudge of calm blue around the edges of the image, soft strokes of pink that were loving.

Red streaks angrily scribbled at the top, letting it drip like blood.

A burst of orange at the center, highlighted by yellow and black, creating a firework of the sun and the night sky.

Each streak elegantly curved thinly and widely around the orange.

Delicately clashing the spirited colours to make it burst with contrasting emotions from a steady hand, sweating back, and focused eyes.

Dragging out mixtures of the colours to form new emotions with each stroke of the brush he held; carefully etching in his emotions and experiences, making every detail reflect a piece of his past.

Hate, love, loneliness, friendship, loss, happiness.

Pain.

These were the emblems of Naruto's life, the roots of what made him stronger.

At first, he was just lonely, then resentment moved in with the loneliness which started a flame of hatred.

Friendship was what came next, extinguishing the hatred with a softer fire, something akin to gentleness; Soon that sanctuary was torn away from him, leaving a scar.

Everything went back to its original monotony, but somewhat brighter than before that hatred was no longer flourishing in him, but loneliness was still there, making the pain remain. But then Iruka came to Naruto with a smile and a wordless promise, giving life to the hope Naruto believed to be dead.

Iruka Umino was the one who offered Naruto a house and a family, the one who guaranteed and succeeded in providing growth, warmth, and guidance Naruto required to properly flourish as an adult.

Naruto was born in a dark abyss, made of malice, contempt, neglect, and pain.

There was never was a way out for him, the only choice he ever had was to tolerate the pain, or choose to die. Death almost did get to Naruto, just barely touched him, waiting to see if Naruto truly desired to pass on to the afterlife, he was so close, but pulled away when he felt the presence of his friend calling him, begging him to not give up.

By the time he awoke from the mindless sleep, the voice was gone, and so was the owner.

If it wasn't for his best friend, Naruto was doubtless that he wouldn't still be alive and breathing if his friend hadn't given him a sense of purpose. So many years, he was alone.

His best friend came and went, giving Naruto the taste of a bright future before disappearing. Iruka came with a different kind of future, a solid, warm family. Determined not to be left behind, Naruto clung to the second chance to escape the jail of darkness. Guided and assured throughout the whole walk, always told that he would be alright.

He transitioned from being carried by Iruka, to walking side by side, holding hands tightly, loosely holding hands, no longer touching but still side by side, until finally they reached the end.

It was a contrast to Naruto's life before. The world was white. Blank. Iruka was no longer there anymore.

But Naruto wasn't frightened, he had been guided, taught, and aware of what was at the end of his scary journey by Iruka. There was nothing to be afraid of, because Naruto was ready for the world; Iruka had given him what he needed to live contently with nothing to regret.

Iruka passed the will of fire into Naruto's soul. Each step Naruto had taken, created detailed scenery around himself; the details were beautifully created, but lacked colour and life. Every time Naruto spoke, sang, danced, or drew, colours and music would bloom around him.

With this gift, Naruto touched the lives of people he cared about, encouraging them to pass on the will of fire.

Some he never saw again, but felt satisfaction that they'd be happy in the end regardless.

Yes, the harsh reality he grew up with hardened tiny parts of his heart, but he was always open when it came to his feelings and thoughts, which was why he wasn't angry about anything of his past, in fact, it made him empathetic, able to bond with people because he understood the unwanted feelings he felt as a child.

Which was why art had appealed to Naruto immensely. Art was never mainstream. Always taking different forms, images, colours, and colours; it was different, able to capture a story only to leave viewers the pleasure to comprehend the depth of it, leaving them to interpret the story however they liked.

Art must be unique to be remembered.

Naruto took art as a chance to create something for himself and others, to share the journey of meeting life changing people, how he found the will to live on, to survive because he made it this far and refused to give in to his pain.

Time was never something Naruto was conscious of, so when he had finished painting everything he valued to the smooth floor, Naruto had ended up taking a good two hours.

Grinning from ear to ear, Naruto took one last glance of his work.

It was the night sky, clouds lightly sewn besides the elegant, white moon, stained by dripping red. Pink illuminated from the moon, the center, a bursting flower blooming from the moon and sun.

Together the day and night created a flower.

Turning around, Naruto wasn't surprised to see Sasuke's smothering eyes narrowed in disinterest; what Naruto did find surprising was the man beside Sasuke.

He looked familiar, pale lilac was an uncommon eye colour.

It was obvious the man was the same class as Sasuke, so it was rather surprising for Naruto to find the lilac eyes encouragingly looking at him.

"So uh…" Naruto's eyes returned back to Sasuke since out of the two, he knew Sasuke better.

"What do you think?"

Sasuke sucked his teeth a little as he took another thoughtful glance at Naruto's resume.

"You're skills are satisfactory. Says here you're an art major… However what I'm looking for is absent, so let me ask one thing." Sasuke's fingers intertwined, his elbows perching up on the table as his head tilted upwards in a mocking manner.

With cold steel eyes, Sasuke asked "Why haven't you entered in art shows? You obviously display fair skills."

Shrugging a little, Naruto gave a half smile "Never seemed important to me, I guess I never had a good enough reason to participate in stuff like that."

"What changed?"

"One, I need a better income. Two, I have someone I have to find cause I owe him everything."

Stopping a short moment, Sasuke turned to give Neji a disbelieved expression for Naruto to have such simple and strange reasons.

"Which of the two is the primary reason for this change?"

"Second."

Sasuke sucked in his lips, chewing slightly on his bottom lip.

"Never changes…" Neji chuckled softly under his breath.

Shortly glancing at Neji, Sasuke found the words uttered by his partner perplexing. It seemed Neji knew Naruto, obviously in a romantic sort of way, whether or not this was a mutual feeling on Naruto's part, was left unknown. Sasuke debated and deemed Neji with his dewy eyes.

Sasuke couldn't afford for Neji to screw up, it looked like it was time for Sasuke to take it upon himself to decide if Naruto was worth anything to Sasuke's ambition.

Naruto was far too carefree to comprehend what kind of world Sasuke lived in.

_Gullible._ Sasuke labeled.

Sasuke wasn't so impudent to deny Naruto contained a potential skill.

_Untrained potential, what a waste._

But it wasn't too late to hone and nurture this talent, Sasuke had the best of the best to provide planning and lessons.

"Tell me, what makes you different from the rest of the participants? What makes you unique?" the words echoed in the room softly.

For a moment, Naruto looked bashful, unsure and self-conscious.

Shifting his weight between his feet, Naruto chuckled lightly, before he finally shrugged off all insecurities, showing off a bright smile.

"I won't lose. That's a promise."

Unimpressed Sasuke pressed on with questions, narrowing at Naruto's ordinary smile.

"Promises are weak if they're based solely on petty words. How can you be so confident that you'll be the one to succeed?"

Unwavering, Naruto continued with his bright eyes, tilting his head up to meet Sasuke's dark contrasting eyes, the light shining through Naruto's eyes, creating a cobalt glow.

"I never go back on my word. This whole test of ability is for the sake of something substantial for you right? It's just as serious for me, what makes you think you can exceed my expectations?" Naruto asked with a grin, provoking Sasuke to feel a hint of amusement.

"Cheeky." He commented. The grin widened, white teeth beginning to reveal which sparked something in Sasuke's chest.

"You're dismissed." Sasuke quietly confirmed, his calmed expression hardened when Naruto had refused to move. "Naruto."

"Geez, fine…" the cheeky man huffed, gathering his paints, rolling up his brushes with a towel before he headed out the exit.

Unexplainable as it was, the lights appeared to dim gently, like the sun had stepped out, the lightbulbs achieved a mediocre job of maintaining the life left by Naruto's presence.

When Sasuke turned to Neji, he was out of site, Sasuke took the lucky guess his friend had gone to catch up with Naruto.

Neji's personal life was not Sasuke's business, Neji held an understanding of separating personal and professional issues, which Sasuke had faith Neji could handle matters by himself.

Not like Sasuke cared.

Not really.

* * *

Almost surreal. Trembles of excitement was built up inside of Neji, as he approached Naruto with an eager stride. The tiny chance of the silhouette fading out of Neji's grasp was terrifying, his nightmare come true.

"Naruto." He calmly called, his hand finding comfort in settling on the broad shoulder of the painter. That this person was real, today was real. The search was over.

"Hmmm?" Naruto stopped, caught off guard by the sudden contact of an unknown stranger. Turning his body with a slow step, Naruto's expression instinctively twisting a shade happier to be called on.

Neji took a quick intake of air before clearing his throat almost nervously.

Almost.

"It's been a while."

"Pardon?" the expression shifted to mild confusion.

"Apologies, there's been a considerable amount of time since we last saw one another. Roughly seven years since we last conversed. You were fifteen and I was sixteen."

For the next passing seconds, Neji's excitement drowned in panic that Naruto had forgotten with the prolonged confusion evident in Naruto's face.

Neji could never forget that time in the rain. It was after Neji had nearly lost everything when he had been disowned for being gay by his prejudice family. The scenery was still freshly painted in his mind, raindrops that faintly contained the odour of grease, mild burn in his chest as his heart plummeted and shattered into a broken heart, sending the agony of rejection through his nerves like a needle. After all the time he spent with his uncle who had taken him under his wing after his father's unfortunate passing, Neji had thought his uncle would have accepted him when he had chosen to admit his homosexual nature.

There was nothing wrong being attracted to the same gender. Nothing.

But the rejection ruined that solid belief Neji carried inside himself.

Afterwards, Neji began to heal. He had been a mess, but he composed himself with hardened grace, closed off from his family as he constantly was reminded he must repress his urges for the same gender if he were to be allowed back in his family. With frigid acceptance, he complied.

His heart no longer in shambles. Just a patched up glass heart, crumbling with every passing year.

No one questioned the sudden change in Neji, nor why he seemed to have lost aura of warmth. Neji preferred the distance he had with other people, especially with his pampered, naïve, and childish cousin, Hinata Hyuuga.

A logical man could understand that Hirata had nothing to do with Neji's rejection of her father, but to ease the sharp pain, he'd lash out on her with every failure she achieved, provoking her to give up before trying anything.

Then one thing led to another.

Hinata had been walking one day to her high school, passing by two eccentric boys around her age that were dancing and arguing. After a few minutes, they ran up to her and had asked for a bus ticket. One couldn't have expected this would lead Naruto and Kiba becoming close friends with his cousin.

Naruto being the wonderfully idiotic brute, didn't appreciate the way Neji harassed Hinata, fiercely defending her when Neji nearly slapped her.

The beating Naruto gave was unrestrained if not overwhelming. Neji couldn't move for a good two days after being punched into the cold dirt, numb from pain, feeling the odd sensation of satisfaction, that Neji had needed the feeling of physical pain to remind Neji he was still alive.

Naruto knew what he was doing, he was beating some sense into Neji's close minded life, that Neji didn't need the approval of anyone to be happy; Neji had all the roads to happiness before him, able to take any route and succeed with joy as a prize, unlike Naruto that started off as a failure, with nothing, having to work hard to maintain any strength.

"Wait…" the blue eyes scrunched in concentration, darkening from the golden lashes blocking any light from shining through his eyes.

Carefully thinking to himself, Naruto's face brightened in realization, turning to Neji with an expression that eased the nerves that knotted in his stomach.

"Shit. No…" Naruto shook his head, but the smile that plastered itself on his face spoke words of excitement.

"Good to see we're on the same page."

Naruto reached out and hugged Neji. Muscles flexed to give a tight embrace which caught the refined man by surprise, though he did enjoy the body that leaked from Naruto's body.

"Can't believe I didn't recognise you! Your eyes shoulda been a dead giveaway for me! Its been decades since I last saw you. How have you been?" he pulled away with kind eyes, relieved that Neji had changed, he was obviously still a bit uptight, but there was a sense of satisfaction in Neji with the way the gentleman's eyes and body were relaxed and calm.

Slightly disappointed by the cease of body warmth, Neji mustered an agreeable smile "Correct, its been too long Naruto, I don't place blame though, I have changed."

"I'll say, you look great." He grinned.

Slightly flustered, Neji nodded in modesty, which was rare since Neji wasn't unaware of how attractive he was, he knew he was the perfect refined gentleman of the up upper class with his graceful charisma and charm. But Naruto was the expressive, unrestrained charming, just absolutely stunning with his golden skin and radiant smile, followed by ocean eyes that reflected his personality; unpredictable, beautiful, and dangerous.

"Thank you." He accepted easily, covering his slight embarrassment with his usually expression of confidence before he recalled something he had wanted to say for many years.

Stepping forward, Neji breathed deeply "Naruto, I want to say thank you for the past, the last time we had met."

As expected, confusion carved itself on Naruto "You mean the time I pummelled you into the dirt?"

Chuckling under his breath, Neji nodded again before continuing "You helped change my viewpoint. When you left me after you had won, I stayed there thinking of everything you uttered and did to soon realize how much I must have been the fool for the world to laugh at."

Surges of encouragement filled Neji's blood, his heartbeat thumping heavily, building for the confession.

"Naruto I owe you for helping me realize-" However Neji was unfortunately cut off by Naruto trying to be modest.

"You don't owe me anything." He told, suddenly serious, his eyes met Neji's in an intense gaze.

"Every action back then was out of impulse. I went with what I thought was right. Don't feel obligated to give something back."

Heeding his words, Neji accepted Naruto didn't want anything back, instead Neji quietly asked "Would you acknowledge the both of us as close acquaintances?"

"If you mean becoming friends with you, then yeah, I'd love to."

Exhaling in relief, Neji allowed himself to smile. "Thank you."

The moment after, it was slightly awkward, not necessarily bad, but still stiff. Luckily, Naruto was never one to keep quiet over things, especially of it was centered on a positive topic.

"Listen, I gotta head out to my part time job, you up for a night out at Ichiraku next week?"

Almost top eagerly, Neji accepted Naruto's offer. "Sounds pleasant, would your offer happen to be for Saturday?"

"Yep, if you're busy we can reschedule."

"No. It's perfectly fine. What time?"

Naruto gave the thought careful consideration, his shift ended at 7pm, but acknowledging the phenomenon of life giving Naruto a hard time in traffic, Naruto decided to be generous with time.

"Eight pm sounds good for me."

"It's settled then." Neji concluded, gleeful that he had reunited with his old friend, and possibly love.


	13. Aleatory

**ALEATORY**

(adj.) Relying on chance or an uncontrolled element on the details of life or in the creation of art.

* * *

" _I've always been alone."_

" _Always."_

_A voice cut through twelve year old Naruto's dark thoughts._

" _Your face looks constipated, what'd you do now blockhead?" The ebony eyes stared at Naruto with annoyance._

_Sasuke._

_The insult had infuriated Naruto out of his depressing moment, but in a way the arrogant, ebony eyed boy in front of Naruto was able to push Naruto out of his darkness. He would push Naruto to make something of himself, either it be a fool or an eager child._

_He was a miracle to Naruto. He made Naruto get up on his own feet, stand up to Sasuke. To build up the will to never back down on Sasuke. Naruto proved to himself and everyone that he was in fact, strong. Of course, Naruto would never admit this to Sasuke. His friend's ego was already bulging._

" _What do you want?!" Naruto snapped irritatingly at Sasuke, clutching at his shirt on anger, trying his best not to punch Sasuke. Unfortunately, today was not a day where Naruto wanted to talk with Sasuke._

_Dispirited eyes looked at the attractive dark ones. Naruto looked away and dropped his head and eye sight to his feet. All of a sudden he felt something small, hard, and light rebound from Naruto's forehead._

_A sharp pang intensified and spread on Naruto's throbbing forehead, Naruto lifted his hand to rub the tender, now red, skin. Sasuke had flicked him in the forehead_

He jerked his head up, annoyed.

" _What the hell was that for?" he grumbled. Sasuke brought out an object that had been in hidden behind his back in secret. He brought his slender arm down in a sharp motion and Naruto felt a section of his hair being yanked sharply, pain followed around a patch of his head._

_Naruto let out a yelp of surprise from the pain, hands instinctively following the object that was knotted in his golden, knotted, hair. His fingers carefully trailed along the objects smooth surface, careful not to cause more pain, he gently felt the curves and felt it was something plastic and had a handle attached to something round._

_His hair was entangled in rows of something plastic. He switched from pulling to lifting the object out of his hair with ease._

_A hairbrush?_

_He looked up at Sasuke, Naruto was confused beyond belief. Wait._

_Was Sasuke implying that Naruto was girl? That basta-_

" _Your hair looks like a bird's nest that got hit by lightning. Brush your hair, can't you manage that much?" Sasuke smirked, though Naruto no longer felt irritation in himself when Sasuke began to walk away._

" _That's rich coming from a guy who spends more time in the mirror only to look like the ass from a duck." He retorted. Only for Sasuke to keep walking to raising his arm to flash his middle finger at Naruto, calling forth a beaming grin from Naruto, his amusement rose from Sasuke's hand gesture._

_He wouldn't admit this to anyone but himself, but he was happy with how Sasuke had thought about him._

_That someone acknowledged him as a human being._

_But even the brush did nothing for taming Naruto's disorderly blond hair._

_The thought counts._

Even now his hair looked the same.

It was the reason he kept it the way it was, despite it being unprofessional looking, he wanted to preserve the memory he had first received something from his friend.

Stubborn as his personality, the hair refused to stray from being its radiant gold, and untamed hair, as if it were also keeping the memory of his close friend.

Naruto woke up from his dream, a memory. The moment he wakes up, the face and name of the dark haired boy began to blur from memory.

He'd curse in frustration for not grasping the memory fast enough before it faded, he wanted something to go on, or specific details that would help him find the boy who encouraged by Naruto to become stronger.

Nothing would come to mind.

All Naruto knew was that the boy, who would be a man now, had dark black hair, smothering eyes, and pale skin.

The problem with living in the 21st century was that hair could be a different colour, and he might be tanned now, piercings could greatly change a person's look. All of these factors are able to change. Not to mention his friend might have a tattooed face, which would've been awesome but difficult to identify.

Hell, Naruto did not even know how tall the boy could be.

Naruto's ears perked up at the low ticking that was being registered in his head. His eyes glanced at the clock to figure the time.

The clock struck 5 o'clock at late afternoon. Naruto immediately stretched his sore arms for stupidly sleeping on his desk, which was covered with wet paint, luckily it was oil so it hadn't dried. He should not have watched that many horror movies last night, he ended up paranoid all night and settled on to painting to keep himself up before he passed out at 7 in the morning.

Still half asleep, his eyes found its way to the view outside the clear window. There was a sun set which captured Naruto's attention, pushing away the feeling of fatigue as the rays of colour and warmth comforted his body.

Bright, glowing, warm, orange hues extended to a soft red-tinted sky, the sun surrounded by soft pinks, purples, oranges, yellows, red, and lavender stained clouds.

In a way the sun reminded Naruto of an explosion of colours that fades into dark blue to be surrounded by stars. Naruto was very much like the sun. Bright, cheerful, expressive, honest, bold, and hot tempered. In contrast, the sun was often by itself with no stars; Or so it seemed. No matter what time it was, the stars were still there, never leaving the sun. Just like how Naruto's friends were always there, even the ones Naruto had yet to meet.

The sun always stood out of the stars, as the day passed, then night would come. The moon a beautiful, white glow. Solidly sewn into the dark sky, surrounded by sparkling stars.

Surrounded by close friends.

With friends in mind, he remembered that he should have been getting ready to see Neji for their plane outing, it almost felt too long for the week to finally pass by. Naruto grinned at the thought, quickly taking out is Nikon camera to take the picture of the sunset; every sunset was different and unique, Naruto took pictures of it every day before setting, it was a guilty pleasure for him to admire each unique shot.

He wrapped his fingers carefully around the delicate camera and brought it to his face as he bent down to get a better angle. He aimed the camera with careful precision to take in the sun, and the colour dyed clouds, his elbow propped up carefully to steady his camera.

With a quick _click_ the camera saved the picture into its memory. Satisfied, he settled the camera back in its case.

Naruto was beginning to think that he should try to paint with watercolours to portray the sunsets he had been taking for years, to imitate the way the clouds crowded together like frozen mist.

Feeling satisfied, Naruto got to his feet to approach his ordinary closet in his ordinary apartment from his ordinary preference. Though Naruto couldn't afford luxuries like buying nice, expensive clothes, Naruto had a few nice shirts from friends and family.

He took out a blue, dress shirt and some nice fitting jeans.

It hugged slightly tighter than Naruto would have liked, but he looked into the mirror and found himself shrugging off the discomfort when he noticed that the air around him was a little more mature with the dress shirt.

Staring at his reflection with such dead seriousness erupted laughter from Naruto's chest.

Naruto classy and refined? Please, those were too plain of words to describe Naruto.

Though he did invite Neji so he should dress appropriately, or rather try his best to rekindle a friendship that had yet to bloom.

Satisfied with his shirt after buttoning it up, he changed into his fitted jeans he received from his friend Rock Lee.

It was either these pair of pants, or an exact version of Lee's tight, green, tracksuit. Naruto took the prior.

He shuddered slightly at the thought of himself wearing green tights, laughing a little at the idea of coming to the diner and Neji's dismayed reaction.

Naruto might have thrown on the tights without a second thought had he been twelve, but Naruto had grown older, his childish sincerity never wavered, but his sense of humour had matured; No longer did he go after other's attention with mischievous pranks, instead, he gave his best to give people encouragement when they needed it.

Nodding at his apparel. He looked refined, or as close as he could get. The idea of doing something with his hair seemed a bit overkill, maybe he'd slip in some gel, but he brushed the thought away when he glanced at the clock. He wasn't attending a formal event, it was just a reunion with a friend, am old one.

Suddenly he began to receive a phone call from his iPhone 6 he had received as a late birthday gift from his step father Kakashi. The sudden burst of ringing caused Naruto's heart to nearly shoot out of his chest, shocking him from his peaceful moment. He scrambled to find the phone in the mess he called 'laundry'―which was actually filthy paint stained clothes.

He quickly pushed gently with his finger to accept the call, and then pressed 'speaker'.

Rather irritated, he answered in a rushed annoyed tone, though he tried to maintain a neutral hush to seem polite since the number was unidentified.

"Hello?" he said, while slipping his wallet into his right pocket, taking a bus ticket as an extra precaution. He needed to go grocery shopping for food right after meeting with Neji, this random call was not what he needed.

A low, husky voice rang out the phone. It would have been lubricious had it not sounded dead and cold like a fish. Naruto knew very well this voice was a sexy male one, and would have found it attractive if the person on the other line sounded somewhat eager or lighthearted.

"Is that any tone to use against you're new boss Mr. Uzumaki?" the tone was teasing, yet obviously arrogant. Naruto was a bit amused with this, immediately recognizing it was Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto was wavering at the warning Sasuke had expected to switch Naruto's attitude. Naruto was not having any of that.

"Why the fuck do you have my cell number?" Naruto asked sharply, taking a seat on his smooth, dusty green, couch, settling with running halfway to the diner if this call would take longer than expected. "It's stalking, therefore creepy."

Almost sounding surprised, Sasuke replied "Simple. If you had any idea how to properly format and fill in a resume, you would know to place in contact information, which Shikamaru had taken the initiative to do so. Are you sure you didn't drop out of school?" he mockingly questioned, sounding somewhat bored and annoyed now. Was Sasuke calling Naruto so he could mock him?

"I don't have time for this, just get to the point already." Naruto spat, impatient and annoyed with Sasuke's overall rude egotistical attitude. He didn't care to place much though into his words if this was how it was going to be from now on. A typical asshole who enjoys manipulating other people with their power, Naruto wasn't the type to submit to that type of guy.

"Oh calm down. "Sasuke soothed, tone a shade softer, sounding almost caring.

"I called you to inquire your preferences in tools, style, and mood." Sasuke finished smoothly, shuffling sounds emitted from the speaker, resembling the ruffling of papers.

Naruto leaned against the side of his couch by shifting his weight, swirling a loose string he had found on the table between his fingers.

"What do you mean by that?"

"To be specific enough, tools as in brush sizes, types, and sets. Style, which should be obvious even for you," Naruto could almost see the sneer on Sasuke's expression.

"Well?"

"There is a range of styles, examples are Mona Lisa, which is realism. Impressionism, which Monet is famous for. Expressionism, Vincent Van Gogh's famous art piece Starry Night."

Thinking carefully "What about abstraction?"

"Depends, are you asking about abstraction or abstract art? Those two are different things you know."

"I know the difference." Naruto snapped, articulating his words to be clear, finding Sasuke's constant question of his intelligence insulting and degrading.

Naruto swore he heard traces of amusement in Sasuke's tone when he replied "Then yes. Abstraction is certainly a type of art that is acceptable." The fact Naruto had even asked to see if it was acceptable made it evident Naruto would say abstraction was his style, or at least part of his style since Sasuke had the opportunity to witness his skills.

Clearing his throat a little, Sasuke took a moment to continue "Mood, is the type of emotion you'd like to present to a viewer, this can include colour pigments you prefer using."

"Okay…" Favouring the prospect of multitasking, Naruto slid his phone gently on the table after switching to speaker mode, Naruto began to fit himself into a pair of newer shoes.

"…Any kind of brushes are fine, though I stick with acrylic paintbrushes more often than not, sometimes I use my hands to paint."

Tanned fingers began to wound up the laces by the aglet in quick motions.

"Sloppy. I'm not surprised." Sasuke deadpanned.

Ignoring the itch to smack talk Sasuke, he took a moment to concentrate back to the others questions, Naruto roughly continued, distracted by his current activity with the slow pressure of arriving late to his social appointment with Neji.

"If I think about it carefully, I tend to favour abstraction and impressionism, sometimes I'll add realism, it just depends on my moods and thoughts."

Checking he had everything, Naruto picked up his phone to head out the apartment, digging his other hand to find his key to lock up the apartment door before he exited the building.

"Creative, but not enough, have you had any experience in any other styles?"

"Does sculpturing count?"

"No."

"Then that's all."

Sasuke didn't speak for the moment, or the next. Pretty soon Naruto reached the elevator and Naruto couldn't help but wonder of Sasuke had fallen asleep on him. "Sassy Su, you up?"

"Don't ever call me that again, dead last."

Grinning at the obvious displeasure of the nickname Naruto had chosen, he switched to answering the next inquiry, though it was harder to pin point what mood Naruto commonly associated with each of his paintings.

"It's kinda bittersweet you know? Believe it or not, all my pieces of artwork have been about pain, but not as in the present if you get what I mean."

No, Sasuke did not pick up on where Naruto was going, but he refused to sound lost in the conversation and humoured Naruto.

"Every picture I've done is about overcoming painful obstacles. The feelings of anger and regret are part of a memory that always blooms when someone looks back on it, but remembering how far they've made it, make them feel strong."

"Melancholy and nostalgia." Sasuke offered a simplified suggestion.

Nodding eagerly Naruto agreed "Exactly." The brief pause seemed somewhat disapproving, Naruto couldn't help himself to break the silence first.

"Is it bad?" Being serious was one of Naruto's surprising traits he had since high school, though most don't assume, Naruto knew which things shouldn't matter and which things were worth giving deeper thoughts. This was one of the times.

Naruto needed this opportunity to find his lost friend in the city; Konoha was far too vast and overpopulated to be able to single out a person from the rest.

Right now, Naruto needed Sasuke's professional opinion on his approach to achieve his goal to being a (somewhat) famous artist.

Once again, silence settled between them cosily once again, difference was, Sasuke disturbed the quiet. "Bring samples of your preferred colour palette to my office tomorrow."

Before Naruto could protest, the sound of Sasuke hanging up interrupted him.

The bus finally arrived, the doors opening to Naruto the moment he had been hung up on, Naruto's expression slightly miffed.

_What the fuck._

* * *

The following evening consisted of a mellowed drive downtown with few people that arrived to the bus, which was surprising since the busiest times for travelers changing routes was at night when the sun settled quietly in its blanket.

Naruto walked down the grey streets after he reached his desired destination. The wind was pleasantly soft, stroking his skin as he took a right turn to the restaurant where Neji stood in front of. He saw Neji in beige colours.

 _How very like him_ Naruto thought, wondering if Neji favoured any colour that was considered bold. Whatever the case, Neji was still Neji as long as his friend was satisfied with his life.

Neji looked up and noticed Naruto, tensing for a moment before his muscles relaxed to give a small smile.

 _Looks like I'm on time,_ Naruto thought, relieved he hadn't lost track of time.

Smiling back, Naruto eagerly jogged right up to Neji, excited and optimistic for the night they planned.

"Sorry to keep you waiting!"

Neji nodded "I had just arrived as well. No need to apologize." He assured with warm looking eyes, giving Naruto an odd sense of warmth.

Naruto grinned at Neji's mannerisms.

_Still polite and refined as ever._

As they caught up on each other's lives, both had a few drinks to loosen themselves a little, feeling the stress slowly fade out as the night progressed.

Naruto was extremely able when it came to holding his alcohol. He found out about this right around his second year of university when he mistook vodka for water after he ran a fundraiser marathon for extra credit.

Naruto sipped his iced whiskey, setting it gently on the table before he turned to Neji with curious eyes.

"So...Neji, found a girlfriend yet? Or are you still ticking with the whole 'My destiny is to remain to my duty, and dating is not it.'" Naruto teased.

Neji almost choked on his tea from embarrassment.

If Neji could, he'd return to high school and kick himself for stating absurd words without properly thinking about it.

Calming down a little, he cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He glanced at Naruto's direction calmly.

"Well... It'd be a lie to say no. But it's quite compl-" he was cut off by Naruto's enthusiasm before he could even finish his explanation.

"Good for you, it's about time you found interest in someone. How far have you gotten with her? Need help?" he suggested eagerly.

Neji turned red in embarrassment and stared stupidly at the tea, blinking irregularly in hopes the dizziness would wane out, keeping quiet.

The odd pause confused Naruto, had he been too nosy too soon?

"...You see...It's actually a 'He'." he stammered quietly. Naruto's eyes widened, lips parted in momentary shock as his expression showed his brain was processing the truth.

Neji regretted admitting he was gay to this man who was the person of his affections, but also a bit of stranger with the amount of years between their last meeting, Neji didn't want to be rejected or viewed as disgusting for favouring the same sex. But if he didn't do this, his work might be in vain, Neji didn't want to suffer any unnecessary disappointment.

"You want to be a gay, go for it, got no qualms." Naruto told. Neji looked up, his lavender eyes shocked "What...?" he was clear expecting something entirely different.

Naruto smiled confidently and patted his chest to refer to himself.

"It shouldn't be too surprising, I mean, I don't judge people for their preference, it never mattered to me." He admitted with confidence.

Naruto turned to Neji, then to the brown haired waitress that had asked if Naruto would like another drink as he was almost done with his.

Ordering himself another whiskey Naruto turned to Neji and felt to see his worried and shocked, since Naruto had a day off tomorrow, except for meeting with Sasuke which Naruto was reluctant to even think about.

Neji's expression became softer, much more relaxed now that he knew Naruto was comfortable with the idea of sexual acts among the same sex.

This was favorable progress even if it was only baby steps.

"I see..." Neji said, quickly composing himself once more, taking his tea between his slender fingers, sipping the hot liquid; the taste of natural bitter leaves was therapeutic for his headache.

Neji opened his mouth after careful thinking but hesitated, Neji wanted to get straight to the point, ask of Naruto loved someone, but he wasn't sure if it was too soon, or maybe the reason behind his hesitancy was because of Neji's refusal to accept any facts that Naruto might not be interested in him.

"What about you? Anyone you find attracting your thoughts?" Neji asked, hiding the tightness of his voice. Naruto found himself smiling as if the idea of it was humorous.

"Naw, I haven't been exactly the dating type since high school. I'm trying to find this person you see..." The blond man explained as he wiped his hands with a napkin of the water around his chilled cup.

Neji's eyes gleamed with sudden focus, almost intense. "Oh? Someone important, yes?" he asked, sitting up, not wanting to miss a single syllable.

The waitress silently came by and placed the cold glass of whiskey on the table before carrying the rest of the drinks to the other customers she had to attend to.

Naruto rubbed his head in slight embarrassment, he bit his cheek before continuing.

"Well...The thing is...I may or may not actually know...who he is...I'm just trying to find a old friend I knew when I was at the orphanage. As it often happens to parentless children, we got separated."

Naruto shifted his seat to become more comfortable to tell his childhood story.

He reached out for his new cold whiskey, the ice making light tinkling noises as they clashed together from the tilting motion, the cold liquid went down Naruto's throat, leaving a burning sensation. He let out a tense sigh, recalling the bitter memory of their goodbye.

"...He was the only one who didn't hate me, he just saw me as an equal..." He looked up at Neji. Neji's gaze softened to empathy, nodding silently for Naruto to continue his story.

Naruto gulped in anxiety, this was the first actual time he had told someone about his past. It wasn't that he didn't trust Neji, it was the sense of vulnerability that made Naruto apprehensive since Naruto never had problems being open with people until today.

"A lot of people hate me in my birth town. During my last year of high school, my adoptive father, told me the truth; My biological parents were good people. But they were butchered by some crazy fuck, others were also killed." He looked to the ground, forcing himself to finish the rest of his whiskey to urge the irrational anger that spilled in his words.

"...He slit open my mother's stomach and took me when I was stillborn...But apparently I survived so the psycho kept me..." His eyes darting to meet Neji's before he continued. Naruto felt his throat choke his own words.

"...The man who took me..." He took a deep breath, his lungs and stomach were contracting oddly, he discontinued the sentence, he didn't want to talk about the gory stuff. He wasn't meeting with Neji to tell his life story while drowning in self pity. This was just a moment of sharing, opening himself to show a vulnerable part of his past, because Naruto wanted to trust people

"...They found me when I was one, covered in dried blood after the gunned him down... When I was returned to my home town, I was seen and treated as if I was the psychopath." Naruto finished, feeling his tightened lungs and throat calming. His heartbeat was settling back to its normal rhythm, leaving him feeling worn out and empty.

He felt the warm hand rub his shoulder gently, removing the negative traces of emotion from his body

"Thank you."

Naruto accepted the heartfelt words.

"And… I'm sorry." Neji added, with saddened eyes, to Naruto's relief the clear pools of milky lilac were filled with empathy, not pity.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked, grateful Neji was gracefully understanding of his past, but somehow confused as to where the apology stemmed from.

"Someone has to. You deserve that much."

This time, Naruto thanked Neji.

The rest of the night was relatively enjoyable. Naruto and Neji laughed a good amount that cool evening, exchanging blunders of their past. The evening offered Naruto a chance to pick up from their last meeting which had been uncertain, to make sure their relationship would progress positively from this point on. Naruto made sure to.

* * *

The following morning, Naruto had mild after effects of his drinking. His ears were a little sensitive to sharp noises, his head reeled in gentle throbbing, his throat screaming for water.

Groggily, he dragged his body to the shower to dull some of the annoying symptoms which washed away with the water. Feeling rather lazy, Naruto fixed himself scrambled eggs naked before throwing on a dark blue shirt, the jeans he wore yesterday, and his favorite orange sneakers.

As usual, he went to follow out his schedule. By late afternoon, Naruto nearly forgotten his appointment with Sasuke. Rushing home, Naruto mixed with acrylic and oil paints, hastily separating colours in small jam jars. Shoving the class containers into his old knapsack, Naruto set out at 7:45 pm,

"Bastard could at least sound like he felt bad... Didn't even give me a specific time…" Naruto muttered to himself as he pulled the glass doors open of Uchiha Corps.

As he waited in the elevator, he awkwardly shuffled farther away from the woman who was coming on to him with not so subtle strokes on his ass.

 _Is everyone here a pervert?_ Naruto wondered, as he felt light hands wander dangerously up his arm and hips.

When he reached his desired floor, he bolted out the doors, nearly knocking out a fierce looking blond that shot dark glares at Naruto.

 _Just breathe, give him the stuff and you can easily get out and go back to bed._ He reassured himself as he opened the door that had "Uchiha" in big black words, the intense looks Naruto received had left the air around him vividly uncomfortable, filling the corners of his space until he was practically swimming in discomfort.

When Naruto entered his office, the stupid bastard was sleeping.

Naruto just rolled his eyes, feeling his irritation wavering at the sight of the exhausted workaholic.

As he approached closer in quiet steps, Naruto noticed Sasuke's hand holding pen tightly, as if he was ready to write down important information, his curious eyes then took notice of the stacked files beside him. Was he working all day?

"Has he ever heard of asking for help?" Naruto sighed quietly, worried over the future health problems that would occur if Sasuke continued overexerting his human body. Neji had offered bits of information regarding Sasuke's habits of skipping meals, sleep, and breaks to dedicate his time to his work.

No wonder he was such a prick. The poor bastard never gets any rest, obviously he was sleep deprived, which resulted in Sasuke's cranky attitude.

Naruto placed his bag on a nearby chair and went to look for a blanket in what looked to be a closet(which was a little odd). He found a thick, cotton blanket that was definitely clean. Carefully Naruto spread the blanket out to wrap it over Sasuke's hunched back.

Naruto stared for a moment after placing the blanket over the weary body. Hard alabaster skin, a sculpted face, his hair looked like a duck taking a shit, but it amusingly fit well on Sasuke. His characteristics made him seem so organized, ambitious, and extremely attractive in every physical way.

No wonder woman liked Sasuke. Naruto shook himself to get out of his weird trance, he shouldn't have been admiring Sasuke's features. He must have been exhausted to even think of his boss as someone captivating.

Taking the last few minutes he was there, Naruto took a sticky note and scribbled a note to stick on the front of his bag before he exited the room.

He quickly headed out the building, secretly hoping Sasuke would wise up and sleep at his home next time, feeling content that he at least helped him get comfortable.

* * *

Waking up around the middle of the night, Sasuke had found himself frustrated with himself for stupidly falling asleep on his desk. It was irresponsible to fall asleep before his work had been finished.

Stretching his sore muscles, Sasuke didn't take notice of the blanket someone had been considerate enough to wrap him with, instead he noticed the raggedy sack on the chair across his desk.

It took a moment, but Sasuke safely assumed it had been Naruto that dropped the samples he requested the prior day. Taking the yellow stick note, Sasuke skimmed through the words.

**_Bastard, give me a specific time so I can kick your ass back home when you're awake. Get some rest smartass._ **

**_-Naruto U._ **

Finding the note nosy, Sasuke crumpled it, hesitating to throw it in the garbage, instead he threw it back on his desk.

Sasuke's hand wiggled around the center of the knapsack, taking out each glass jar, miffed that Naruto hadn't placed the colours in a plastic container since many jars had cracks rooting everywhere. Lastly, he felt a cool handle in the nearly empty bag. He gripped hilt with his fingers and pulled it out to get a better look on the unexpected object.

It was a decrepit looking hair brush that had ''Pokeball" messily edged on the chipping surface.

"What the hell is this?"


	14. Epiphany

**EPIPHANY**

(n.) A moment of sudden revelation.

* * *

Sasuke stared at the tattered, chipped hairbrush which he grasped in his pale fingers, finding himself rub along the surface as it gave Sasuke an odd sense of thoughtful melancholy.

The idiot blond must have rushed over and accidentally shoved in his hairbrush. Sasuke debated whether he should throw it out since he knew Naruto could afford another brush, a better one at that. Then a question popped up, why did Naruto keep it then?

What was so special about it? Sasuke stare intently on the messy words inked on the smooth surface.

He noticed a faded patch of white and blue, he would've assumed that it was a poke ball from the anime Pokemon, but something urged him that this was not the case, since when did Pokemon distribute hairbrushes?

Sasuke then sighed in frustration, massaging the skin on his temple with his thumb and forefinger. He was too stressed and tired, even with his nap which stretched to five hours.

Why was he even bothering with the brush? Throwing it away should've been a no brainer. If Naruto got passed then he could give Naruto the money to buy a new one of he was the poor.

Naruto didn't need a brush anyway, his spiky hair was a tragic mess of knots, it didn't seem like Naruto brushed at all, or if he did, he was doing a horrible job of taming his hair for an adult.

Aureate hair that stuck out in every angle like an explosion of sparks, but appearing to be soft to tou-

Why was Sasuke Uchiha thinking about Naruto's hair? What was he doing daydreaming? And over Naruto? He must have been terminally ill; Sasuke was beginning to daydream, about Naruto, which was a clear sign he was going crackers.

From a sober point, Naruto was handsome with his charismatic charm, freshly tanned skin, sprinkled with the occasional cinnamon, playful smile, and drowning topaz eyes. It wasn't an opinion, it was a fact. At least that's what Sasuke told himself.

The flaxen man possessed a smooth timbre that was sexy, but always retained a soothing tone whenever he calm, when he was angered, the tone would blink right into fire.

In contrast, his personality left little to be desired, at least for Sasuke, he was outspoken, impulsive, brave, compassionate, stubborn, and naïve.

Or so Neji insisted. What was their relationship anyway? They acted friendly towards each other(or in this case, Neji), like they had been long lost friends, it was rather sickening to witness.

Now that Sasuke was reflecting back on it, Neji had arrived to school one day with multiple scrapes, bruises, and a twisted wrist. Needless to say Neji's personality was just as unusual.

When Sasuke asked indirectly, Neji would only give vague answers to him and anyone else who couldn't help themselves from their burning need to know who had accomplished in beating Neji Hyuuga, the martial artist.

Being the reserved man Neji was, his answers came off restrained, like it didn't matter when it was clear that it did with the new impact on his attitude.

What used to by a cynical teenager that doubted every good thing, was someone renewed and at peace with the realities the world contained. The standard way of treating people was a chore for Neji since the beginning with his strict cultural background, since that day he arrived in a dilapidated state, Neji moved with purpose, spoke with emotion. From day one in school, Sasuke and Neji had been close, their peers all in the same tight community which provided Sasuke a challenge to single out who had won in a fight with Neji; not many lied to Sasuke with the way he addressed others with aggressively passive techniques.

Not a single person had any idea who it was either. Sasuke then realized he was curious out of his obsessive interest in power. Sasuke never once scored a match with Neji, they always tied, which irritated Sasuke to no end when he heard of someone else that was stronger than him.

All this time, Sasuke just didn't expect it have been Naruto, whom was recklessly impudent which left the brunette feeling foolish for believing he was incompetent in high school.

Naruto was clearly below him.

Sasuke took out Naruto's resume he smartly kept, setting the brush in his drawer before his attention began skimming through papers, probing around highlighted information. Nothing stood out as Sasuke had taken the initiative to memorize Naruto's resume, he just couldn't ignore the strange urge to find something else about Naruto.

Working with dozens of partners, Sasuke picked up the ability to single out people with potential, something that made them stand out from the rest, out of the unique crowd of people Sasuke had used to get to the top, Naruto somehow made them seem characterless to his rambunctious ways.

The annoying urge in his head insisted Sasuke to look further into Naruto's past. Stupidly, he listened out of sheer boredom.

When he slipped out his smartphone to call Shikamaru, he was given three surprises.

First, Naruto and Shikamaru had been orphans. Second, Naruto had been moved to Shikamaru's orphanage because at Naruto's last one, there had been a near death incident. Third, Naruto was closed off when it came to his previous experience at the old orphanage.

Generally Sasuke was prepared for any new info regarding a person's past, Sasuke saw too easily what sort of incidents cause certain attributes to arise in people; but he was caught off guard to the new information regarding Naruto.

Usually Sasuke's colder heart didn't care if a person lost others, he took pride in his unmovable icy demeanor; but here he was, feeling the cold churn in his chest. He felt empathy for Naruto.

Feeling scorn, Sasuke glared at the brush that laid in the pulled out drawer.

Naruto may have lost his parents, but Sasuke lost everything as child, he didn't have room in his heart to give Naruto any compassion.

Everything was black or white for Sasuke, simple order. He either hated it something or liked it, there is was no gray middle, but with Naruto, he hated his annoying antics from the start, but here he was pondering about him, feelings invading his tired body.

Then there was the small squeak of a door being slung open, the squeak stretched to a creaking whisper. A patch of blond hair peaked through.

Obsidian eyes met navy ones. Sasuke assumed Naruto came by to retrieve the brush he had left in his bag. Naruto mumbled something under his breath, most likely a curse word when Naruto realized Sasuke was awake, which meant Naruto would have to deal with a snappy brunette.

Clear cobalt eyes glanced at the ground, then back to Sasuke, his mouth parting to form a word of his sentence, but silence was what came out of his mouth before closing his mouth again.

Narrowing his eyes a little, Sasuke waited a bit longer.

Silence continued, and Sasuke felt himself already uncomfortable with Naruto's presence that invaded his office like, the smell of musky paint filling the corners of the room until Sasuke felt himself drowning. So his instincts kicked in, trying anything to scare off the growing idea of companionship.

"Spit it out you brainless moron. I actually have work I need to do." He glared at Naruto, feeling anger churn in his stomach, heating his face a little.

Naruto wasn't fazed by Sasuke's attitude, in fact his expression looked somewhat surprised, he took on a calmer attitude, offering a clean smile.

"Listen, I get that you're cranky, but maybe you should head to bed." He took a step forward and placed a hand over his forehead, his other hand brushing softly on Sasuke's temple.

The burning cold of Naruto's hand caused Sasuke to flinch from the searing hand, the temperature change brought flashes of a boy freezing to death in a snowy river.

"Seriously, you've stressed yourself to a fever. Give it a rest." The young blond snapped. Sasuke rubbed his temple gently to ease away the unsought memory. Sasuke didn't want to remember the severe grief of watching someone close die away, cold hands; a cold body. He had been useless, incapable of saving one life that mattered to him, a stranger had done a better job than him.

"Alright." He bitingly agreed, slapping away the blonde's pleasant hand, annoyed at his own body for yearning the contact.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke but thankfully remained wordless, eyes satisfied with Sasuke's agreement.

"If you promise to leave me alone." He continued, finding Naruto's eyes that flared in mild rebellion quite appeasing and annoying.

"Then I want to see your ass heading home." Naruto demanded.

Sasuke glared at Naruto once more with the stubbornness he had to deal with.

"Just leave Naruto, why are you even here?" Sasuke fumed tiredly, getting of his seat and grabbing the brush to throw at Naruto before the tanned man could explain himself.

"Catch." Before he headed towards the door, his steps retaining a calm confidant stride, ignoring the yelp Naruto made when he missed catching the brush.

After a few moments, Sasuke was disappointed to see that Naruto was following behind like overexcited monkey. Sasuke cocked his head to the side, glancing at Naruto with an almost condemning glare.

"What are you doing?" He questioned.

The cheerful man simply grinned and said

"Just making sure you reach the elevator." He assured. Sasuke scowled but that only encouraged Naruto to widen his smile.

"Do you have to act so obnoxious?"

"Yes, I'm trying to rub off on you and brighten your aura."

Soon they reached the elevator entrance.

Sasuke pressed the grey dull arrow that pointed down with his thumb, when he lifted it off, the button glowed a warm yellow. Silently, Sasuke decided to pray that Naruto would magically hit a mental growth spurt to act civil for once.

Naruto examined the brush before grinning once again like a fool after he heard Sasuke sigh.

"Thanks for not throwing it away, most people would have trashed it since it's worn out..."

"I've seen too many artists reference to odd objects that for some reason, keeps them inspired, I'd be a poor sort of person to disregard that."

"Still, it's nice of you. Though next time, instead of giving me an excuse to maintain your 'cool' attitude, a 'you're welcome' would suffice."

Clicking his tongue at the overwhelming naivety, Sasuke felt impatience stir in the depths of his stomach.

"How could I?"

"You can speak English."

"I'd rather not say it."

"Why?"

"Everyone expects something back in return."

Naruto pursed his lips, finding his lips drying a little, Naruto poked out his tongue to wet the skin, feeling the air conditioning bitingly cold.

"Some people yeah, but I didn't get that sort of vibe from you."

The entrance opened with a ding as metal doors slid open, clutters of people exiting out, nodding at Sasuke in silent acknowledgment, some brave enough to mutter a "Have a good evening."

Sasuke walked into the mirrored elevator, Naruto followed immediately, preventing Sasuke from even attempting to close the doors before the irritating blonde could jump in. Perhaps next time he'd succeed. Chopin played beautifully in the air from the speakers, it was Sasuke's favored one, Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2.

"I was planning to throw it out..." Sasuke stretched his right arm to hit the bottom floor button.

"...But then I remembered it'd be bad publicity for my company if I failed to keep my representative inspired. Even if it is a piece of trash."

Naruto jerked his head to Sasuke's direction; His nostrils flared in anger as his bared his teeth. Sasuke felt a shot of shallow arrogance over what he presumed was a sensitive jab to Naruto.

"Don't say that. The brush is important to me. You don't know what you're talking about." Naruto spat, his angry eyes glaring through Sasuke's uncaring ones.

After a second, Naruto understood that Sasuke wasn't a guilty type of person because he simply didn't care, which was why stepped away and withdrew his temper.

"The world doesn't revolve around you, you know that right?" he asked, hoping Sasuke would at least try to act apologetic.

Sasuke sneered, seeing through Naruto's expectations, purposely disappointing him

"Obviously."

The classical music soon faded, Owl City taking over for the rest of the ride down which brought a frown to Sasuke. He wasn't a fan of electro music, it was too glitchy, loud, and layered for his tastes.

Silence had remained in place, until Sasuke found himself frustrated for feeling uncomfortable. Silence and Naruto did not mix, it wasn't right.

Cursing himself for instigating a conversation that wouldn't be favorable to him, Sasuke asked quietly "Why does it say 'pokemon'?"

"Huh?"

"I won't repeat myself. Did you write it?"

"The original logo reminded me of one." Naruto replied, nodding his head as an answer as he gave reason.

"The person who gave it to me always had the logo on him, in some form..." he added.

They stayed silent together, with the exception of the faint music in the background, Owl City, singing away.

_We got older, and I should have known_

_(Do you feel alive?)_

_That I feel colder when I walk alone_

_(Oh, but you'll survive.)_

Sasuke cleared his voice, the song shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did, it just reminded him of his old friend he left, Sasuke never had another friendship that could replace his old one since then, it didn't feel right.

The worst part of it, was that Sasuke couldn't even remember his friend's face or name, it made him despise himself for forgetting someone so important, he just felt lonelier living like this, but he couldn't give up his search for Itachi.

All of this effort was for the sake of finding his brother, then… Sasuke had the choice what to do next. Everything wouldn't matter once he found him.

"Then what was the logo?" Sasuke's eyes curiously glanced at the floor level indicator, they still had 5 floors left to pass down.

Naruto shrugged a little. "Does it matter?" he questioned, yawning to the side, feeling fatigue lingering from waking up unusually early.

"Just checking if you can even remember with that dim brain of yours." Sasuke mocked with a nudged smirk.

Naruto shot a fake glare at Sasuke's sudden playfulness, luckily for Naruto, he sucked at acting.

Silence returned, though not as awkward anymore

Amazingly, there were no interruptions as the elevator continued to descend smoothly and slowly past each floor, it seemed many people had the day off, it made sense though, it was the weekend.

The music playing continued, the volume increasing along with the voice.

_Circle me and the needle moves gracefully_

_Back and forth_

_If my heart was a compass you'd be north_

_Risk it all and I'll catch you if you fall_

_Wherever you go_

_If my heart was a house you'd be home_

Naruto eventually began to hum gently, which grew louder second by second. Sasuke turned to Naruto when he began dancing along.

"Would you stop that?" He asked politely but Naruto feigned fake innocence, trying to piss Sasuke off purposely.

Sasuke thought about kicking Naruto for him to cease by keeling over but he knew better.

_It makes me smile because you said it best_

_I would clearly feel blessed if the sun rose up from the west_

_Flower balm perfume_

_All my clothes smell like you cause your favorite shade is navy blue_

_I walk slowly when I'm on my own_

_(Do you feel alive?)_

_Yeah, but frankly I still feel alone_

_(Oh but you'll survive)_

_So I may as well ditch my dismay_

_(Bombs away)_

The elevator dinged softly, signalling that they had finally reached the last floor. The metal door slid open. Naruto was the first to walk out.

After five or six steps, he stopped and turned his head to the side for a moment, considering what he'd say to Sasuke. During his pondering, Sasuke took the moment to appreciate the way the light shined past his blond hair, and lashes, making them glow warmly.

His skin defined by the tan that stretched evenly on his body, making Sasuke curious to see how far that tan might go.

This time, much more softly the lyrics repeated in an affectionate manner

_Circle me and the needle moves gracefully_

_Back and forth_

The sunlight also highlighted the passionate blue in Naruto's eyes pass, yet as passionate as the shade was, the eyes had muddles traces of something bitter, like Naruto was recalling something sad.

He looked at Sasuke for a moment, successfully giving a sincere smile that spoke of loss and something gray.

"...It was a fan..." He said in a low tone, his voice cracking in a shake hush, as if he was telling himself.

Sasuke's eyebrows knitted tightly at the center of his temple.

"A what?" He asked once more.

Naruto turns his head forward.

"A white and red fan." He repeated before his silhouette disappeared out the building, leaving Sasuke in the elevator with his opened mouth, and frozen wide eyes.

The music soon faded.

Sasuke stood there at that moment. Questions and confusion invaded his mind, it was unlikely that it was a coincidence.

But one question screamed out of all the whimpering ones.

_Who are you Naruto Uzumaki?_


	15. Petrichor

**PETRICHOR**

(adj.) The pleasant, earthy smell after rain.

* * *

He saw black. No.

It's the colour of being lost.

No wait… that's not quite right either.

Could it be the colour of bruises?

No.

It was the colour of being lost.

He was the darkness, lost in himself with no light to guide him.

One with night, he saw a shivering figure hunched into a small ball, tears streaming down like raindrops.

Although it was dark and impossible to see, it was difficult to ignore the bright hues of yellow that stuck out.

Pretty soon the shadowed boy sat beside the trembling stranger. Mimicking the curled body and gripped knees. He shut his eyes tightly to forget the nightmares and the darkness,

To forget himself because nothing bothered him. The nightmares, the loneliness, the darkness, and pain were nothing to him, which was why he was scared of himself.

A couple of moments, the dark boy looked to see the blonde stranger was wandering for the exit.

 _Someone I helped..._ He finally recalled, the stranger was not in fact someone new, it was an old friend visiting his dreams.

Quietly, he got back up. Stretching his arm out to offer a confident hand to his best friend.

Blue eyes were beautifully revealed, clearly displaying trust as their fingers intertwined without hesitation.

They had done this before. Many years ago.

Both reached the end.

Previously, when the obsidian boy guided the blonde to the exit, the friend asked for him to come along to the outside. Naturally the coal stained boy refused, finding the idea of a new land filled with unknown dangers frightening.

The blue eyes boy understood, promising to return and try to come back for his new friend again.

Years later, the dark boy forgot about his only friend. Slowly he succumbed to the coldness and darkness, it was all he had, all that made him who he was.

It was what gave him purpose to avenge his family.

By now he had everything ready, but he stalled, finding more and more excuses to stay in the empty, cold abyss.

He had energy to get up, he knew how to leave but why was he refusing to leave?

Who was he waiting for?

Who was so important? Why do he feel a tight sucking pain in his chest? It felt like bricks were trying to rip a hole inside his intestines by trying to press through.

Make it stop.

_I do not want to remember._

_I do not need this._

_This is not important._

_It does not matter anymore._

_I no longer care about the boy I was waiting for._

_I do not want._

_I do not care._

_But do I?_

_I do not care about Naruto._

_I am not here._

_I do n-_

Sasuke gasped, throwing himself upright, eyes tearing themselves open as fear filled his lungs and veins.

In slow breaths, he nearly choked on air trying to relax his throat allowing the air in easier.

Cold sweat over his spine, sweat disgustingly similar to slugs when it began sliding down his heaving body. Trembling, he rubbed the sides of his face in hopes of shaking off the irrational fear his body felt.

Annoyingly, his head pulsed in pain, heart rattling against the cage of ribs from his earlier slumber.

Sasuke tried to close his eyes, but he received flashes of bright glowing blue eyes.

A ghost from the past.

Calmly he took a deep breath before heading down to his bathroom, intending to splash his face and neck with cold water in hopes of banishing the sweat, and anxiety.

Just a bad memory resurfacing. An obvious result of thinking about it the faded past.

Vague blurs of the last bits of my dream played in his head like a radio. Only the vital facts were missing, the face and voice were blurred strokes of skin to the original.

Almost trembling from the burning adrenaline that abusively ravaged his limbs, Sasuke hobbled towards his faintly lit bathroom, automatically lighting up as his feet touched the marble tiles. One of the quirks of being wealthy.

Resting a moment, Sasuke knew the dream itself hadn't been what had shaken him, it was the missing memory of the person he had locked out for years.

He reached out for the smooth, cold bitten, steel handle to form his hands into a cradle, gathering the thin liquid.

Splashing the water against his face clashed against his skin temperature, calming immediately as water slipped down his skin, mimicking the heat of his body, clammy skin calming.

Wiping away the excess water, Sasuke glanced at the mirror. Taking a dizzy step back, Sasuke wanted to tear his eyes away from the distressing sight. His repressed memory had stepped out of his conscious and followed him by reflection.

Volatile blue eyes stared blankly. Face contorted in mild anguish, as if waiting for Sasuke to find him. But it was a burning sight. A lie.

The man before him was as close as Sasuke could remember. The eyes were burning, the golden hair a shade off the correct hue, more placid than its original blazing glow.

Sasuke flattened the tips of his fingers on the false reflection. Hesitantly, Sasuke tried to turning his facial muscles into a smile in hopes the reflection would do the same, moving closer, hoping to possibly feel the warmth of the creamy skin.

It did, though it was much broader and radiant in contrast to Sasuke's impoverished, drained one.

To Sasuke's dismay, the water he left running had transitioned to heated water, steam emanating in cloudy waves which clouded the mirror, obstructing the visual mirror of his unrecalled friend

Slapping the tap off, Sasuke rubbed his palm against the runny surface, brushing off the beaded water that gathered at the surface.

He gritted his teeth in anger, his damp hand clenching in bitter enragement, his head dropping against the solid surface, closing his eyes in resentment, unsure where to place the painful feeling of loss, like something he almost had in his fingers had transformed into smoke, escaping his careful grasp.

_What am I waiting for?_

* * *

Synthesia.

A combination of your senses which you may see the colors of music, taste colors, and smell from words.

So what would nostalgia smell, look, and taste like?

Would it smell like the ocean? The faint smell of sea foam softly invading your senses in gentle breezes.

Would it look like a happy smile with regret?

The taste would be bitter and dry, addicting and sweet.

Sweet because of the peace and happiness the memory offered, but bitter because it was in the past, therefore it was impossible to return to those times, especially with the way it ended, making it a desirous drug.

* * *

It started off with baby steps, gentle pats on the ground. Hearing was the first sense to awaken, then a wave of damp mold invaded his nose, there was nothing to touch besides his own skin and the ground. Suddenly, Naruto tasted blood, apparently it was from a cut lip. Finally, when sight returned, Naruto found himself overwhelmed with the continuous abyss before him, he had been walking in a void the entire time.

 _It hurts._ His feet stopped, taking the time to gently brush the side of his lip to meet liquefied iron dyed the colour wine, for a moment Naruto couldn't help but stare at the deep colour, ignoring the throbbing burn his lip had.

_Why am I here?_

Soft laughter echoed in the shadow dipped landscape, Naruto instantly recognized the voices, which was why he jerked his head up in fear.

There it was, a white blanket of land before Naruto like some kind of theatrical play.

Thinking back on it, the day itself hadn't been cold, it just had a lot of snow.

Like a scene, Naruto watched the old orphans he had once been tortured by, beat continuously at a crying body.

Naruto knew he had to make them stop before he felt his turbulent emotions explode from his hysterical buildup, but his feet were cemented into the ground, as if the black soil had eaten its way to his ankles.

"Stop it." He began.

Kick. Punch. Slap.

"Hey… Listen to me!" He called out, baring his teeth out, buckling his limbs forward in hopes of breaking free of his earthly prison.

Neither listened to his demand, or couldn't hear him.

Watching for too long, Naruto had to turn away, he didn't like looking into the depths of his memories of being an orphan.

Once the cries stopped, Naruto heart the faint rustling of limbs, the crunch the snow offered with each step; with vivid memory stored in his brain, Naruto already knew they were dragging his younger body down to the freezing river that had almost succeeded in freezing him to death.

Naruto ceased his struggle when the scene before him get eaten by the darkness. The relief had only been momentary as another had arose below his feet. Everything had suddenly inverted, his feet mobile once again.

As he took in the bleach colour around him, Naruto's left ear twitched to the sound of mild crying. Hesitantly, he turned and saw a black haired boy kneeling beside a hospital bed, head down just at the edge in a nest his arms made.

 _Why didn't he say goodbye to me?_ Naruto asked himself, remembering the peace he had felt when he was laying in the cold snow with his only friend by his side.

_Perhaps he was angry… For me dying without attempting to cling to life, maybe he thought I was leaving him, he must be upset._

Naruto slowly approached the trembling boy, kneeling on one knee to get a better look, waiting for the young boy to make the first move.

Quietly, the boy lifted his head, smoldering eyes meeting Naruto's. Naruto had nearly forgotten the smoky eyes his friend had, it was a welcoming sight indeed.

"Naruto." He softly confirmed.

"Yes?"

"It's scary here. In the dark cold world."

"Dark?" Naruto blinked back stupidly "What are you talking about? It's not dark at a-"

Just as he was about to finish, the word dyed itself a smooth charcoal in a blink of an eye. In confusion, Naruto scanned the area, only to find his childhood friend suddenly go missing when his head returned.

"Sasuke?" He called out, his voice almost soundless.

"Go back. You don't need me anymore. A familiar voice echoed, hauntingly young and sad.

Shaking his head "No. I can't, not until I find you again. Turning my back is the same as abandoning you for my own selfish goals."

"But what you're doing is selfish. You're scouting for me, even though it's clear that I don't care about you anymore, you're only pursuing me out of selfish relief of the guilt that's tied you up. Haven't you heard of letting the past go?"

Sucking his lip tightly, Naruto felt anger shiver inside him like shaken carbonated water.

"That's not it. It's true I regret letting you go, but only because we never said goodbye. You used to call me an airhead, but I can distinguish guilt. My actions aren't fueled by guilt, they're motivated by our past."

"…If you truly mean that…" The voice became small and breathy

"Come find me, and show me you care." The person before him suddenly appeared. An adult with a similar height of Naruto's, pale skin, an arrogant smirk decorating the face, the eyes smoldering.

Naruto parted his lips in shock as his eyes switched open. He fell from dream to reality.

He was unsure of his surroundings, trying to scan the details of his dream in his groggy state of consciousness. Unfortunately Naruto had been ripped away from what was likely a vital hint of finding his friend. Finding the clammy sweat incredibly disgusting, Naruto threw off his thick sheets to head down to his bathroom, almost tripping on a drawer he left pulled out, getting away with a reddening patch above his knee.

The window was opened wide, a square cool mouth that breathed out gusty surges that sent waves of goosebumps down his body.

Naruto peeled off his thin tank top that cling his broad shoulders, his briefs tossed off.

Impatiently extending a hand out on the running showerheads, hoping for a temperature change, Naruto found his thoughts muddled from the intense awakening he had, the dream he conjured, how frustratingly close he was to remembering something.

Naruto knew better than anyone, that at an orphanage, there was always some kind of emotional or mental burden a lone child had. It didn't even have to be a large burden.

The smallest burdens were the most unfair. The tiny ache that pulsed in resentment of other children with families never failed in reminding the child how hollow their heart was. The irritating pain wasn't large enough to make a person cry, but it was succeeded in making a child feel contempt for having nothing; Naruto had seen it happen in everyone at his orphanages, always in different forms, but it was still there.

The spray of water warmed comfortably for Naruto to slip in, savoring the way his body was cleansed of unwanted sweat and nerves, enjoying the hot steam and water that trailed down his taut skin.

His friend, seemed to carry something heavier. Remembering his actions, his best friend's eyes would linger on passing families, not on disdain, but in gentle blue coloured regret, soon staining to an intense angry wine.

Thinking on it now, his friend must have had a terrible accident of some sort in regards of his family the way cold eyes would stare at happy families. Naruto knew his friend was suffering, but he hadn't done anything about it, never tried to ask about it, comfort his friend because Naruto had chosen to be selfish and sulk over his own problems.

But when was that a rare problem among children?

At the time, Naruto was barely an adolescent, he was ignorantly dense to the people around him, despite this, his friend was aware of many things. More open than anyone in the small town, which was probably why his friend had no qualms with being Naruto's friend, he knew Naruto wasn't worthless, he taught Naruto the beginnings of self worth which allowed him to open up more to others.

Regrettably, when he realized the gift he had been given, it was too late to return the favour.

Now, his mentality had surged immensely, more than ever, Naruto was determined to locate his friend to give a heartfelt thanking, if his friend was unhappy, Naruto would be sure to return the kindness he had been shown because he knew that without his friend giving him hope, he might have never made it this far without mistrusting everyone he'd meet.

Stepping out of the shower Naruto threw back on his briefs, discarding the idea if wearing a tank top as he settled into bed, fatigue lulling him to sleep once his anxiety had finally ceased.

This time as Naruto slept, his mind was clear as crystal.

Promising his lost friend many things that Naruto would keep.

Morning strolled in its usual mood. Bright, and flamboyant, some despising the intense rays of light, some finding comfort that the sun rose with selfless heat and light.

Sasuke hated mornings with a passion, but today, he was a lot more on the edge since the sun with the blue sky reminded him of the haunting blue eyes that had stared at him in the middle of the night.

As a man of logic and problem solving, he didn't believe in supernatural occurrences since it was a preposterous excuse to run away from problems, which was why he refused to believe that his past had taken the form of familiar human for the sake of reuniting with his lost friend. Regardless of this issue, this wouldn't get in the way of his work because he didn't care.

The past of his orphanage days were nothing. Sasuke only needed himself and his future to satisfy his life, the past only brought useless thoughts, regrets, and worst of all, fear.

Once Sasuke reached his office in the morning, Sasuke called Naruto about possible ideas for the art competition that was around next year. Not a lot of time considering the skills Naruto had to brush up on as well as studying up on art history. Sasuke demanded Naruto to come over in the morning to brainstorm possible designs.

"What do you mean that this isn't good enough?" The blonde man whined harshly after his eighth rough sketch had been rejected by Sasuke.

Almost as deadly as his looks, Sasuke didn't hold back on criticism.

Dark ash colored eyes glared down Naruto, warning him to keep his tone down in the building since it was a bustling morning, which meant Sasuke had a pounding ache on the side of his temple.

Naruto's arms dropped and he scowled at Sasuke but said nothing, begrudgingly allowing Sasuke to further speak.

The brunette cocked his leg over his other one and let out a stressed sigh, rubbing his temple, his headache had not left him since last night, a lingering effect of restless sleep.

"As I was saying...Naruto..." He continued, mildly irritated, he shifted through the papers that contained key requirements to participate in the art competition.

"Luckily for you, they expect to see abstract paintings. The problem we have, is that hundreds of experienced artists will gather from the country and a few more from neighboring countries." He smacked the papers harshly on his desk, looking at Naruto as he propped on his elbows and entertained his fingers together and rested his head on the back of his fingers.

Naruto wanted to say something but he bit back his words, Sasuke was only trying to ensure that he would get through this first round of competitors. He should be holding his tongue and listen to advice, he wasn't in any position to complain at this point, things would only get harder, there was no room for any sort of whining, he couldn't screw this up.

Even if it meant putting up with Sasuke.

Sharp blue eyes glanced to Sasuke, concentrating for a good minute before he crossed his arms, letting out a shallow huff, feeling irritated for allowing Sasuke to continue.

He gave a begrudging nod.

Sasuke dutifully continued, his voice taking a softer approach as he appreciated Naruto's attempt to withhold from speaking.

Going straight to the point Sasuke pointed out "Your techniques are mediocre in contrast to your excellent ability to observe colour. Since we have strong competition, we need to prepare you to make a unique impression with the first set of judges, about seventy percent will fall out from poor skill or otherwise, the second set will look closer at the artworks, taking time to analyze. Afterwards, only two to three percent will remain. The last stage depends on the new judges, what they want to choose as a final way to single a winner depends on them."

Ice coloured eyes focused on Sasuke's mouth, listening carefully to each syllable uttered, making mental notes along the way, finding himself strangely mesmerized by the soft lips.

"Chances of coming out as winner is slim in your current state. Which is why you need to choose something you are most passionate about and display all your emotions in it. Do not leave a single detail." He explained.

Naruto nodded numbly, slightly overwhelmed by the chunk of information that was dumped on him. Sasuke frowned and sat back into his soft seat.

"Despite my simplified explaining, you haven't understood a thing have you?" He sighed softly, why was it the brilliant artists were the most difficult to have a civilized, monotone conversation. "As they say, ignorance is bliss, things must be so simple for you."

Sasuke supposed it was because his world had dimmed into a black and white category, it made sense that talented artists were bursting with many things to say, having so much colour inside them like grenades of hues waiting to explode on go a canvas. Sasuke on the other hand was empty, his shell a grey husk of silent pain.

Naruto's eyes furrowed at the backhanded insult "I suppose you're any better?"

"Considering my intelligence, success, organization, and overall lifestyle, yes."

"There are other intelligences you know, when it comes to painting, I'm on a whole new level." Naruto mused, proud that he proved he was as smart as the next guy.

Sasuke smirked tapping his desk with his pen he held in his right hand, amused rather than impressed.

"As for today, your 'intelligence' can be put to the test then. Impress me." His hand slid some blank squares of sketch paper towards Naruto.

Naruto stared confusedly at Sasuke, an eyebrow quirked up in curiosity.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the missed obviousness of his silent suggestion.

"Draw out something." Sasuke answered. "Not forced. Something that's had a large impact on your life, can be a small or big change. Anything will work, which is why it's difficult to tell the difference between true art and glamorized finger painting. True art has purpose. Show me which one you fall under.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wringing his fingers together in a rather tentative manner; his eyes darting back and forth to Sasuke and the ground.

"Um, I already have a good idea of what I am doing but...I usually paint stuff, then branch from it, I never really painted anything directly related to my purpose, there's multiple parts that creates my inspiration, art isn't so fickle." He mumbled, sounding as if he was talking to himself rather than Sasuke.

"If you play it safe, then you might as well give up. With a half asssed excuse like that, you won't get anywhere, so to save time, you either give up a small part of privacy to earn a shot of winning or leave this building, there are sacrifices you need to make right now." Smoky pools of colour intensified, Sasuke often lied to get what he wanted, so at the moment he should have stood up and realize what a huge mistake he was doing. Naruto Uzumaki was talented, much more talented than Sasuke could allow his pride to admit, but somehow, every time he looked in his direction, his smooth lies would come out as solid truths and warnings; he just couldn't lie to such an open face.

Marine blue eyes were clear watery windows to something akin to honesty, golden lashes decorating the edges like a windowpane.

Topping it all with a blooming smile that seemed too kind for reality to have raised it. Sasuke would have assumed Naruto had lived a simple life going through normalcy like the fortunate few born in good families, but what stopped him from assuming such things was when they got into the topic of art.

They'd talk about the things Naruto had painted, the things he wanted to paint, Naruto's eager smile would shorten, still smiling but tighter, as if Naruto stubbornly forced his nerves to hold the smile in place, but it seemed he never failed in fooling anyone with it, except for Sasuke, because he was too familiar with that bittersweet smile, his old friend had smiled like that when hiding a wounded feeling, Sasuke had thought his company had been enough to ease the pain, but he knew it wasn't, he almost wished he could go back and act more honest, but he was grown up now, an adult. A walking column of cold ice.

There were rules for a reason.

The insulted look Naruto gave persuaded Sasuke to repeat himself in a much more considerate approach.

"Something personal will get attention, it will intrigue and fascinate them. The rawer the emotion, the better." Or at least he tried.

"Try drawing the first thing that comes to mind." Sasuke offered the pen in his hand to Naruto.

The golden haired glanced at the paper and pen before glancing at Sasuke.

Eventually Naruto stretched his alarm and gently took the pen in his rough right hand, the anxiety that knotted in his stomach began unwinding as the ball of the pen began to roll favorably in smooth strokes. Slowly, Naruto's face drained of emotion, eyes settling on the fibre of paper, following the lines before he finally set down the pen. He slid the paper towards Sasuke modestly.

The sudden personality change had caught Sasuke off guard, his hand was still touching the paper, carefully, Sasuke laid his hand on the opposite side of the paper, tugging gently to see of Naruto was truly giving him permission to see what he had drew.

Blood ran cold, it was the same sensation as drinking frigid water with an empty stomach, only this time, he felt it everywhere, and it gripped his.

The circular logo's top half was red, the bottom white, extending with a white rectangle.

A Japanese Uchiha fan.


	16. Ephemeral

**EPHEMERAL**

(adj.) Lasting for a very short time.

* * *

"What." His voice was heavy and dangerous. His eyes carried a pure intent to kill in the gleam of his dark colored eyes, waves of fury building inside.

Naruto swallowed heavily, was it not good enough? The fan meant a lot to Naruto, or perhaps Sasuke needed an explanation. Before he could do so, the wealthy man had parted his lips,

his voice had dropped an octave to the point where it stung a poisonous violet.

"Explain." He demanded, not giving any time for Naruto to question why with his glare, getting up to his feet, Naruto doing the same to prevent himself from feeling below Sasuke.

Being a shorter fuse, Naruto found himself finding Sasuke's sudden attitude insulting and infuriating after he had followed Sasuke's instructions.

"You asked me to draw something and I drew this." He defended, narrowing his soft indigo eyes, jutting chin out, and giving a tight-lipped smile from refraining from raising his voice. However, he did take a step forward to emphasize that he wasn't in the wrong whatever the issue might have been about.

Sasuke's anger wasn't simmering down, his blood was no longer frozen it had reached the boiling point of spilling in the form of violence and blood. Flashes of intense pain shot through his spine, but Sasuke refused to emotionally express how he felt. that would have been giving in. He wasn't weak like that. Wanting to feel compassion from someone was weakness in it's cowardly form.

Rage encompassed his limbs, Sasuke slammed his fist against his wooden table, perfectly against the sketch he had just seen, the wood already quivering from the abuse.

"Where did you see this?" His voice sounding tight at the end of his sentence, voice was pitched and squeaky.

Sasuke wouldn't stand for this, the man before him must have hated him to go this far to hurt him, to bring back the burning grief of the reminder that he had no family because of his own blood. Everyone Sasuke loved had left him. It was selfish to blame the dead, but who else could Sasuke place the blame? There wasn't any other place to eternal rage inside of him, letting it go would be admitting defeat to the one who caused Sasuke's hardened soul, he'd have nothing left.

His family's sign was evidence of their existence, the reminder of what happened, bringing flashes of hungry fire devouring the pieces of his family, Itachi appearing before Sasuke with a mad smile, teeth showing brightly.

Defiance was Naruto's initial reaction, but it drew back when he took in consideration of the odd circumstances. Sasuke Uchiha was the type to straighten his back, walk an unbreakable path, and rise to power efficiently without breaking a sweat, which maintaining a mask devoid of emotion, was vital. The outburst wasn't irrational, something about the logo had made Sasuke snap. Like he had accidentally stepped into a sensitive area. The logo was connected with his old friend and Sasuke, it couldn't have been a coincidence, there was a common connection. Although it may have seemed a bit foolish to get his hopes up, Naruto had a good feeling with this clue, it want like the other duds he came across.

Understanding that the situation would lighten if he confessed, Naruto settled with a deep breath to release any aggressive emotions, wanting to progress without any frustrating argument "It originated from a boy I met at the original orphanage I stayed at. When he first arrived, he was empty." He could almost relive the scene, ash filled eyes with no shine of life to them. Sasuke was silently patient, the tight lines around his eyes loosened, the desperate eyes anticipated for something, seeming unsure what he was waiting for, Naruto wasn't sure why the feeling was mutual.

Nonetheless, he continued, surprised to find the nervousness gone, finding serene calm surrounding him.

"Despite his social issues, he was the only person to stand beside me without any traces of shame. Hate to say it, but he was pretty cool, everyone wanted to be around him, it would have been a simple pick and choose for him to live an accepted life, unlike me." He found himself tempted at chuckling from the reversed situation, Naruto had started off with less than nothing, building it from there, he wasn't alone anymore; friends, and family were what eased the lonely feelings he was born with, but he refused to let go of the past. Anger wasn't what he felt, it was the horrible sensation of dry relief of escaping something unhappy in exchange for leaving someone behind. Naruto wasn't stupid to assume he left behind his friend, but continuing on his own life without a word of goodbye made him feel as if he had abandoned his best friend to an unknown future.

"He gave me a brush to help tame my ratty hair since it was so knotted, the brush had this symbol on it, I admit I teased him for such an out of character action, but you know what? I was happy he cared enough to give something for me to keep, to call my own."

Sasuke shifted his gaze to his desk, he remained wordless though, contemplating a thought, or so Naruto deducted.

"But I was selfish, I didn't do anything to return the kindness. Never did I even ask what happened in his past for him to end up at an orphanage, calling myself his friend was a lie if I didn't know that much. Before I could even think about it, couple of older kids who didn't like me, thought it'd be funny to watch me drown like some animal."

Sasuke gave away his uneasiness by the sharp intake of air, some colour deserting his cheeks, Naruto offered a reassuring smile, reminding him that he was fine by the fact he was still alive.

"Gotta say, when I was tied in a river during winter, I was tired and peaceful almost, I felt drowsy for a lot of the time, luckily I wasn't that much of an idiot to give into sleeping. I didn't want to die yet. My friend came. Tried to carry me, but he was still a kid, still very tiny. When I blacked out, I was so sure I'd finally die. When I woke up, I was devastated to find out my friend had been adopted. We never said goodbye. He abandoned me, and I abandoned him."

Smooth ash eyes looked up to Naruto's regretful ones, the ash collided with raging storms; something was clashing in side of Sasuke.

The brunette was aware of this, but he wouldn't allow himself to speak, the chance of an unsteady voice was disgraceful to his pride, he needed to relax his throat since the muscles clenched in hope.

Hope was such an ugly thing. Bringing lies that could be truths in a dream. If this were a dream, Sasuke had a fair idea of where this was headed. Naruto had shared a story of his past that was too similar to his own, the clan symbol of his family had reared itself again from Naruto. Two coincidences which had to mean Naruto was a close friend from the past.

But reality had a way of snapping off hope when Sasuke was at the edge of reaching it, so Sasuke knew better than to trust this. Life wasn't some fairy-tale.

"You're eyes get so lively." Naruto began, softly whispering "Gray storms fighting with black waters, settling once you have your resolve, hardening like clay. Just like my friend. He'd lower his guard sometimes and laugh, immediately hardening once he realized he had shown a side of himself to me. Stupid jerk never really accepted the friendship, then again, you both have piss poor social skills."

Sasuke's eyes sparked to life at the sentence, his eyes focused on Naruto's words, not noticing the faint lines of a smile beginning to carve into his lips.

"So there. You have my reason. My friend that I owe so much, is somewhere in this city, I need to return the favour he'd done for me, I just hope he isn't too corrupted, it's my fault for forcing him to be my friend and not his, I was selfish, never taking the time to understand his feelings." Surges of warmth and unnamed passion began to feed Naruto's voice, the soft tone of his words beginning to rise in sincerity, inching closer to the truth Naruto hid from himself.

"He knew me the best because he tried to be my friend, even though he was the worst at expressing it, he opened up to me more than anyone else, even if it was just a little, it meant something. Chasing him is my only chance to tell him how I really felt, I can't explain it… but when the idea of my friend hurting because no one is there, makes me hurt. It's my turn to shoulder his pain, because after the years, I've lost people too."  
"What difference does that make?" Sasuke suddenly asked, unsure why he had felt curious enough to ask questions.

"Out of everyone I've met in my life, I can finally admit… I love him. Naruto finally said, finding exhaustion flood into his body of discovering the secret of his determined search.

"I know I love him, even if I don't know what kind of love it is, I know it's real."

Sasuke's eyes were hidden by his bangs since his head tilted down. The sound of shifting on his leather seat disturbed the silence and Naruto prepared himself for the harsh words that he knew was coming.

"Go ahead, it's not like you to get so apprehensive about opinions. I won't take it personal." Naruto assured, wanting to get the session over with, if Sasuke said anything harsh, he'd brush it off, but that doesn't mean he'd like to stick around being told he was an idiot searching for someone that could be dead for all he knew.

Expecting arrogance to sneer at his naivety―or the very least, some neutral opinion that he couldn't care less about his past, he was surprised to suddenly have warm breath caressing over his face before he felt a force jerk him closer to close the gap by something pleasant pressing his lips, the tip of a tongue poking on to his. Small pinched of pain tugged on his head when the fingers entwined in his hair when Naruto unconsciously responded to the lip locking.

He took a step back, pushing Sasuke off him before the tight fingers gripping the back of his cranium, pushing forward. Hormones began to shift, aroused by the crisp rush of citrus and smooth after scent of cucumber filled Naruto's nose. Normally he'd find the overwhelming colognes with multiple scents overpowering and borderline obnoxious, but something about it mixed with Sasuke's scent made it entrancing to his body; he couldn't help but melt into the kissing, pressing his body closer, hips flexing forward to create some friction from the rising heat he felt build from the mild stimulation. The kiss became harder, teeth began to mash, bringing in pinches of pain from the force both applied to their kissing.

Normally Naruto wasn't the type to simply go along with sudden groping and kissing, it didn't mean he didn't have a sex drive, he just desired a close relationship first to actually deem sexual acts as something appropriate; but somehow all train of thought hid themselves under instinct, allowing his desires take over for the moment, pushing further into an untamed passion.

Electrical surges of numbing desire began to eat at Naruto's nerves, drowning his body in something entirely intense and foreign. Soon Sasuke's teasing tongue slid violently in to interact dominantly over Naruto's tongue, forcing it to follow the rubbing and stroking of his sensitive mouth.

This impulsive move had shook Naruto enough to snap out of the heated kiss once the brunettes tongue sensually teased the side of his tongue, becoming greedier with every stroke.

Shifting his eyes in curiosity, Naruto noticed the way their lips had still been connected by a string of saliva, the cherry coloured swelling that rose on Sasuke's pale lips was tempting, and the lusty gleam of his eyes and cheeks were radiantly staring at Naruto.

Swallowing heavily, pushing away the animalistic desires to gather his comprehending thoughts to properly calm himself. Before Naruto had processed what had happened, Sasuke was the one to speak first.

"I always knew you were an airhead… I just never expected this level of complete idiocy from you. Going this far to find me, It's almost endearing." Sasuke confessed with a bittersweet tone, shaking his head for the disappointment Naruto was in for once the naïve blonde processed this newly revealed information. Of course it didn't explain why Sasuke had kissed Naruto, in actuality, Sasuke didn't know either.

The dreams were borderline nightmares with the way the dreams fluctuated with his composure and emotions, disturbing the steeled resolve he had, tormenting his mind into believing that there was something more to his scheduled life than his revenge he was closing in on. It was best described as a panicked instinct that numbed parts of his brain into thinking a kiss would have been appropriate.

Sasuke hadn't realized it yet, but he had been wallowing in his own darkness and pain that the moment anything resembled welcoming, his body would lunge at it out of desperation, because his subconscious yearned to be saved, but his mind believed nothing could shoulder his burden he carried.

Kissing Naruto had been his own emotions rejoicing that someone had searched for him, but it was turned to a manipulative action to push Naruto away. A person like Naruto had the ability to influence others, that was clearly shown through Neji and his art, which was why Naruto was an obstacle for Sasuke's resolve to hunt down his older brother. Sasuke could almost feel it happening, thoughts of revenge disappearing to the appealing daydreams of a chance of living peacefully with someone who'd love him unconditionally. It was tempting. Which was why Naruto had to go before his hatred surrenders to Naruto's warmth.

Naturally, Naruto was confused to what was going through Sasuke's head with all the sudden unexplained actions. First came the aggressive demand to know the reason behind Naruto's sketch, then he found himself being forcefully persuaded into lip locking, now he was left with Sasuke finding him endearing.

"What are you-" Like simple math, the logical part of his brain connected the puzzle pieces of blanked memories and blurred voices. An arrogant smile would decorate a young looking Asian boy, pretty almond eyes dipped in fondness disguised as disdain. Yes. This was what he had missed. Sasuke Uchiha was his best friend as a child. Although his best friend had changed considerably over the years (not without reason), Naruto found the powerful air around Sasuke the same.

"Could you love someone as cold hearted as me? Or was that just another lie?" Dark eyes cynically taunted.


	17. Phosphenes

**PHOSPHENES**

(n.) The light and colours produced by rubbing your eyes.

* * *

When you experience an unexpected fear of being betrayed, the sensation often leaves your heart a pounding mess; just like when walking up the stairs at night, taking an extra step that was assumed to have been there, only to realize there was no extra step, giving a sense of falling. Heart jumps desperately as the momentum of the body is unable to save itself from crashing into the ground. The pain that would inevitably arrive once a person crashes into something is what brings the fear.

As the heart drops and sinks into panic, senses begin to heat up, arms try to grapple on to something to stop falling sensations, the flipping of the stomach creates a dizzy effect.

Fear of falling is the main thing to think about, because the body had failed its duty in being aware of the stairs, betraying the controller of the body. Betrayal often ends with pain and disappointment. Just like when someone loses hope.

Of course, all of that is cut short once the feeling of flat ground assures the mind. The heart and body would have lingering waves of relief out of safety.

So the whole matter pops a question; If doubting one's body, would one still be able to maintain faith in others?

This would have been a key question to ask Naruto since his heart was fluttering and tripping over its usual beats.

"Could you love someone as cold hearted as me? Or was that just another lie?"

Naruto shakily took a step back as a tight wave of shock struck his stomach. As a man who practically worshipped surprise, he found himself more confused rather than joyful, which was vexing. All these past years, Naruto had been searching for his friend without rest. Now, he'd found him, the only issue was that he never expected it to be Sasuke Uchiha; that he had unknowingly confessed to, which meant Sasuke had been playing him for any amount of time from their first meeting.

Sasuke wasn't offended by the distance placed between them when Naruto stumbled back in obvious shock. In fact, he took pride in Naruto's flabbergasted twist in expression. Sasuke mistook this shock for fear, like being caught in a lie. First would come the shock, the disgust, and then denial.

"But I thought you'd be harder to find… if you knew who I was, why didn't you say anything?" he asked with a shallow breath, still caught off guard to find that his best friend was under his nose all this time.

He should have been happy―which he was― but he was finding himself rejecting the idea of his childhood best friend being Sasuke by his conflicted feelings of dislike and like. Sasuke Uchiha is that same person as his best friend, but before he knew that, he believed Sasuke was someone complicated and harsh. Now that Sasuke Uchiha was Naruto's best friend with a difficult past, the optimistic flaxen man couldn't help but develop an internal struggle with his moral compass to his impatience.

Luckily, due to Naruto's impatient nature, the momentary conflict settled quickly. Sasuke was still someone important to Naruto's life. There was no 'ifs' or 'buts'. Nothing changed his goal. Staying in Sasuke's life would have been a preferred settlement, but if Sasuke truly desired nothing to do with him, Naruto would return the favour Sasuke had paid him, and leave.

"Well… If you haven't noticed, I've been refereed as a business genius. Which brings forth many opportunists trying to win my affections."

Sasuke strolled in a smooth manner to Naruto, for some reason his eyes were dead ash, and they spoke of something akin to hatred.

It wasn't towards to Naruto though.

"That symbol you drew was my family's. It wouldn't have been surprising to come across a journalist who wanted to dig up some dirt regarding my biological family." To hear more about his family's slaughter. To find something controversial to bring light to the media to agitate Sasuke.

Sasuke leaned over to Naruto, smirking at the flinching at the frozen euclase pools that stared at him, offering swirls of something soft and muted, like smoke if not for the sloe flecks in his eyes. Naruto's fingers trembled in anxiety, his fingers clenching together to tighten his resolve when the daring blonde had met with steeled eyes. "What are you―" he began to ask, finding the closeness oddly dangerous.

In a teasing whisper and a cold expression Sasuke asked "Are you here to use me?"

_Like the rest?_

Alarm had softened to empathy at the question. Realization finally arrived. Sasuke was trying to push him away. Somehow Naruto knew, the reasoning behind his stubbornness was possibly from the wavering glare. It was a solid threat through intense eyes, but the faint tremor in the narrowed eyes told Naruto leaving would mean he'd given up. That wasn't an option until he got the chance to return the favour Sasuke had done for him.

Sasuke couldn't have wanted to be alone. No one could ever enjoy loneliness. This was a truth Naruto understood too well through the years of growing with loneliness. Something was blocking Sasuke from allowing the brunette to accept any joy.

It must have been terrible to have to swim in constant distrust. If Naruto had arrived earlier, Sasuke's eyes would've been filled with energy instead of hollow anger, already expecting the worse to happen― in any case, Naruto refused to give into to Sasuke's pessimistic expectations, if Sasuke thought mere words could push him away, he'd have to gather an army to even have the strong artist to consider leaving.

Shaking his head, Naruto pressed soft fingers along Sasuke's chiselled jaw, moving up as his hand eventually cupped the agitated face, gliding to the chin. The air in Sasuke's lungs shrunk, surprised by the foreign gesture that had selfless intentions.

"That's not it. I could never use you. For the last couple of years, I've been trying to contact you again. When I had been told you were gone when I woke up cram nearly freezing to death, it was the worst moment of my life. Everything around me seemed to have grown bigger, my chest tightened, and my blood ached. When you left I should have searched for you… but I didn't because I thought you moved on."

Sasuke's hand twitched at Naruto's soft words.

"Why didn't you keep it that way? Everyone else did."

Naruto felt his body stiffen remembering how he had turned his back on Sasuke for his own selfish wants. As a child, Naruto only bothered to feel sorry for himself instead of empathising with the other orphaned children around him, not even Sasuke was an excepting to his old nature. Growing up changed Naruto, he experienced extreme loss, having a taste of despair which tormented his heart.

All the overflowing angst and grief threw Naruto into icy waters. Others had experienced the same feeling of loss, especially among young orphans. Sasuke had suffered, and Naruto never cared enough to think about it until he lost his godfather Jiraya Sanin. Both had met at a ramen stand when Jiraya had commented on Naruto's name and how ironic it was for Naruto's favorite dish to be ramen―the meaning of his name.

It was revealed Jiraya had been searching for his godson in the town since the older man received unfortunate news of the boy's parent passing.

Taking an odd liking to the stranger, they became close drinking buddies, conversing about practically everything―becoming something akin to family. If only Naruto had known he was the godson Jiraya had been searching for, then he could have told the old man before he'd passed away.

To old age comes failure of the human body, Jiraya died so quickly, the truth about his godson having been found had been left unsaid. Jiraya died believing he failed in search of his godson, never having the joy to realize he had been by his side all along. Or perhaps, Jiraya did know, and refrained from bringing light to the truth, wanting to leave Naruto's carefree life undisturbed by his entrance, which would have hurt all the more. In some way, Naruto would have liked to think it was enough for both of them to have spent time with each other. The time spent getting to know allowed Naruto to assume Jiraya knew the truth, he wouldn't have put it past the old man, he did like bittersweet endings as it was shown in his books _The Gutsy Ninja._

The way things were heading, Sasuke was trying to end things on a bitter note. But Naruto wouldn't allow that, he was not going to be pushed away. He refused.

Naruto would have had no problem impulsively ranting about his true intentions, only, his muscles were tense at the close proximity of their bodies, his heart was loud as a drum, at least that's what it seemed like, his skin feeling light from the gentle scent that tickled his nose like petals.

Sasuke's presence was overbearing. The spicy cologne was addicting and attracting Naruto's senses, it was something exotic and natural.

"It didn't feel right, but I'm here now. No matter what, I'm not leaving this time."

Sasuke's lips thinned, his eyes fanned in disapproval. Anxiously, Naruto shifted his feet, glancing at Sasuke "Do you… uh, remember who I am?" he asked, his voice just audible enough for him to hear.

"It would be difficult for me to recall since you haven't given me much to trace back." He dryly snapped, ignoring the distasteful lie on his tongue. The businessman did remember. The fox grave, laughter, body warmth, the hungry winter, and the loss of their friendship. Sasuke had been so sure of his friend passing on to the next life, he could have sworn his childhood friend had faded with the snowfall, disappearing into pure white. The rest of the memory was jogged up. Memories of his best friend were pure like the way he died in pure snow, never to be touched by the filthy world around them. Clear eyes refused to flinch or glance away, casual breathing, and the facial scars were the same. Which was the truth?

"Oh shit you're right…" Naruto realized "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, I grew up in a pretty rough orphanage… You came to the orphanage when you were a kid… you were there at the fox grave I built."

"I remember that."

Nodding at Sasuke's words, Naruto dared to ask a dangerous question "So… what was the kiss about?"

Sniffing softly, Sasuke tilted his chin upwards, looking from the side he answered "Just wanted to observe the reaction."

"So―" Naruto wetted his lips "You were playing with me."

"That wasn't my intention." He defended.

"But that's what you were doing." The golden man pointed out on the blatant excuse.

Smirking, Sasuke dropped his eyes to Naruto's face "Perhaps."

"Then you remember." Naruto found himself smiling at the soft nod Sasuke gave. Holding his smile, the truth's weight dropped on Naruto like rocks. This was it. Sasuke Uchiha was his lost friend. The search was over, the years he spent tracking Sasuke's location without a name to follow proved rewarding.

 _I sound like some kind of stalker now…_ Naruto admitted to himself, conflicted on whether to feel happy or embarrassed. Oh well, at this point, he didn't care.

"Of course I did. You were my best friend."

A soft sigh escaped Naruto, disappointment tickled his chest. Being an idealist, Naruto hadn't wanted to believe Sasuke had made peace of their friendship ending

"Disappointed?" Sasuke inquired, his eye a cold dark shadow, finding the fall of expression the first sign of rejection. He was going to exploit while he was ahead.

Thinning his lips, Naruto shook his head "No." his hand reached to rub the back of his neck "Just wish I woke up earlier in the hospital so I could have said a goodbye."

The hard expression Sasuke carried had immediately fell "You're here now."

Finding his smile returning, Naruto nodded "That's true." Blue eyes glanced at the old brush with affection. "But I owe you a lot for helping me."

"From what?"

"Accepting me."

Sasuke didn't say a word. Taking the silence as rejection, Naruto huffed softly, reaching to grab his sketches. "I'll go redesign this, had I known I already found you, I wouldn't have used your family's logo, sorry about th-"

"Why did you use it?" Smooth words flowed out, careful eyes observed Naruto from afar, stopping Naruto from withdrawing the last sketch.

Without hesitation "By using your family's symbol, I knew it would have gotten a rise out of you, that'd you'd seek me out to angrily rant."

"How could you possibly guess that? Time changes people."

Naruto shrugged "You wore it every as a kid, just figured it was something you took pride in. Like they say 'Time won't change me, but I can't change time."

Ignoring the odd reference, Sasuke chose to return to his seat, unsure how to feel of the current situation which promoted Naruto to sit as well.

The soft cushion wheeled back as Sasuke took a seat, he frowned at the rough sketch of his beloved crest, staring at it brought pulses of dizziness, sending images of fire in his head, a voice calling him. Before he could identify the voice, Naruto spoke up with uncertainty.

"Is it alright if I keep my plans to use it?"

"Didn't you say you were going to redesign your sketches?"

"Redesigning them isn't an issue, changing my inspiration theme is… Don't get me wrong, there's a lot that I find inspirational, it's just..." Naruto's eyes softened, his face beginning to twist in happiness. "You were the root of it all. The starting point that I always wondered about, regretted for never bearing your burden even though you carried mine."

Sasuke nodded after minimal contemplation, he doubted Naruto's intentions were impure. In addition, he felt warm affection pour into his hollowed heart, which irritated him, but he couldn't bring himself to hurt Naruto with his usual words of harshness. It wasn't in him to inflict pain to those who never hurt him.

"If that's the case, do as you wish as long as it doesn't violate the terms of the event."

Appreciating the odd turn of leniency, Naruto agreed with a nod.

Biting the inside of his cheek, impatience overtook Naruto "Why did you kiss me?" he finally asked, clear eyes looking for an earnest answer, the tips of his ears were a shade pinker than its natural hue.

"Are you that much of an airhead to have forgotten that I wanted to test you?"

The red from his ears quickly stained his cheeks and neck. "No, you don't have to be such a bitch about it though. Besides, there are different types of skills than memory."

Sneering, Sasuke shook his head "That's only an excuse for others to feel better about their inferiority."

Opening his mouth to retaliate with an equally snide remark, Naruto stopped. Instead, he laughed off the pain of the returning flashes of how he had been treated during his first few years in school. Despite the school's slogan to be "Courteous, and respectful," Naruto was treated with spreading malice against him. Teachers purposely lead him to fail, ignoring any of the fighting that was against him.

"For some people I suppose."

Narrowing his eyes, Sasuke found Naruto's reply displeasing. Rejection was an obvious factor that had changed Naruto's attitude. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

"What's this? Sasuke Uchiha being kind? It must be my birthday." Naruto joked, knowing there wasn't much humour in his sentence.

Wanting to get back on track, Sasuke transitioned their conversation back to the sketches "Regarding your plans, what's your colour scheme?"

Sasuke had a fair idea of what it could be based on Naruto's clothes and personality. Radiating warmth and happiness with every movement, unknowingly rejuvenating other's spirits. Extroverted and uninhibited in the best ways. Naruto was an open book of emotions and trust, brightly encouraging.

There it was, that smile glowed brighter "Orange, blue, violet, lime, and yellow. Different hues splashed together."

"Anything else?" he asked, wanting a clearer understanding of what Naruto had in mind for the first entry, Sasuke wouldn't be satisfied unless he had complete knowledge of Naruto's plans, he simply had to know.

"Black. It's not a colour, it's a–"

"Shade." Sasuke finished. Before either could add on to the slowing conversation, Sasuke cellphone rang. He had a meeting with a new pastel industry, recent pastel had been growing in popularity with its soft cloudy tones and cotton colours, he wouldn't lose out on an opportunity to branch his company out more. Glancing at his phone, Sasuke felt frustration at the idea of having to leave when he still had many questions to ask Naruto. All this time, he believed he was alone, ever since his family died, revenge was the only thing on his mind until he became friends with someone different. It changed a part of Sasuke meeting Naruto for the first time. They both lost their family, but Naruto never experienced family love before. That was the difference and reason Sasuke had never contacted Naruto; the blond just never knew it was like to lose a family, but now, the older shade of blue and softer appearance of his friend told something akin to tragedy. It was likely Naruto lost someone he considered family.

But that was another topic to bring up for another time.

Getting up, Sasuke offered a reassuring nod "Your ideas aren't bad, keep up the work and maybe it'll be up to my standards." He smiled.

"Oh than-wait, what do you mean by that?!" Naruto snapped at the arrogance in his voice and face.

"Nothing that wasn't obvious." Sasuke replied over Naruto's banter, finding it amusing and uplifting at the vigorous energy Naruto brought to him. "And Naruto?"

Blue stained eyes looked up "Yeah?"

"Although we're here again, for your own sake, don't assume we're best friends." The venom in Sasukes was bluntly harsh.

Before the brunette could escape, Naruto couldn't help but boldly dive for his question "Why are you being so cold?"

Dark eyes were impassive when they met Naruto's eyes, looking right through him "You'd be amazed by my reasons."

Slowly he left the room, leaving Naruto in his office, simmering in confusion and guilt.

* * *

As Naruto gathered his things to leave as well and catch up with the cheeky brunette, he received a text. Press down on the side, the screen flickered, and showed that Neji had requested to meet at a bar that night.

Quickly, Naruto texted back.

_'You couldn't have asked me earlier? I got things to do, got places to go :p How'd you get my cell number?'_

_'A meeting was cancelled today, Sasuke has your number and sent it to me to contact you for any changes in the rules or expectations of the upcoming art event.'_

Not that Naruto actually had anything planned for the rest of the day, he just enjoyed getting a rouse out of his friends, especially new ones since it made them more honest when he asked them questions, he was that type of man. But he was a good friend despite this frustrating characteristic.

 _'What do U hve in mind?'_ he texted back, shoving his phone in his pocket, gathering the approved papers into a neat pile before he headed out, surprised to find Neji waiting out the building in his waxed car.

"Is the bar any good? I have a rare day off, thought we could catch up on our history." Neji's smug smile caught Naruto off, before Neji smiled light opal were shining. Finding the atmosphere infectious, Naruto returned the smile and nodded, heading to the car, never noticing the text he received from Sasuke.

"I got time today." And he sat right next to Neji, the leather a shiny smooth surface on his skin.

"Especially for this beauty of a car."

* * *

The classy bar was filled with sophisticated exchange of words; the soft, light, mesmerizing, piano echoed with the soft singing, easing the tension to the customers of the bar, blocking out any stressful thoughts.

Naruto of course could never afford to buy a drink in such a place where the shot glasses were made of crystal, and offered rich wine with a cherry aftertaste.

But Neji insisted on bringing Naruto to his favorite bar, he had seen Naruto in the building and invited him, he couldn't pass the chance of spending some time with him.

Naruto eagerly agreed, telling Neji he had good news of finding his friend again, and how ironic it was. Neji wanted to share his enthusiasm, but he had a hard time doing so when Naruto explained what happened between him and Sasuke that morning.

Of course he had the mind to refrain from telling Neji that Sasuke kissed him passionately just to test his honesty, just remembering the kiss made the skin of his lips and tongue tingle and ache for another taste, it would have been humiliating if he could only accomplish that much. A date was required before kissing could ensue. Not that Naruto was interested in Sasuke for that reason.

"Sasuke was your lost friend after all this time." Neji concluded with an irritated breath, finding his fingers tighten a little on his cup of sweet vermouth, he kept his bitterness at bay though to keep it hidden from Naruto's observing eyes.

"Not surprised." He tasted dry sweetness on lips, the mild taste of crystal cooled him. Sasuke was always the composed mystery man that women and men fought over, it had seemed his looks were attracting Naruto as well. It was still the same; from the start of high school Sasuke was first for his looks, charisma, and money; Neji was always second. He picked at his small salad and stabbed the thinly sliced cucumber with his fork and brought it to his mouth to chew softly. The watery liquid was decorated with a tangy, bursting sour taste that Neji savoured, it was just chilled enough to appeal to his sensitive palate, strong flavours were overpowering for him. The fact Naruto hasn't realized this made it all the more painful to deal with.

"Luckily for me..." Naruto sipped his chilled beer, he never drank often, but this was an excusable night, it was to celebrate; he had reached his destination, but not his goal. Naruto still had so much to do to accomplish his goal. From what Naruto observed, Sasuke was unhappy; to make up for never getting to know his burdens, Naruto would carry them all and change them to something happier. Even if Sasuke could never accept him, Naruto could at least find someone that made him happy, that way he'd leave with a satisfied heart.

"Things are starting to look up."

"I can see where you're coming from, but..." Neji began, finishing his salad and wiping the corners of his mouth of the creamy dressing.

"Why would you go so far with him?" He folded the paper napkin in half and placed it in his bowel to be taken by the waiter.

He looked to Naruto to further explain his confusion of Naruto's resolve.

No matter what sort of past or closeness they had shared as children, wasn't this going a bit too far?

"As kids, I found him intriguing… and he felt the same, we became friends, but he was the only one out of the friendship that took time to understand the different parts of me no one cared to get to know. I was young at the time to realize I liked him more than a friend." Naruto bluntly admitted, he didn't think much of his sentence until he saw Neji's pause and horrified expression. Naruto blushed when he processed on how his sentence came out.

"Like a brother of course." He added, taking note of the immediate relief in Neji's expression.

"We were like siblings, or at least I thought so." Naruto's arm stretched out to chew on the plate of baked potatoes chips, enjoying the flavour of barbecue dance on his tongue.

"What do you plan to do if that's not the case?" Neji inquired curiously. Neji paused for a moment and looked at the bartender to order himself a whiskey.

"Tsk, I could always try to convince him, of that doesn't work, I'll try harder." Naruto told, like he was talking about the weather. Obviously feeling reluctant to the mere idea of leaving his best friend.

"Why go through all that trouble?" Neji asked, hoping Naruto didn't mean it when he said he wouldn't give up, the idea of watching to golden laced blue eyes yearn for someone else sent tremors of falling down his spine, settling in his feet as uncomfortable balls of needles.

"When I first met Sasuke the 'asshole', I spilt a drink all over his sassy ass. My friend Shikamaru knew him and suddenly had the ingenious idea to propose that I audition to represent an art company." Naruto rolled his eyes to the memory of Sasuke sputtering at the idea when it was presented.

Naruto found this new quality of Sasuke rather annoying, everyone knew from the start of childhood, that being greedy was wrong but they eventually chose money as they enter adulthood. Iruka always told Naruto that it was important to make the right choices instead of choosing the easy choices.

"Of course, I objected at the idea of having to work with such a jerk, but I could barely afford my apartment at the time, with no good income I didn't have much to keep my apartment or afford that much, so the manager wanted to kick me out because I kept requesting an extension to pay rent, crazy bastard I swear." He vowed to Neji, chuckling. He was surprised at Neji's narrowed eyes.

The waiter gave the cup of whiskey to Neji silently, winking at Neji while his hand slid down his back for a brief second, not enough to be called sexual harassment, but he wasn't ignorant to brush it off as an accidental stroke of contact when it was by purpose. Neji returned an icy warning to the flirtatious man, bringing out a disappointed huff as the waiter brushed it off. Neji drank his cup, ignoring the burning liquid down his throat, boiling in the pit of his stomach.

He settled his attention back to Naruto.

"Naruto why didn't you inform me of this? Such a simple issue could have been dealt without problems."

Naruto flinched at Neji's fierce outburst, this being the first time witnessing the classy man losing his composure; Neji was quick to realize his temper was flaring at a dangerously high rate. He cleared his throat and took another long gulp of his whiskey, it burned his throat a bit but the aftereffects left a blissfully numb throb in his head that made everything feel less intense.

"You know, living with me would've been better, I wouldn't have ever kicked you out on the streets." Neji breathed, purposely making it so Naruto would hear his words. The words shocked Naruto, unclear if it was a positive reaction or a negative one.

He finished the rest of his whiskey, where Naruto ordered some cold water, deciding that alcohol wasn't a good idea for tonight. Naruto was all for a night of debauchery, but he didn't want stopover the line with Neji, from Naruto understood, the air painted around Neji was much more silver than him, a graceful dove doesn't commit reckless deeds if not tricked.

Being a man of conscience, Naruto wanted to make sure Neji's pride was intact

"Neji, I get you want to help me out for our friendship, but I would never accept that money. I'm not a charity."

"I never said you we-"

"―And I never implied you were saying that." Naruto shook his head modestly and continued to reason why he absolutely couldn't accept Neji's generous. As attempting as it was, Naruto would have felt like he was taking advantage of Neji if he accepted, it just wouldn't sit well with him.

"But I just like working hard without having to ask for help on things that are in my own power to fix, being helpless isn't me, which was why I already started packing to move to a better apartment. Besides, I didn't know where you were before joining you guys remember?"

Neji felt conflicted, he was certainly satisfied of Naruto's choice to move somewhere better since he could afford it now, but it contrasted with his sinking disappointment that Naruto wouldn't' be sharing a roof with him, he wouldn't have minded the warm spirited company, lately he had been feeling rather lonely.

His kindred cousin had shared residence within his household up until a year ago when she moved out to start off by herself in the real world, to respect her wishes, Neji didn't stop her.

Hinata, his cousin, was prone to being sick since birth, though that never stopped her from curiously venturing out the house, it certainly caused concern for the entire family until she began to progressively develop a stronger immune system.

Being a willful lady with a quiet attitude, Hinata was simple with her goals. She wanted to travel and train herself to become stronger, so that she could prove herself to her family that took pride in martial arts.

Wanting to see her determination to grow instead of wilting, Neji helped her get away from her family to achieve this dream. Somewhere, Hinata was practicing her balance and instincts in the mountains of Asia, getting closer and closer to her goal.

Neji would also, get closer to his goal.

"I insist Naruto you stay with me, you wouldn't need to waste your money to get to the Uchiha corps, I would drive us both to our workplaces." Neji attempted to keep up his persuasion, hoping Naruto would bend at his quiet forcefulness; that he would be able to help Naruto live an easier life, he'd show it to Naruto if words couldn't push the bright man in the right direction.

Right into safety, away from Sasuke's manipulative hands. Naruto still believed that Sasuke was a man of honesty, which would lead to a disappointing truth. Sasuke might have been a child with a good heart when they last met as children, but Neji had witnessed the distasteful and twisted ways of Sasuke growing up.

Allowing Sasuke to use Naruto would be crossing the line for Neji, no matter what, Naruto was not going to be one of Sasuke's victims, he wouldn't allow another tragedy to occur. No more pain, he had enough of the cliché tragedies.

Overwhelmed at Neji's unusual forwardness, Naruto reminded himself that this turn of behaviour was likely due to the alcohol Neji had consumed, besides the occasional slur in his sentences, Neji had gotten his worry and underlying warning through Naruto's ignorance.

Rubbing the side of his neck rather anxiously "I guess i'll consider it… Thanks." Naruto bashfully smiled, looking coy.

Naruto had known Neji was a good guy, so when he thought about it, moving in with Neji meant he could solidify their friendship, and it took one worry off his mind to give him more time to get closer to Sasuke.

Naruto a sip from his glass of iced water, pleasantly surprised to find traces of raspberry as he shifted in his cushioned stool, oddly enough, it satisfied the dryness in his throat.

"No need to thank me, I simply wanted to help out an old friend." The pale beige of his cheeks were pinched with mild pink. "Just returning a favour if it eases your conscience." The long haired man looked to Naruto with glowing opal.

The mood tempted Neji to place his hand over Naruto's sun baked skin, but he still had some restraint so he refrained himself for the night.

Naruto didn't think much of Neji's peculiar behaviour, so he shrugged it off as one of the heavy effects of whiskey.

"But that doesn't mean I can just forget about it, you're doing me a huge favour letting me stay with you. Once I find a good place I'll be out of your hair before you know it." Sky blue eyes promised with its wonder and innocence. Whenever Naruto made a promise, he meant it with every blood cell and breath.

Shaking his head, Neji's lips curled in a knowing smile. The clear gaze filled with was focused in him, bitter happiness barely filled his breaking heart. He closed his eyes momentarily to push away the heavy burn in the pit of his stomach, the smoke of unwanted emotions trying to escape his throat.

When he opened them, he felt the burn begin to cool. "Of course Naruto." At least he persuaded him to stay with him, Naruto was still fair game.

"Anyway, I have to ask, have you ever thought about settling?" Naruto asked with a teasing stare, he wondered if it Neji had found someone that softened the dark haired man's usual uptight attitude, he couldn't place his finger on it, but something changed by the passing thought he had seen Neji take.

Clearing his throated "What sort of 'settling' do you mean?" Neji asked with a flushed face, he began to wonder if it was because it was from the alcohol, heat, or because of Naruto. Maybe it was all three.

"To be blunt, an intimate lover." Naruto chuckled, taking in Neji's blush with glee, only to grin to such a reaction, Neji most certainly did find someone; a lady of true grace and strength. Neji never really placed an interest in men so that was crossed off, but he did occasionally take an interest in women, if Naruto remembered correctly, Neji dated a pretty woman with chestnut hair and eyes in high school. TenTen was her name.

She was a martial arts master, an understanding, strong, and independent female. Naruto couldn't help but wonder why they weren't together, at the time they had seemed happy.

"...O-Oh." Neji stammered "No, but I do have someone I..." He glanced at Naruto and his heart threatened to jump out of his chest when he realized Naruto was observing him closely.

"…Fancy." He finally managed to finish once he was sure his voice wouldn't quiver.

"Oh? So there is someone, you just haven't made any moves." The blonde man wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, Naruto had never seen the refined man in a stuttering, he was tempted to poke at the chance to find out whom had been so lucky to snatch Neji's distant affections.

"If you mean that my affections have yet to be voiced, you aren't wrong." The soothing music of the piano seemed to all of a sudden stop, and it felt like the seething silence was pressuring him to confess his feelings.

"What's stopping you?" Naruto question as he leaned forward.

"Because I've recently found myself admiring men than women." Neji admitted, fearful he had scared that Naruto away, Naruto was not the type of person to be prejudice, but Neji just couldn't find the heart to be sure. So far in his lifetime, many people have surprised Neji with a hidden characteristic, more often a bad thing than good.

"You don't have to be ashamed about it." In truth, this surprised Naruto, he always visualized Neji preferring to be with dainty, high-class ladies. When in reality, men where what Neji craved. Which was fine, it didn't change how Naruto felt towards Neji.

"You don't care?" Neji was relieved see Naruto still accepted him, although it was to be expected the extravagant, overbearing man to be open-minded of these sort of things.

"Of course not, I mean I'm bisexual, I'd be a hypocrite if I did." Naruto explained with enthusiasm. One of the waitresses passed by them, the wafts of vanilla left by her perfume overpowered their noses.

Neji coughed at the overwhelming smell, his nose was very sensitive to perfumes, he wished people wouldn't douse themselves in ridiculous scents, it made everything seem more artificial than it already was.

"You enjoy both genders?" Neji's voice was soft spoken much like a piano playing a lullaby. The piano in the bar softly began to play out a soft sonnet. A sweet tune that seemed to encourage the pink atmosphere, even couples were exchanging loving kisses.

Anxiously, Neji wetted his lips to calm his rising nerves, and brought his iced water to drink,

"Well, yeah. Though I don't exactly think I could handle both at the same time."

Neji nearly choked on his water, plenty of it invaded his nose.

"By guessing, you're no longer with Sakura Haruno?" He knew Sakura was not the type to stay with men like Naruto. At first, Sakura Haruno was indeed a spoiled lady, she bettered herself after her mother had left the family. He had hoped by some miracle Naruto had broken things off with Sakura during their high school years. He might have hated Sakura for taking him away.

"Recently she dumped me." Naruto answered, eating a peanut from the bowl in front of him. Naruto did love Sakura, which made it that much harder to let go, but sit recent events, Naruto couldn't help but wonder if his feelings for Sakura were platonic than romantic. Comparing his feelings towards to Sakura to Sasuke―which he felt a brotherly bund with― Sakura was a candle to the bonfire of emotions he held for the uptight Uchiha.

This was definitely a sign that Neji had been waiting for, go take this chance before a certain Uchiha did.

"Surely not." He feigned his shock. In fact inside he was jumping for joy, if he was any normal person he would have blurted out everything to Naruto.

If this were a movie, he'd stroke the side of Naruto's face, admiring the vast curves of baked skin and golden hair.

He felt his blood rush to pool into his loins, fuelling his desire.

He coughed harder and waved off Naruto's concerned look. Re-adjusting his dress shirt from the humid temperature.

Originally it was hard to believe Sakura would date someone like Naruto, she never considered Naruto because of his rough personality, she was the type to have shallow expectations, naturally it was a surprise when news broke out that they both began going out in the early spring. Neji had been heartbroken when he'd heard, that was when he turned his back to avoid facing the bitter truth. That was a truly foolish decision, to run away at something painful was cowardly.

"You can say that again, I thought she was into me, guess I was wrong though, we end things on a good note, so I can't complain. " Naruto smiled sadly, he did have great times being with Sakura, but when she brought the topic up, he couldn't deny something was astray from their relationship.

"Continue." Neji gritted through his teeth.

Hesitantly, Naruto did, the tine of Neji's voice tipped him off that something was off.

"But I figured out that she was never really a hundred percent into the relationship." Naruto admitted to both Neji and himself, finding a bitter smile begin to curl.

"But why did sh-" Neji felt hot with anger towards Sakura, why would she go out with him then?

Naruto quickly began to explain before Neji jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"She was suffering at the time...I remember the day she came up to me, she was in tears about this one guy she really liked...He'd told her that she was a disgusting whore who'd latch on to anyone who would give her attention. To be honest, I couldn't believe a person could be so cruel, now that I'm older, it's not so far fetched."

Naruto's voice sounded a bit strangulated, he finished his beer and exhaled a satisfied breath.

"She was my best friend at the time so I couldn't leave her, so when she asked to start going out, I couldn't refuse...So we dated and it turned out badly." Naruto rolled the beer in a circle with his thumbs as he encircled the brown glass with his palms.

Neji nodded slowly as Naruto continued to explain, it seemed Naruto had a reason for explaining, perhaps he'd learn something.

"We both thought of each other as siblings, which was why we agreed to stay as friends before she left for university." Naruto lifted his arms to stretch some sore muscles he had, tightening his muscles and relaxing them to release some tension that built up, Neji took the time to scan over the tanned abdomen that was revealed from his shirt being lifted.

"So I'm just waiting to find another person who sparks my life, no point in whining over spilled milk." Naruto's head tilted to the side, his eyes were sentimental and his smile was warm.

"Cause I do want to find someone I want to spend the rest of my life with."

He ordered another beer and tapped his fingers against the dark marble counter. Blue eyes began to blur like a dream.

Naruto couldn't help but daydream what it would be like to be with someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, to have complete trust and faith that you could be happy with that one person.

To love and be loved, it seemed like the best sort of life to lead, but it'd never be easy.

"Then..." Neji took a deep breath and held it in for a few seconds, exhaling, bringing an excitable rush in his veins, it was now or never.

A second passed.

Neji wasn't going to allow this chance to slip away again. He swallowed slowly, his throat was suddenly dry.

Two seconds passed.

His soft lilac eyes locked dangerously to Naruto's gentle blue ones. He licked his dry lips softly.

Three seconds passed.

He breathed in slowly, he was prepared for a rejection, was this too soon? Perhaps, but he waited too long to let Naruto slip through his fingers like water.

"Would you consider me?"

Time stopped


	18. Aurora

**AURORA**

(N.) Dawn

* * *

_"Would you consider me?"_

Shock is like a bucket of cold water, making you unable to react because the ice seeps into your bones. You feel the burning cold on your skin, but your throat is too tight and refuses to utter a single sound, let alone breathe until your body attempts to recover.

"What..." The blonde man looked up to Neji, trying to find visual proof that he heard Neji correct, surely the soft chatter around them had warped what he had heard. By the intensity of Neji's face, his assumption was proven wrong.

"What do you mean by that?" Naruto question to understand the deeper meaning of Neji's unusual request.

"Forgive me, I suppose I was a bit forward." Neji sat upright, the voices of others began to drain out when opal eyes met soft blue "I was hoping, that if you could view me in a romantic perspective." Anxiously, Neji pinched and pulled his trousers by the side, awaiting for an answer, reluctant to withdraw.

Taking Naruto's silence as confusion, he continued "I know that we've only just met after so long, but I need to ask." Neji shifted his weight to the other foot, his heart threatened to rip out of his chest with its pounding.

"But it'd be a lie to say these feelings are new. I've been fond of you for quite some time, back in high school." His fingers trailed up found themselves fiddling with the edge of his shirt.

"By the time I was able to muster my course, it was too late when you and Sakura began dating, I regretted for not telling you for fear of being rejected, which is why I'm telling you now." The pale violet eyes darted to scan Naruto's face, searching for any emotions that could tip him off of Naruto's thoughts, it wasn't difficult, Naruto was never good at hiding his feelings, it was his nature to wear his emotions out like a book.

"Why didn't you say anything before?" Naruto was baffled at the new information, while it explained many odd reactions Neji had given him, he didn't understand why Neji held on to romantic feelings instead of letting go, Naruto would have never believed that he was worth such strong emotions and dedication; while it was certainly flattering, it worried him.

Neji glanced to the side, confliction clouded the clear sapphire eyes, they needed to go to outside to talk about this sort of thing.

"Naruto." Neji stopped a moment to take a calming breath, logic was beginning to take control of his brain once again, but not enough to lose the rare burst of impulsiveness.

"We need to talk about this outside..." Neji insisted, the look in the pale lilac eyes were begging Naruto to oblige and follow the pale eyed man out the bar. Understanding the look Neji sent, Naruto obliged with appreciated compliance, sending a coy smile.

Both gentlemen stood up, paid their bill before heading out the exit, past the group of smokers which Neji attempted to hold his breath to avoid the heavy smoke puffs that were blown in their direction, he hated the smell of tobacco with a passion. It was practically powdered cancer.

Eventually they reached the back of the building, a small alley between the bar and a drugstore. What surprised Naruto was the lack of stench and unethical liquids, the bar must clean the area of body liquids on a daily basis for it to smell mildly of mint. At least area wasn't a problem for their upcoming discussion.

Naruto leaned to the side of the brick wall, cocking a leg under his other leg, his arms crossed impatiently, his blue eyes were uncertain, so he left it for Neji to start the conversation.

Under normal circumstances, a criminal would try to mug them, but one, they were in a higher class are so cameras were on 24/7 with a handful of bodyguards, and in addition, Naruto was clearly able bodied with the outline of muscle on his trained body.

That is to say, Neji wasn't useless, he was trained from a young age of martial arts, a tradition in his family. Nothing was going to attack them tonight.

Neji gave a fleeting look to Naruto before the blonde dropped his hands to the side, his head and eyes gesturing for Neji to explain himself.

"It wasn't because I was afraid you'd hate me." Already Neji felt his shoulders feel lighter, taking this as a rush of courage he bravely continued despite the risks, whatever the risks were anyway; this was better than regretting never knowing of he had a chance or not. The pain would be worth it.

"Breaking through that fear was so hard, growing up believing that an attrition to the same gender was a crime made me afraid of taking a step to tell you. The thought of being ostracized from my family clouded my mind." Neji had to tear away from the intense blue eyes that choked his resolve. His hand gripped his shirt with tightly winded fingers, he should have felt proud to have admitted his thoughts, but instead he felt heart wrenching shame course through his chest like the bleeding earth.

"You thought, I'd change my way of looking at you?" Naruto asked in exasperated disbelief, his confusion began to die down as enlightenment rose; this certainly explained why Neji often looked at Naruto with longing when they had been younger.

Neji slowly nodded, still refusing to look at Naruto from the uncertainty of things, it was reassuring the Naruto wouldn't hate him now, but he was still afraid of meeting cold, dismissive eyes.

"You always wore your heart on your sleeve, being so open and accepting to others. It would have been cruel of me to tell you of my feelings when I heard you started dating Sakura."

Naruto had a strong expression, almost hard, but despite the hard lines on his face, the blue eyes burned with something empathetic and sad.

"Never." Naruto's voice bordered from a whisper and sigh.

"You were my friend, how could you believe that your struggle would be a burden to me? Even if you thought it was for the best, it wouldn't have been best for you."

With silence, Neji was denying himself of Naruto's words. How typical of him to deny any sort of excuse. Without a word, Naruto understood Neji was thinking he wasn't worth that much as a person.

"No matter what goal it is, it's not stupid or fruitless. Believing in yourself is the most important thing, so don't ever tell yourself otherwise, I could never hate you for being honest with me."

Naruto was never the best with words but he was always upfront and blunt about his feelings and thoughts, more often than not, his words tended to surprise and cut through people, it must have been his sincere nature that made it impossible to resist his kindness.

Neji felt happiness surge inside his chest settle as something warm and kindling in his heart. "Thank you." He choked out, his throat seemed to have dried. Despite the tightening throat, all of the pain had gone and left, the fear faded away as if it was an illusion. A trick of the eye.

Maybe it was all in his head. But what was for certain, Neji had indeed confessed his feelings, and an answer was required, even Naruto knew that much.

Taking a breath of humid air, Naruto calmed the sinking feeling in his chest to properly reply.

"As for your confession…" Large hands fiddled with one another with a tentative nature.

Naruto smiled lovingly and clutched Neji close to him. Neji's eyes widened at the sudden intimacy, it gave Neji some hope, but the regretful stare in his friend's eyes told otherwise.

The body heat molded together, the rough, gentle fingers pressing Neji close, and the voice that carried a nurturing tone reassured Neji. This was going to be a rejection, Neji knew, but he wasn't upset or angry. Sadness prodded his weary heart, but relief was a fresh burst of water in his dry heart. There was nothing he had to hide now, he could move on.

"I care about you a lot Neji,"

The flaxen haired boy felt Neji clutch Naruto closer. Neji nodded in understanding, letting Naruto finish so that things would end on a satisfied note.

Naruto whispered into Neji's ear in a gentle voice.

"But I can't return your feelings, I'm sorry."

"I love you." Neji announced in a breathy, low sigh. Just one last time.

"I know..."

* * *

Sasuke stared at the entries of many eager artists. They all held a unique, intense feeling with their work, there was skill. Each were different but they all held the same empty undertone. The colours were beautifully arranged, but that's what they were. Just colours, there wasn't any life in them, just empty feelings; this tainted their art, the obsession with money destroyed them and their gift for art was a drowned in greed.

Naruto was different. Naruto painted without limit without a care of money; that was evident in his artwork.

In the vast city of smoke, money, and people, money became an obsession for everyone, it spread like a disease, purging every one of the correct morals, but it seemed that Naruto was immune to the immoral obsessions in society.

Naruto's paintings were often intense with emotion. Some tragically dark, some bittersweet but still beautiful, though each held a darker theme, not a single painting felt empty.

When someone looked at Naruto's art, they feel the emotions emanating from it, forcing the observers to empathize.

 _I guess Naruto really is our best shot to winning this_ Sasuke admitted to himself. Lazily he dropped his pen and found himself pinching between his eyes to get rid of the throbbing in the center of his brain, his stress was taking a toll on him.

Sitting back, his chair rolling back from the shift in weight.

Giving 5 minutes of silence, his headache settled and he sat up to stretch his arms, tightening his muscles and releasing the aches in each tendon from sitting for too long, the mild fever was still lingering a bit after catching it.

Sasuke had been working since ten in the morning, he must have worked for a long time to feel this tired, his eyes darted to the left wall, the ticking clock showed with pride it was quarter after eight.

 _Whatever his pea brain could think of, I better call check up on the moron_ Sasuke thought with the days that have passed without much contact. Shikamaru organized the professionals from their company to help Naruto refine his idea so they'd stand a better chance of passing through the first cut off contest.

His hand hovered right above his cell phone, maybe it wasn't a good time to call Naruto. The blonde might be busy. Then again, he didn't care what the airhead was doing. Not really.

When he thought about it, Naruto had been someone he had a close bond with. They argued and fought from the beginning, which made their friendship that much stronger. Originally he wanted to cut off close relationships and lock all emotions when he was adopted. He managed to lock away the memory of who Naruto was and what he meant to him.

By forgetting his face, his voice, his personality, and his kindness; simply erasing the memory, Sasuke was able live as a compassionless business man. The fact that people tried to use him when he was at the top hardened this characteristic. He was the man that could take Itachi down by using whatever was necessary, hurting people wouldn't slow him down because he had become immune to such things.

Sasuke thought back to his past actions. If actions spoke for a person, Sasuke was a cold hearted person who had done many heartless things; it was clear Sasuke was a terrible person, and deserved some punishment in the future, but that didn't matter, as long as he succeeded in finding his brother Itachi.

Yes, after Itachi received his retribution, he wouldn't care if the world threw him in the pits of hell. He'd burn in contentment.

But the fact that Naruto appeared again in his life, the locks on his hardened heart rusted away and the icy layer began to melt. Sasuke knew Naruto was his weakness, his impulse to kiss the loud mouth was proof.

Naruto was a problem in his life, an annoying weed.

A dandelion.

A symbol of persistent hope, happiness and faith.

Naruto remembered Sasuke.

There was without a single doubt, Naruto would pursue Sasuke to show his emotions he had so carefully locked away.

Ever since they were kids, Naruto was the only person that could drive Sasuke out if control. The cool, refined boy would turn into a rude, passive aggressive adolescent when it came to the wild blonde.

Not only was the blonde passionate, he was wild, headstrong, and reckless too; but the one thing Sasuke could never forget about Naruto was his unwavering compassion and warmth.

The scene of Naruto building a grave for a dead fox kit was the most endearing and haunting memory of the bright flamboyant boy. It was disturbing to see the dull blue in his eyes, to see every sense of cheer gone. As much as Sasuke hated to admit, Naruto being his usual rambunctious self was better than a quiet one. Loud was just a huge part of him.

Sasuke recalled the time when he caught a fever when he was still summer, before the winter tragedy occurred. The orphanage had its own medicine but it was terrible quality and overdue.

Sasuke tried to sleeping off his fever because the medicine was ineffective, then one day, in the middle of the night, Naruto threw pebbles at his window like in the movies, only it was wasn't romantic at all considering Sasuke had a black eye from the stones.

Thankfully the pebbles were smoothened by constant running water from the river. Naruto eventually realized the window was open and climbed up the roof after brutally battering his face with stones. Sasuke made a mental note to return the bruises to Naruto the next day, which he never actually did.

Sasuke chuckled quietly to himself, out of everyone he knew from the orphanage, his soft spot was reserved for Naruto.

_Naruto invaded Sasuke's room to drop a plastic bag with medicine he bought at the pharmacy, falling into the room by tripping over the window._

_"Hey, Sassy Su! I hope you feel like shit since I went through the trouble to get you some medicine that works." The little blonde boy said to his friend before brushing off the mud on his cheek. By the dripping bottom half, he must have travelled across the river for a shortcut to the drugstore._

_"I even asked if they had something get icicles out of a person's ass, but they said they didn't have anything for it." The blond added, muttering to himself, thinking the raven didn't hear him when really, Sasuke chose to ignore him._

_"The old man there owns a little mini-pharmacy place and he gave me the medicine half off! The ramen ain't bad either!" Naruto chuckled, his petulant nature taking over. Eventually after a brooding half hour of Naruto chatting away and insulting Sasuke, Naruto began to head to the window to leave, Sasuke felt his heart sink. He wanted to speak, but his voice was too hoarse and dry to utter a sound, his throat was a desert; he didn't want to be alone, he just wanted to say something._

_Naruto turned, seemingly to have sensed Sasuke's unspoken distress._

_"Dickface, you better be better by tomorrow or else I'll personally kick your ass off the roof. It's no fun without someone to argue with." Naruto's bright smile softened to almost looking dejected, but his eyes looked at Sasuke gratefully._

_"You're my best friend after all."_

A soft chuckle escaped his mouth.

The medicine Naruto had gotten him was actually diarrhea medication. How Naruto was able to mix up cold medicine with medication he would never know. Naruto simply shrugged his shoulders and said that Sasuke acted like an asshole and it would have done him good to get it treated.

Only the biggest knucklehead could be capable of such thinking.

"The biggest idiotic blonde on the planet..." Sasuke smiled to himself, catching himself daydreaming when he should have been working, he had a phone call to make and he'd been busy procrastinating, how irresponsible of him.

"Who's the idiotic blonde?" A familiar, low growl inquired.

Immediately Sasuke knew it was the gregarious blonde he'd been daydreaming of. However, that didn't mean he expected to see Naruto, nor could his heart pounding against his ribs.

As expected there was a grin plastered on to the blonde's face when Sasuke turned to him.

"Well if you put your brain to use for once, you'd be able to figure who I was talking about, of course be aware of the risk of short circuiting your dead brain when doing so." Sasuke jested arrogantly, amused at the blooming red on the tanned skin from wither anger or embarrassment, most likely both.

"Shut up, you're the one who is brain dead, you couldn't even remember me when we met at the cafe." Naruto retorted hotly, teeth gritted.

"Says the one who tripped over his own feet and spilled coffee over me in public." Sasuke smirked, tilting his head up to observe Naruto struggle over a witty comeback.

The blonde silently sulked as it was evident Sasuke had won this round.

"Cat got your tongue?" Sasuke teased.

Naruto stuck his tongue out.

How mature.

"What are you, five? How typical for you to settle on to such childish behavior."

"Well too bad for you but I'm not dead last all the time asshole. I'm pretty popular and cool." Naruto bragged, slightly miffed at Sasuke's arrogance, and his desire to rile him up was quite strong.

"With your friends?"

"Well I don't mean to brag, but I've been in some solid relationships before too."

It shouldn't have bothered him, but the twitch in his chest rubbed Sasuke the wrong way.

"And I expect you're currently in one as of the moment?"

"Nope. Recently mine ended." Naruto calmly replied before flashing a cheeky smile. "Why? You curious or something?"

"Not really. I just find it hard to believe you were capable of such things."

The smile of Naruto's dropped to a mild frown, sending waves of sinking guilt in the pit of Sasuke's stomach.

"You're one to talk, you're not exactly in one either." Naruto bitingly pointed out, finding Sasuke's words more insulting than hurtful.

Realizing that he'd sound colder than he had meant to, he reached for Naruto's arm to grab his attention to allow him to explain himself. If there were any misunderstandings in the situation it would no doubt provide difficult obstacles in the future, and Sasuke would rather work with a compliant Naruto in contrast to an angry one, it would be horribly tiresome to please an irrational person such as Naruto when it came to tempers.

"It's fine." Naruto assured with hushed tones with unexpected forgiveness, any traces of malice were gone. For a moment, Sasuke wondered if the man standing before him was the same rough boy he knew from childhood. Where there was once intense defiance and chaos, a soft blue lived in peace with the fire.

Thinking on it with more logic, it made sense to see the wildness less angry now. Naruto had grown up without him, time had changed Naruto as it has changed everyone. There wasn't a doubt that Naruto must have found new company to call friends, made memories without him there.

This shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was with struggle that Sasuke had to accept that Naruto had other important people he cared about.

"You didn't mean it, you were just being passive aggressive like usual, same old same old huh? The reason I came around today is cause I heard you were still sick, so I dropped some medicine by your table." His thumb gestured behind him of the plastic bag filled with medicine on the spare table. Glancing from the table to Naruto, Sasuke couldn't help but feel irritated by the familiar scene play before him, he was aware Naruto must have been thinking about the same past.

"I can take care of myself." The prideful man told with a cold stare with the assumption that he couldn't care for himself. With a click of a tongue, Naruto couldn't disagree. "Of course. But I can still worry about you and your oh so charming personality." The blonde warmly replied with a toothy grin.

Finding his walls crumble at the sincerity of Naruto's words, Sasuke refrained from saying another word in case he'd find himself lowering his guard without knowing.

With a sudden pat on the back, Naruto was passing by Sasuke, waving goodbye. This should have left him feeling relieved he could be left alone again, but a question spilled out after having being locked for years. "Did you mean it?" Images of winter began flooding in, the desperation and fear of watching Naruto fade into snow left a tight sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Naruto's last words were repeating as a mantra.

_"It made me happy that we were rivals."_

The bitter cold blew through Sasuke like a virus when the once vibrant eyes closed. The golden lashes were lazed with frost, like death had kissed each last to leave a shivering imprint.

The casual steps stopped, and Naruto turned with a confused expression "You being charming? Pft, no, ever heard of sarcasm?"

"I meant the last time we spoke before I left, do you even remember what you said?"

Naruto remained silent in contemplation before his tense shoulders went slack and he nodded, keeping his voice calm and monotone which was strange to hear Naruto wear such a lacking voice "Yes for the first, which applies to the second question. Why bring it up now?"

That was a good question, Sasuke didn't understand why he remembered that particular scene at that specific moment, in fact he had avoided all childhood thoughts until Naruto came back with heavy sprouts of melancholic nostalgia.

"You said you were glad we were rivals, that being my equal was something important to you."

Nodding without hesitation, Naruto recalled those words. Under the cloudy sky with burning winds and needled water, his only comfort as he was dying was that he meant something to someone. "Yeah, I remember, you still are, even if you've changed." Honest eyes locked on to Sasuke's, something similar to empathy poured through the blue orbs, his body was facing Sasuke.

It could have been recognized as sadness, but there was something inviting with such complicated eyes. There was no limit in courage and faith, like how a child is ignorant to limitations set by society, but they were an aged blue as well; polished with time and experience, allowing something beautiful to be born from hardship.

Simultaneously Sasuke felt bitterness bloom inside him out of jealousy. The man before him was just like Sasuke, yet so different. Naruto had chosen to forgive and forget the past mistreatment, while Sasuke was stained and consumed by a past he couldn't bear to turn his back on, a pearl that was filthy and tainted.

Sasuke could only stare with soft disagreement "Those are some very naïve words Uzumaki, you'd be much better off moving on once we're done with the contests, for both of our futures."

As much as the idea that someone had never forgotten him made Sasuke's resolve waver, it was unacceptable to believe in such a blatant lie. Many people passing through his life promised similar things, to never leave the company, to serve their time in helping his plan, and one of the favorite clichés, save him from the darkness of his desperate need for revenge.

He wasn't suffering in darkness, that'd be shameful to do so, he accepted it and wanted it to manifest because it was an opportunity to gain more power over the world. It was by his own choice that his obsession grew with a hunger for power.

Growing up, Sasuke understood that in the material world and in people, money ruled over them. Despite being human too, Sasuke was no ordinary human.

People start off their lives with a passion, only to have them burn away and leave them hollow and weak against shameful desires, but Sasuke had lost so much as a child, that he could not simply forget the hot burning fire that consumed the pieces of his family and the life he knew. Power ran the world without fail, and power was what Sasuke would achieve. Once he reached the limit, he'd find Itachi, and use everything to send him to hell, even if it left Sasuke empty and broken.

"What right do you have to say that?" Naruto questioned him "You're treating it like everything is all over before anything began."

"It's called being realistic. That sort of mindset will be your downfall. Being naïve will only make the betrayal worse when it happens, its better off if you reformed your values." Said Sasuke, looking down on Naruto's blindness. If it was anyone else, Sasuke wouldn't have warned them of how dangerous it was to be so gullible since he didn't owe anyone anything. Naruto was a different case entirely, and the sight of a broken Naruto was disturbing to imagine, and would have been preferable to avoid, even if that meant change.

With silence, Naruto would have shook his head in disagreement, instead, he spoke with his eyes that Sasuke was wrong with his angled face and tightened jaw until he crossed his arms.

"Perhaps I'm naïve, it's not the first time someone said that, but I'd rather keep that trait if it meant I'd lose a part of myself."

Amused, Sasuke swept any lingering cynicism away, allowing his irritation fade away. He just had one last question to ask before letting this go "What's the reason you want to stay by me?"

"You're the first person to accept, my first friend, and even my first kiss. Naturally I can't just say goodbye to someone I grew up. By believing things are over before trying, I'd never get anywhere." Naruto replied without hesitation, though his voice was mildly tense. "You were―are, my best friend since we were kids, and I knew you were miserable, but I didn't do anything about it back then. I pretty much abandoned you when I found a home, but I couldn't forget, not ever."

Soon, the atmosphere felt much more settled and calm. Taking Sasuke's questions a good sign, Naruto found his abrasiveness pressing down on his curiosity.

"Do you want me stay?" He didn't mean for his uncertainty to take over, but after Naruto returned the favor he'd been holding to, the thought of leaving Sasuke's life once again was rather frightening. Having already found Sasuke, winning the art competition wasn't his priority anymore now that it was unnecessary. Asking out loud the question, it made Naruto much more aware of the sinking loneliness if Sasuke disliked Naruto's company.

"If you're asking such a question now, clearly I've failed to be clear. For the moment, yes."

"And then what?"

Taking a tight breath, Sasuke couldn't meet Naruto's eyes in fear that he'd lose his grip on himself. "You may choose to stay with Uchiha corporation, or leave for something else," eventually he couldn't resist the intense blue gaze "Of course, you signed contract that you'd work for my company, so do feel obligated to stay if you want to keep a steady income." He smirked before he dismissed himself from the room, Naruto following with quiet pondering and breaking down of Sasuke's reply.

When they reached the end of the hall in front of the elevator doors, Naruto finally spoke with bafflement "Wait, so you want me to stay?"

At the edge of rolling his eyes, Sasuke nodded, heart beginning to tighten by the sudden embrace of warm arms. It was too sudden and shocking at first, no one really hugged Sasuke like this for years.

While Sasuke was certainly no virgin when it came to sexual endeavors, he was never the type to feel any affection with the people he used in bed, he was still foreign to love.

Being famous in the business world, many people have, and still try to seduce his heart to call it theirs, however, Sasuke never wavered against the bribes, the threats, and blackmail.

More than one have threatened to kill themselves, Sasuke gave a blind eye to them, for he knew despite their claims, they didn't love him at all.

He didn't care about them. It wasn't because he was heartless, the people that went as far to use their own life to force their love proves how filthy and twisted they were to go so far to manipulate others to get what they want; it reminded Sasuke too much of himself. To be fair, the ones who said they'd kill themselves, never followed up to their promises when Sasuke turned his back on them, which only further proved his belief.

In his line of work, no one was really 'innocent' if they were successful. To be at the top, using dirty tactics was the only way to survive in the real world, which was why every person he'd met, was a greedy soul that left a bitter taste in his mouth, leaving him drained and emptier than before.

Compared to the sexual acts he's done with strangers, this hug was something new, and seemed more intimate than something common as sex. It was so gentle yet firm, delicate in the moment but balanced and safe to Sasuke.

Naruto's golden aura and body heat was welcoming and it was too soon when he withdrew and the heat faded from Sasuke. His smile failed to be modest despite the attempts to hold it back, Naruto simply couldn't hold back the happiness that Sasuke wanted him to stay. Rubbing his neck in embarrassment, Naruto took a quick step back while avoiding eye contact "Sorry, you probably dislike close contact, sometimes I act impulsively when I'm happy."

Still stiff and tingly from the embrace, Sasuke nodded again, wordless because he was still lost on what to reply that would have been acceptable.

Although Sasuke charmed many upon meeting strangers, he wasn't a social person as he lacked any sort of outgoing characteristics. In a simple view, he was a man that was desired by a range of people, but he wasn't anyone's friend or lover; he was an object of desire, which trained Sasuke to instinctively push people away with his cruel betraying words.

But right now, he understood that cutting Naruto off now would have been a wise choice for his goals; Sasuke knew Naruto was an obstacle right now, but he couldn't bring himself to push him away, his body refused to move with the intention of anything unkind when it came to Naruto, someone who'd always approach him with good intentions.

Without much to say, both left the office to leave the building, Sasuke mindful to grab the plastic bag filled with cold medicine.

Quietly, both stood comfortably beside each other. The tiny room had no music as they waited for the elevator to descend to the first flour, leaving both feeling uncertain about their current position. Quietly, Sasuke glanced at Naruto's hand beside his, it was quite fascinating to compare their skin shades. Naruto was a warm sun kissed cinnamon that looked welcoming with his loosely curved finger despite the broad bone structure.

Shaking away any lingering thoughts of Naruto's hand and presence, Sasuke focused on his schedule for tomorrow. A call was to be made and discuss cheaper shipping services at 10 am, by 10:30 am, he needed to work on his speech to introduce his company to gain supporters from other big shot companies until 1 pm, then he needed to call the—

All thoughts and planning ceased when strong fingers carefully grasped his cold hand, holding with uncertainty. Tentatively, Sasuke turned to Naruto with confusion. The only answer Naruto offered was his body language. Lips were nervously thinned, eyes fanned to avoid confrontation, and a faint trace of pink was visible on the tips of his ears.

With a soft swallow of air, the cold feeling in Sasuke's chest had left after years of getting used to, allowing Naruto's warm heart to comfort his. Sasuke curled his fingers around the hesitant fingers and squeezed, before he knew it, he was falling into something unknown and he was terrified.

"I love you."


	19. Lachrymose

**LACHRYMOSE**

(adj.) Tearful or given to weeping.

* * *

_All thoughts and planning ceased when strong fingers carefully grasped his cold hand, holding with uncertainty. Tentatively, Sasuke turned to Naruto with confusion. The only answer Naruto offered was his body language. Lips were nervously thinned, eyes fanned to avoid confrontation, and a faint trace of pink was visible on the tips of his ears._

_With a soft swallow of air, the cold feeling in Sasuke's chest had left after years of getting used to, allowing Naruto's warm heart to comfort his. Sasuke curled his fingers around the hesitant fingers and squeezed, before he knew it, he was falling into something unknown and he was terrified._

_"_ _I love you."_

There was silence, it rang heavier than any storm, the silence screamed louder than any horror film. Sasuke felt his heart fall and shatter to nothing. The words that escaped him was a taboo that had been too hard to turn away from. Somewhere in Sasuke, he was tired of being used by others, so when Naruto came with selfless heart, he was weak to fight against him since it was strange and foreign for that sort of kindness to pursue him; he simply had no idea how to fend off that sort of approach besides avoiding it.

In conclusion, this was never supposed to happen, the thought of Naruto appearing in his life again had never struck as a possibility, and Sasuke subconsciously allowed the golden man to do as he liked because he'd gone so long without warnings of how dangerous a good person was to his ambitions.

The worst of it all, was the heavy feeling that had wrapped itself tightly with its thorny veins around Sasuke, was gone in an instant. Everything was so confusing, his brain screamed at him to let this pass, because his heart softened when he was near Naruto, his body refused to listen to logic and followed with what felt right.

Sasuke reluctantly looked at Naruto, fear pounded through his heart hotly, he'd never done this before. Confessing anything was out of character for Sasuke, spouting words of love was even rare, taboo almost.

Naruto must have been scared by his words; Sasuke felt fear and relief crawl under his skin. Maybe this was a good thing, this way Naruto might leave without Sasuke having to lift a finger after this.

But then what?

Fear began to rise against relief.

Naruto would leave after the competition, but that would mean Sasuke would lose a useful asset, and the empty feeling threatened to return once Naruto becomes absent in his life again. As strange as it was, Naruto still meant so much to Sasuke even if they never grew up together.

He had already tried to fend Naruto off by forcing a fierce kiss, but it seemed the kiss backfired since it was the push that led to Sasuke's downfall.  
When Sasuke brush lips with Naruto, he felt the hot, electric tingles lick down his back; every time he touched Naruto, he would feel it lingering for days; his own skin mourning for the blonde's touch again. Both his body and mind were drawn to the warmth of Naruto's soul from the day he'd met him, when his matured body tasted Naruto's spirit intimately, he wanted to stay moulded with Naruto's soul.

"Sasuke…" Naruto began, unsure what to say to his normally unruffled friend that had just discharged a confession out of the blue. Naruto was simply caught off guard from the raw, desperate declaration, leaving him conflicted and rather unsure.

How did he feel about this?

Happy that Sasuke wasn't just toying with him?

Angry that Sasuke didn't tell him sooner?

Or was this still another trick to toy with Naruto?

Maybe Naruto had taken the wrong approach and had come off as romantic rather than friendly.

Naruto was never good at observation, his skills were otherwise dominant in quick thinking, determination, and optimism which lead Naruto from believing Sasuke had platonic feelings for him since his goal was to rebuild their friendship, there was no plan to extend it to romance. This was not planned or expected, and even Naruto's quick thinking failed to conjure a rational reason for all this.

The feeling in Naruto wasn't negative, on the contrary, it surprised to Naruto to find warm bursts in his chest settle into balls of tingles in his loins. Euphoria filled him, and he couldn't help but share some of Sasuke's feelings. Perhaps, this unnamed feeling Naruto nurtured for Sasuke was romantic, but he wasn't sure it was quite love; he did however, realize his attraction to Sasuke was strong.

Taking a breath, Naruto cleared his confusion and merely gave a coy smile. "Dinner first." Tentatively he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to rid of the sweat beginning to build. He chuckled nervously, his blue eyes averting Sasuke's in bashfulness. No one had ever given Naruto such a passionate confession, it was so different and strange, not that it was a bad thing. "I do feel the same, but not as strong, so…Is it alright if we take this slow?"

The silent sparked enough curiosity in Naruto to risk a glance up to Naruto. Dark eyes were calm, it seemed Sasuke understood where Naruto was coming from and nodded with compliance, but the way Sasuke's eyes had a warm glow in them, something shifted in Sasuke; it was likely for the better too, he could almost spot a genuine smile on Sasuke.

Taking the initiative, Naruto pressed the elevator button. As both waited for an elevator to come, Sasuke finally spoke after prolonged silence. "Thank you."

"For what?" Naruto asked as he took the first steps into the elevator once the doors opened.

"Finding me, for the medicine of course." The ball of warmth pulsed gently in his body when I heard Naruto chuckle under his breath.

Giving a breathy laugh, Naruto shook his head "Don't mention it."

Something about the way Naruto smiled and laughed, gave Sasuke a sense of stability and contentment; although he wouldn't admit it, he enjoyed the sensations Naruto brought to his life. Maybe this time, he'd get to keep this small bit of happiness to himself. And nothing would ruin it this time.

* * *

On the way home, Naruto couldn't help but feel a continuous feeling of satisfaction, it must have been Sasuke to induce this. Today was indefinitely a good day, it was established that they were still very close, and the thought of being romantically involved with Sasuke made him giddy, which was a rare sensation nowadays since his childish humor had worn away. It was common for him to feel excited and happy, but giddy was never an appropriate description that described him until today. In the taxi, Naruto was even gifted with wonderful weather. Taking the elevator up, Naruto's cellphone began to vibrate before breaking out in tune to 8 bit music. Taking the call as the doors opened, Naruto attempted to multitask by getting his keys out.

"Naruto Uzumaki here." His hand struggled for the silver key out of the bronze ones, the fear of dropping the set of keys was a risk Naruto preferred avoiding

"That's good to know, it's Neji calling." The voice was silvery and calm, though it sounded mildly worn, like he was tired.

"What's with the call today? Aren't you usually busy during this time? I don't want you to call if you're gonna get in trouble, you sound like you could really use a break." The key slid into its place and Naruto twisted his wrist as he pinched the base of the key. After it clicked open, Naruto was welcomed by cool air as he stepped in, turning on the lights of the room.

"You almost sound like my mother Naruto," Neji's voice became a breathy chuckle, almost husky.

"Currently I'm on my break, and since we haven't discussed moving procedures or time, I thought it'd be a good idea to converse about it since it occurred to me."

Oh Shit. Naruto dropped his keys.

"About that…" Quietly, he dove for the dropped keys and returned them in his pocket. Anxiety crawled its way into Naruto's hands, his back, and his neck.

"Has something come up?" The voice sounded somewhat sterner now with its solid tone, though it could have easily been recognized as concern, but the undertones of the once silky voice, told Naruto otherwise.

"Sort of." The jacket Naruto wore was unzipped and thrown on a chair "Recently, I've gotten together with someone," Naruto use his shoulder to know hold his phone as he tried to get himself a glass of water. "And to be honest, I think it'll go well." Naruto also didn't want Sasuke to get the wrong idea if he found out he was living with Neji who had feelings for him. In fact, Naruto only just realized that was probably why Neji insisted so strongly for him to move in with Neji.

For a moment, Neji didn't reply, didn't mke a noise, not even a sound of breathing, like he was holding his breath in contemplation "…Do you get along with this person?" He asked.

Caught off guard by the question, Naruto struggled to get the right words out "Yeah, I do, he's my best friend, and it's a first for me to feel so light and giddy, it's a good weird feeling, ya know?" Naruto lilted, unable to stop the grin on his face deepening.

"Then I suppose that speaks for itself." Neji lamented with restraint.

Realizing Neji was going through another wave of rejection, Naruto tried to console him. Starting off with an apology, Naruto never wanted to hurt Neji like this, or anyone, "Neji, I'm real so-"

"No need to apologize." He interrupted with firmness. Through the phone, a deep breath was taken. "In a way I was thinking with selfish goals when I offered. I thought if you and I spent more time together, I would've been able to convince you to be mine. It might have happened, but I should have known I never stood a chance when it came to Sasuke Uchiha." Neji admitted "The moment I saw how open and trusting he was to you, I knew deep down this would happen." The guilt in Neji's voice was shaky and regretful, Naruto couldn't bring himself to be angry over this; he understood the feeling of wanting to be with someone, to be willing to make shameful decisions.

"Neji, you're a great person, and you're still my friend. Everyone makes bad choices, it's big of you to admit this to me. So… I forgive you."

The relief from Neji came in heavy waves. "Thank you Naruto. I erm… have to go, my break is ending."

"Just one question."

"Yes?"

"How'd you know it was Sasuke?"

"Being an observant man, I learned you both had strange affections to each other. Of course I knew, I see everything with a truth in it despite the fickleness in reality. Have a good evening Naruto, I'll be seeing you soon, Uzumaki." Neji mused, sounding a bit bitter, but it was overtaken by the sense of humility from him.

"Yeah, goodnight Neji, don't work too hard."

"No promises, though I'll most likely be unable to do so." His voice was light, but sounded cold and hard before the line was cut off.

* * *

At first, Naruto had thought Neji was truly at peace with his rejection, but he only realized how sudden and crushing his news was for Neji, only then, did the realization how dreadful his words must have been to his friend. Wishing to take back his words for new ones, Naruto had wanted to call Neji and explain himself, but it wasn't right; Neji needed to be away from Naruto. The blond had caused enough pain, because Naruto truly cared, he forced himself to put away the phone and go to sleep. Apologizing is never enough when it comes to something as complicated as love.

* * *

Neji quietly placed his cell on the table in silence. The heartbreak taking place, the quiet offering a lonely solace to him as he accepted the crushing rejection that contracted with every breath. The ruthless pain was cruel, but Neji would not cry, nor would he show such weak feeling because he knew this would fade with time.

* * *

The following weeks were progressive and well used despite the absence of Neji whom was working on issue about colour dyes in Italy. Naruto had a fair idea for this sudden decision, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. Sasuke however did not bring the topic up nor took the time to explain Neji's sudden flight; At first, Naruto thought it was because Sasuke simply didn't believe it was Naruto's place to know, but soon realized that Sasuke most likely knew Neji had found Naruto attractive, and had chosen to avoid the topic to protect Neji's pride with how Sasuke steered attention away from his calm friend. Naturally Naruto empathized with the urge to protect friends, so once again, he chose to go against his urge to know and found common ground with silence.

It was just Naruto and Sasuke now.

Not that either objected to that. Despite their clashing personalities and contrasting beliefs, they got along fairly well as they discussed Naruto's rough ideas to scratch a few parts out and think of new ones as they branched out the rough work. Of course, another artist who was coincidently Naruto's friend, was called in by Sasuke for an unbiased opinion of their ideas, and what specific material would be required to achieve their goal. However, this did not turn out as planned since Naruto's friend, Sai, had spent the hour commenting and questioning Naruto's life and occasionally his genitals, which notably made Naruto fluster from his ears.

Sasuke however was rather annoyed with the time that had been lost but couldn't bring himself to interrupt the reconcilement of the two friends, so for a first time in a while, he took a calming breath and found satisfaction in simply listening to their exchange of words; observing the ocean blue eyes light up in excitement and occasionally anger, but always passionate and alive.

When the hour reached its end, Sai's dark eyes dimmed in disappointment as he bid goodbye to leave for his home.

Feeling a bit out of place and uncomfortable with how close Sasuke was, Naruto spoke up in hopes of excusing himself from the building "So I guess we're good for the next week or so. I'm goi-"

"How did you know?" The silky voice echoed, Sasuke's face obscured by his bangs and the shadow it cast itself over his face made it difficult to get a sense of where he was going with his question.

"What? What do you mean by asking that?" Naruto quirked his eyebrow in confusion, completely taken aback by the sudden inquiry.

"How can you tell that I was miserable when we met?" Sasuke asked, his voice rather taut. He'd never told anyone, but Naruto seemed to always see right through him, distinguishing every detail of the loneliness Sasuke held in his heart, which bothered Sasuke immensely.

Naruto looked at Sasuke with a softer gaze, but not enough to seem like he was giving him pity or sympathy.

"Your eyes. When we met for the first time, I saw empty grief. This sounds like bullshit, but I swear, somehow I knew we'd be friends. Although we didn't speak at first, I wanted to be your equal. You were popular with everyone, suppose I was hella jealous."

Taking a moment, Naruto paused to look for Sasuke's reaction. His chin was tilted, and his eyes were mildly confused and seemed unsure what to say. Feeling his courage maintain its strength, he continued.

"When I was finally accepted by you, it was the first time I had a friend, a rival, a brother. From that point, every time you hurt I couldn't stand it, because I felt it a little too. So when I turned my back on you, my one and only best friend, I regretted for not confronting you about the misery you had inside you when I knew it was there all this time, I betrayed you for my own selfish reasons because I didn't know your pain. Couple of the girls at the orphanage knew what happened to your family, they gossiped and I overheard about it, I didn't do shit though. At least, not until I lost my godfather."

Sasuke observed the tightened lips of Naruto, the strained eyes and the twist of pain in his expression. Without a word, Sasuke understood that Naruto had indeed suffered through the piercing agony of loss, but that didn't make him feel better; the mere sight of bright eyes losing its glow to grief was disturbing and uncomfortable for Sasuke to witness in Naruto.

"I never knew he was my Godfather until last year. He'd been looking for me desperately, and when he found me, I was already happy with a new family which he couldn't bring himself to rip me away from. Of course, Iruka, my stubborn Dad, wouldn't allow him to disappear out of my life. Instead my Godfather spent time with me every other week. Then, when he had been murdered last year, I was told who he was, and that the closest person to my biological parents were gone. Meaning I lost another part of my family."

"Why did waste your years to find me?" Sasuke found himself asking without proper assessment, he tried his best to hide the quiver and tremble in his tone, hating the idea of sounding vulnerable and weak, but Naruto didn't look at Sasuke in such a way; he gave a warm smile and an honest look with clear eyes.

"I was afraid, the most important person I had met, would still be alone, thinking no one understood or cared enough to stay by his side." With a careful breath, Naruto calmed himself as Sasuke's ebony eyes locked on to his.

"Sasuke, you were the only person who saw me as me. You helped me believe I was worth something, because you didn't reject me. Out of all the others you could have chosen to befriend, it was me. Of course, it's a bit different since we're together." A pleasant smile found its way to Naruto's lips.

"And if we weren't?" Sasuke asked with a low voice, hand slightly shaky as he began to gather the papers they'd been working on, Sasuke avoided eye contact and ignored the knocking of his heart.

Without hesitation or wavering in emotion, Naruto kept his strong, confident tone. "I'd still be here."

Heart picking up, Sasuke's dark eyes seemed empty for a moment when Naruto found them piercing through his own eyes.

"Even if I've hurt hundreds of people? Thrown colleagues away when they were useless to me?" Sasuke wasn't sure at this point where this sudden purge of words were coming from, but he felt emotion fill him suddenly, that he didn't know to stop it.

The unchanging expression of Naruto's seemed to have shifted to something bittersweet, the smile dying down, but not for the reasons Sasuke had thought of.

With a small voice, Naruto answered again "Yes."

"Why?" Sasuke asked with breathy confusion.

"Because our positions could have been easily switched right now. You love me, and I…" Naruto's eyes glanced down before returning with realization "…Love you."

The glow of Naruto's eyes aroused discomfort with how eerily intense clear they were. Somehow by hearing the words, the reality of it had hit Sasuke even harder than he'd expected; being in love was one thing, but to hear the reciprocation of such emotions had an odd way of spreading an unnamed tingle around his chest and stomach. But he wouldn't allow Naruto the last word in this conversation.

"That's presumptuous of you to assume that." Sasuke retorted with clipped words, he wasn't impressed with the stupidity of Naruto's faith in him being in possession of a goodwill. Out of everyone in the world, Sasuke was far from being defined as a saint, or even a decent person. The mere idea of being thought of as a good person made Sasuke feel sick with such a blatant lie. Sasuke had already hurt so many, and lied to many good people; to label himself with another lie would be too much for him. Although his growth in business and personality were based on lies, Sasuke would fully accept himself as an ugly monster that tore at anyone in front of him. When he achieved his revenge, Sasuke would throw himself to the vicious wolves and accept whatever punishment was necessary.

But that wasn't possible with how things looked at the moment.

Not with how Naruto stood in his way. Being with Naruto elevated all dark thoughts that burdened him, the steps weren't as heavy, and subconsciously, he wanted that. Somewhere along his lonely journey, Sasuke desired for a reason to stop his exhausting hunt for revenge, but there was never anyone or anything that ever got close to moving his mountainous, cold, heart.

Now, Naruto had snuck behind him, holding him close, making Sasuke unable to reject him.

Soft chuckling escaped Naruto's soft lips as his warm hand outlined his jaw to his chin "It's not presumptuous if it's the truth." The gentle deep blue of his eyes made Sasuke's resolve quiver. Making his limbs freeze from the idea of rejecting Naruto.

"In fact, I have no doubt you are capable of being a good person, that's why I won't leave your side."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes in doubt, lips tightening "Even if I hurt you?"

The soft laughter returned, something sparkled in Naruto's eyes "You can try, but I'm more stubborn than that."

Despite the vague reply, Sasuke found himself sharing the smile. "You're such an idiot."

"An idiot in love with an asshole." Naruto sang teasingly, jokingly leaning in for a kiss, not expecting a kiss at all until Sasuke finished the press of warm lips with his own with a loving nip along the bottom of his lip.

Dark eyes met with shocked blue ones. Sasuke smirked as he found amusement in the red blush that took over Naruto's cheeks, neck and ears.

"I suppose that means you won't leave me to give."

Returning the kiss, Naruto grinned "Not a chance."

Before Sasuke could reply, the sound of _What Does The Fox Say_ began playing from the pocket of Naruto's pocket. As the awkward moment passed, Naruto hastily attended to text back with poorly hidden disappointment. The mood of their moment had died out to which Sasuke found relief.

"Unique taste in music." Sasuke commented, eyebrow quirked slightly.

"It's called artistic taste." Naruto lightheartedly scoffed before flashing a silly grin.

"You call that artistic taste, hmm?"

"You call that a face?" Naruto's eyes glanced at Sasuke's features, admiring the nicely sculpted lips that were tinted with pink.

With confidence "You don't seem to be complaining." Sasuke said. He replied with gentle teasing.

"Shhhh, I can't help it if you're attractive." Blue eyes glittered jokingly with surprising suggestiveness in them.

"Maybe you're right." Sasuke half-heartedly agreed, his tone suddenly neutral.

Unfazed, Naruto rolled his eyes "Maybe I'm always right." Before he began to leave, "Too bad I can't stay, Shikamaru texted me to help get Kiba's dog out of his backyard tree, want to come?"

Opening his mouth to instinctively reject the offer, the benevolent nature of Naruto made him ponder for a moment, he didn't have anything to do, plus he did need to discuss a quick matter of a few yes or no questions with shikamaru.

"Sure."


	20. Sonder

**SONDER**

(n.) The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

* * *

From the start, society teaches children that lying is unacceptable. A taboo that creates a chain effect of disaster and chaos. At first, the young are frightened by the thought of anything negative, so they try to follow the rules they'd been given.

Being children, they still lie about harmless things that don't have too much of an effect, because to an adult, it's still controllable. When the young reach adulthood, they slowly realize there are many exceptions that the simple rules they were taught, but many adults still choose to lie about the wrong things, paranoid over their own problems and the difficult decisions that awaited them.

The answer was simple. There is no definite right or wrong. That is the truth about being an adult. It is up to each individual to use their judgment and values to make decisions that will affect their life dramatically or minimally depending on their actions.

Though this truth is definite at its core, it can be frustrating as it can often cause conflict and create a road of deceit of self-disgust.

Despite the world of lies and distrust, people want to believe in others. Deep down, desiring the ability to place unbreakable faith in others is a shared wish.

Unfortunately, humans are liars by nature, an important survival skill just to get by in life. To save face. To protect pride. To be alone.

When the novelty of safety and quiet fade out, being alone without a friend was even more unbearable.

Naruto understood this rule set in life since he was young. So when he became an adult with a matured mind, he promised to love all, trust a few, and to protect his family and friends.

Especially to protect Sasuke. They shared a past during their darker moments, perhaps that was why Sasuke opened up to him with less caution than others. It was possible Sasuke didn't want to let go of Naruto because loneliness had become the normal setting for him.

Maybe Sasuke craved an end to his painful crawl to his goal, or he was afraid of his bond with Naruto. Too afraid if he'd burn.

* * *

The soft feel of sheets and blankets surrounded Sasuke's body.

Dreams of blurred figures filled Sasuke's head, faintly, lavender was found in the air.

Ocean waves crashed softly, singing in gentle crescendo without the screeching of birds. But it wasn't like any other he had saltwater pool he'd seen before. The ocean wasn't limited to a single shade of blue, there was cerulean, topaz, sapphire, teal, indigo, cobalt, turquoise, and other playful hues of blue that seemed to change with the movement of the saltwater.

The sun was dipping into the horizon with its golden fire, the rays of lights dyed the sky a vibrant scarlet, peach, and traces of soft yellow tapped the clouds.

It was so peaceful, this warmth made Sasuke feel safe from the darkness he lived in on a daily basis.

But all good things come to end, he knew that from experience. The price for something remotely amicable wasn't worth much if it meant he'd be stuck in time with false peace.

This warmth was only a lie to the real thing, and he was tired of being reminded of the impossible.

So he pushed forward. Finding his way back to his path was all he had left to his life. Destroying Itachi was the only thing that aroused any resolve from him, as long as he was still alive, he would never stop.

 _"To be honest, I thought you were happier without me."_ A voice echoed. Sasuke jerked his head and met younger blue eyes.

The short child across from him smiled. The ocean disappeared, darkness surrounded him and the child.

 _"I wouldn't have blamed you if you were. After all,"_ The eyes twisted in cold pain. _"We were alone and starved of love. Kids that lived in a world full of hate."_

The sadness quickly left when they looked up to Sasuke's dark ones. _"Thank you for being my best friend despite all of the doubts we carried. Cause I know you cared."_ The glowing smile somehow brought attention to the light horizontal marks on his cheeks, confirming it was Naruto as a child. It was so long ago when they'd been kids. When Naruto's skin wasn't so golden and more of a peachy orange, the blotches of purple and black on his limbs left Sasuke recalling the darker moments of their lives, bringing on a protective nature in Sasuke now that he perceived how incredibly delicate Naruto was as a child.

Without consciously knowing, Sasuke sauntered closer, recognizing the translucent image of his past. Getting closer, Naruto seemed to become less and less saturated until it was apparent, he was gone. Travelling back into the past does not change anything, it only opens up old wounds, bringing the risk of infection with it. "Don't go." Sasuke said, feeling lost and emptier than he thought possible.

Snow began to fall, bringing biting winter through his hollow body. Leaving him alone again in a black abyss.

 _"I've seen you carry that look on your face once a year at the orphanage, you always did look like you sucked a lemon."_ A familiar voice again, older and huskier with age. Instinctively, he jerked again from the break of silence. The black around him was sucked out, replaced by white as the snow seemed to have disappeared.

The same blue eyes, the yellow hair the same obnoxious hue that it was.

_"Besides you being a total ass on those days, I hated seeing you look so depressed and angry. But I admired you too, you had the kind of strength I was missing."_

This Naruto was the present Naruto that Sasuke had gotten to know, something farther from the past. _"At the same time, I could kinda… feel the pain too. It had really hurt."_ His hand went to touch the middle section of his chest. _"I needed to find you."_ Naruto's voice was soft and silky, comforting in many ways.

"Why?!" Sasuke snapped "Why did you do all this for me?! I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you." That wasn't true, he'd helped Naruto out more than anyone at the orphanage, but nothing that deserved this, especially after Sasuke chose to abandon everything good in his life, Naruto included. He wouldn't survive losing someone again.

Soft laughter escaped Naruto, the blue eyes seemed brighter and stronger. _"You have been my friend,"_ the childish grin never failed to lose its shine, never failed to cause a quiver in Sasuke's heart. _"That in itself is a tremendous thing."_ The way Naruto viewed him, was too kind; Bringing an heavy pull in his chest.

Everything clustered before disappearing. Before Sasuke could ask one question.

**_Why_ **

Richly coloured flowers greeted him, before he noticed the moving presence of someone with a watering can that resembled a sunflower. The person watering the plants, hummed something that resembled jazz music.

"Why." the word escaped his mouth from his half asleep mind, his arm reaching out to tug the sleeve of the person.

"Wha—Well look who's awake now. Morning sleepyhead, how are you feeling?"

"Do you even have to ask? Looking at you hurts me." Sasuke snapped from the boisterous voice that was a tad too cheerful for his mornings. When Sasuke awoke from slumber, he needed at minimum an hour of quiet as he prepared himself for the day, if that was disturbed, than his mood would be quite foul.

The wince Naruto gave surprised Sasuke; he didn't think anything fazed Naruto, apparently he was wrong, he didn't care though, but he did refrain from saying anything more hurtful, even if he did enjoy seeing others become brought down by his doing. Letting out a brief sigh, he sat up, slicked his hair back, disliking the oily strands of his hair. "Where am I?" He asked with a much more softer tone.

As if oblivious to his grouchy mood, Naruto answered easily "My room, in my bed. I slept on the couch so I didn't do anything."

Sasuke's eyes furrowed tightly "Why?"

Naruto paused himself by placing down the watering can "You don't have to sound so defensive, don't you remember anything last night?"

Sasuke was about to shake his head, but then recalled a tree, a cat, and a large, white dog, however, Sasuke had a difficult time arranging those clues as to why he was in Naruto's apartment. Sensing his confusion, Naruto answered without Sasuke having to "We were gathered with Kiba to climb up a tree. Kiba's dog Akamaru is terrified of cats, so Kiba, and myself went up to the tree to coax Akamaru down. You didn't cause you thought we were being idiots, and then…" Naruto grimaced as his eyes hesitantly glanced at Sasuke sheepishly.

"And then?"

"Well… the branch snapped… and we fell on you. So uh, naturally you kind of lost consciousness. To be honest we were all freaking out, Choji managed to call up our friend Lee, who's an expert on impact injuries, to see if you were okay— Thankfully, you were. Though you probably have a few bruises… Sorry about that."

Scowling Sasuke began to remove himself from the bed "Calling the ambulance would have been preferred."

"That is true, but Lee lived across the street so he was closer." Naruto reasoned casually.

Sasuke wanted to scorn Naruto about the incident, but frankly, he didn't have the energy to do that, not in the morning. Plus, he did agree to come along so it was partly his fault for poor judgement.

"What are we eating?" Sasuke ventured to ask, sounding rather defeated. Picking up on the change of subject with eagerness, Naruto stood slightly straighter. "Well I don't have anything yet… but you wait here. So I'm just gonna grab healthy breakfast—"

"…Is that frozen Ramen wrapped in a fruit roll up?" Sasuke inquired with suspicion by the noodles bunched in a nest of fruit rollup by the counter.

"Breakfast burrito, but yeah."

"Would consuming a healthier food group kill you?" Sasuke began to get up, annoyed Naruto's eating habits haven't improved at all since they were kids.

"Its fine, you can have some fruit I have." Naruto pranced to the kitchen.

"And what about you? You can't live off of ramen, you know that."

Rolling his eyes, Naruto pulled out a chair for Sasuke for the small wooden table. "Give me some credit, I don't always eat it, it's just I got a busy morning. But, I'll eat something better since it bothers you."

"Doing what?" Sitting himself comfortably, Sasuke observed Naruto taking out food items out of the fridge.

"Shikamaru wants to propose to his girlfriend, and he asked if his best friends would be there to witness it. No way am I going to miss something like that." Naruto took out a container of baby tomatoes, and milk. "Of course, I still gotta find what I need to wear today, but I got taste so there isn't a problem."

"Do you need help?" Sasuke asked, finding himself cringe at what the possible things Naruto had in mind of what was classy and fashionable. When Naruto pulled out his favorite red fruit, Sasuke kept his eyes on them.

"Depends, was that an offer?" Naruto asked with a hint of hope in his voice before he rolled out a fair amount of tomatoes in a bowl before rinsing them, his body pausing just at the shelves of cereal he had lined on the right side of the fridge.

Finding the tomatoes quite appealing to his mood, Sasuke nodded before he finally received his breakfast, taking immediate action to bite into a cherry tomato and enjoy the balance of sweet, sour, and savory on his tongue.

"Whew, that's a relief, it'd be great to have a second opinion." The blonde man admitted, getting out a box of cereal and another bowl to prepare his own breakfast, switching to something healthier now that . "Thanks for the help."

"Of course, I'd hate to see you grabbing all the attention with your frightening taste in clothing."

"Say all the mean jabs you want, you just don't want to admit you're being nice to me." He teased with his blue eyes and glowing smile.

"Naruto." Sasuke warned.

"Just say it, you like being nice to me."

"Please. Shut up." Sasuke felt his ears turn hot as he bit into the juicy fruit.

* * *

"'About damn time!'" Naruto mimicked with a squeaky voice which was a terrible imitation of Shikamaru's fiancé. "'If you were one more day late, I'd thought I'd have to propose to you!'" He finished with a laugh that rumbled in his throat and chest.

Sighing with a feigned annoyance as the smile that he could not rub off was evident, Shikamaru rolled his eyes "How was I supposed to know she was eager about marriage, we both agreed when we met that matrimony was too troublesome."

"Who knows, although it was pretty entertaining when you panicked for a month when you were conscious of your mad feelings for her." Kiba shrugged, turning up the loud electro music that was a mix of beatbox and trombones and other odd harmonies.

"It is rather surprising to see Shikamaru to find his match." Sasuke commented with a hidden smile as he was driving.

"Preach it! It was pretty much love when Temari came along and proved she was the only that was able win every argument against him." Hooted Naruto, chuckling with Choji as Shikamaru's embarrassment became clearer with every comment.

"Please shut up, you guys are embarrassing me, it's not a big deal." The intelligent man grumbled under his breath, sadly, he was still audible as the song began to fade.

"We're just happy for you." Choji assured with his pleasant nature "You're the first one out of all of us to get married after all."

With that finished, Sasuke parked by the grocery market and a café.

Sasuke and Shikamaru approached the café in hopes for some lunch a cup of coffee while the rest went in for party supplies which would have been mostly alcohol if Naruto hadn't assigned Kiba and Choji jobs in there.

"Why the fuck do you get to choose the booze? You got taste buds of the dead." Kiba complained, a shade irritated by the requests of Naruto.

Confident in being able to argue his point, Naruto chose to reply in a deadpanned tone "You like Peach Schnapps. Enough said my man."

"What about it? Taste fine to me."

"Yeah if you flavored coolers like kids." Naruto added before he began to head for the alcohol section to avoid prolonged debate.

Turning his head to Choji, Kiba asked with insecurity he'd failed to hide "That's not true, right?"

Biting his cheek Choji found himself stuck between choosing honesty or consideration of Kiba's feelings. "Um…"

* * *

The wild chatter failed to distract Naruto despite the high pitched yelling in the background. Apparently a bunch of toddlers and children were around; because it was roughly afternoon, it must have been lunch time for them since there was a school a block away from the store, which brought back fond memories for Naruto. Back in high school, he'd go out for lunch with his squad and buy a bunch of junk food to eat in the front yard of the school, where they'd joke about the hot girls in their school. Those days were so simple and unsatisfying.

Eying the scotch, and whisky, Naruto decided to sacrifice the extra dough since Shikamaru had expensive taste and deserved the best for this occasion.

"Seems like you're busy for a stock of alcohol." Someone quietly mumbled in a toned voice, almost discreet sounding. A tall figure approached the tanned man.

Turning around while withdrawing his hand, Naruto took a moment from the alcohol section of the grocery store to observe the stranger. Slender limbs, milky white complexion, dark sleek eyes, and ebony hair that was tied. Surprised at the severe shared characteristics with Sasuke, Naruto stared.

After a moment of gawking, Naruto realized he was being rude and shook his head out of his confusion "Sorry about staring, you just look like my friend. Uh, Can I help you?" he hesitatingly asked, unsure where his sudden apprehension rooted from. It was almost like he'd been caught committing a felony when he had a right to the alcohol section, and wasn't even driving, so he was being a responsible adult. Plus this man was only striking a friendly conversation, Naruto was usually all for chatting with new people.

The dark eyes glanced at Naruto's overall body "Perhaps."

"Um," Somehow Naruto felt uncomfortable with the dark gaze staring down at him, which was a strange thing by itself. Fear wasn't something he felt often, even when questionable people approach him. But this man, seemed troubled by something dark and heavy, like his burden had drowned out his gentle soul. "Exactly, what do you need?"

Fingers of the stranger seemed to clench on to something in his jacket, by the sounds of it, it was likely paper of some sort. "I'm just hoping to get to know you," the glint in dark eyes softened before the owner of them pulled away, "Although I don't have the right, since you seem quite happy and don't quite deserve my misfortune."

Completely taken by surprise, Naruto struggled with his words before asking a pivotal question "What—Wait a sec, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

With a weak smile and pressed lips, the man gave one final glance "Body language." He turned around the corner at the end of the aisle; with growing curiosity, Naruto pursued the escaping man, but he'd nearly tripped over a toddler, so when he looked up, the stranger was no longer within sight.

As crowds and waves of people continuously became a blur, there was a considerate pause before Naruto mumbled under his breath "Weird fucking guy." his eyes still searching for the quaint, shadowy man that seemed to have disappeared under his nose, he couldn't help wondering if Sasuke and the man were in fact, relatives; the idea was trashed though, Sasuke didn't have family so it was impossible.

At first, he merely stood there. Then the calls of his friends snapped him back on to his objective, encouraging his brain to shrug off the odd occurrence, for this was supposed to be the night of indulgences and partying.

* * *

Returning with rather toned down aura, it was noticeable to the rest of the group that something robbed Naruto of his usual energy and spirit. Rather than bring attention upon the change of attitude, Choji and Kiba were the optimists while Shikamaru was the supporter; Sasuke chose to stay quiet, but switched seats with Kiba so Naruto and Sasuke touched knees.

Due to the effort, Naruto was swept up by the mood and shortly began to laugh and joke in the car; Kiba already changing the radio stations, Choji mostly snacked, but found moments to laugh and talk. Shikamaru found himself sharing the mood, only he devoted his time in the car on his phone. Within a short span of time, he received congratulations on his marriage by his relatives and a handful of (expected) death threats from his in-laws. Sasuke kept to himself, but even he wasn't immune to Naruto's ridiculous banter that never seemed to end.

Arriving roughly behind 5 pm, the excited men quickly and efficiently transported the supplies into Shikamaru's apartment.

The evening started with celebration, which eventually turned into a drunken gathering, excluding Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke took the initiative to be the one to drive the drunk idiots back home, where Naruto had 'changed' his mind.

At the end of the party, it was at exactly 11pm where Naruto heaved his friends carefully into taxis before sending them safely off home. Shikamaru was out cold on the couch with his limbs spread out, Sasuke simply threw a blanket over him and a note before he exited the apartment room in search of Naruto.

As Naruto finally sent off the last man, Kiba, he called over another taxi for his ride home since he was a bit tired of the unwanted return of a sadness he never understood even if he was an adult now, his fingers pinched at each other in an attempt to distract himself from the ache he felt in his chest. He needed a moment to himself to push away this drowning feeling. With a sigh of relief, a taxi was quickly available again, but as he was about to pay the taxi man, Sasuke asked "Want to go for a drink?"He neede

Wetting his tanned lips, he nodded, maybe he did need a drink.

* * *

"So what's on your mind?" The words were simple when they escaped Sasuke, but Naruto wasn't quite sure where to start.

Naruto could only stare at his second cup of whisky. "Nothing. Just kinda exhausted today. One of the side effects of staying up all night from horror movies." Naruto joked, his nails digging into his own hand, forcing his smile a little.

Dark eyes fanned in disapproval before he brought his lips to his glass of brandy, swirling it around his tongue to experience the slow burn of alcohol before swallowing "You play with your fingers when you get nervous." Sasuke commented, keeping his eyes focused on the wall. "You're not the type to turn down alcohol." He added.

Realizing that he'd been caught in his lie, he dropped the smile and took a swig of his whisky, drinking more than half of his glass, he needed the courage, not matter how stupid, he needed to get this off his chest.

Quietly he admitted "I… am happy for Shikamaru, but this made me realize that after years of growing up with people I care about, we grow apart at the end of high school by going to different universities." Tanned fingers loosely cradled the glass before he finished the rest of his drink.

"Now he's getting married, he'll be busy with his wife, and eventually, have kids. So he's leaving." His voice cracked in the middle before asking for his glass to be filled again.

Although Sasuke was wordless, he was paying attention, and nodded for him to continue.

"Although we celebrated today, to me, I was saying goodbye to Shikamaru because things won't be the same anymore, this was his night, and I wanted to remain sober to remember…"

Another gulp of burning alcohol.

"Our last time being a complete group of childhood friends…" His words tumbled out clumsily before he finished his third glass.

"What am I supposed to do when everyone's off with their own lives?" Naruto's face was covered by his hands "I'll be gone, I'll—"

"Naruto." Sasuke calmly said.

"Being alone is terrifying… I-I don't… don't know how I'm—"

"Naruto!" Sasuke snapped, his hand gripping Naruto's hand which placed a stop to Naruto's momentary hysteria to his surprise.

Quiet again, Naruto dropped his gaze to the ground before he continued with better control on his thoughts "I'm afraid of being alone. Sometimes I think about where I'll be when my dad dies, when my friends are off with their happy families… It's scary to-"

"You don't want to be alone and forgotten." Sasuke finished with soft breath, finding the fragile look on Naruto's face upsetting; to see sorrow on a person who was regularly smiling without troubles seemed so unnatural. Naruto was a happy person, but it occasionally slipped from Sasuke's mind that humans are never such simple things, and his best friend couldn't escape that fact.

Somehow, Sasuke wanted to comfort Naruto, to assure the rare case of distress. Normally Sasuke could charm and comfort anyone that began to drown in emotions in his presence, but around a person he loved, his mind would go blank and his heart would flutter erratically and he'd feel slightly dizzy. Without thinking, Sasuke fixed the gap between them to silence, or at least calm Naruto's drunk ramble.

His hand curved at the back of Naruto's head, lacing between soft locks of yellow hair to guide Naruto deeper into their soft meeting of lips. Naruto's tongue had subtle hints of whisky, aiding in the tingling pulses his body thrived in, turning the point of the kiss to a whole new direction when Naruto's hand slid to trace the curve of his body.

Immediately, Sasuke broke free of their heated exchange of tongues when he'd realized they had practically groped each other in a public place. The stares of some, though not many, had further pressed the embarrassed heat up his knew, rooting to his ears.

"Naruto, we should stop until we get to your house." Sasuke suggested with breathy words and a silky voice. His partner however, was slack, and when the brunette leaned closer, the soft traces of snoring was clear. Naruto was apparently a sleepy drunk.

 _I suppose this makes things easier to handle than a drunk Naruto._ The porcelain man reasoned before he paid for their drinks and decided that enough was enough.

Both needed their sleep, today had been a long day, especially for Naruto as he'd been feeling slightly abandoned.

If Sasuke had been anyone else, he would have thought Naruto's reaction was a bit ridiculous when really, it wasn't. Not to him at least, because he knew where his fear of loneliness rooted from.

When they reached Naruto's apartment door, Sasuke practically dropped Naruto on the bed, barely able to remove the iron grip Naruto had on his arms before helping him out of his jeans and shirt. Checking the time, it was almost 12 am. Recalling that he needed to get up at 8 am to get to a meeting, Sasuke debated if it was really worth driving a little over an hour to get to his own apartment.

This was not a normal decision nor were the circumstances. Naruto wasn't a stranger nor just a co-worker. He was in a relationship, but the difference with this one, was that it was special. Sasuke knew that Naruto would never have malicious intentions, the mere suspicion of it was a laughable joke (either because he was too limited to be so sly, or that he valued morals. Probably both).

Concluding that it was perfectly acceptable to spend the night, Sasuke relieved himself of the tightly worn clothes, only to be surprised by the sudden slid of hands around his stomach and the warm touch from his back.

"Naruto, let go." Sasuke said mildly, continuing to unbutton his dress shirt.

Nuzzling into his warm neck, Naruto mumbled with lips pressed on the marble skin "Don't leave."

Once his shirt was open, Sasuke once again, paused before he rested his hand over Naruto's. Closing his eyes to take a calming breath Sasuke turned his head to Naruto to softly place a kiss on his head. Naruto seemed to have calmed at the action and began to pull away with the intention of going back to bed without any more fuss. However, Sasuke's grip on Naruto's hand didn't loosen before the ash coloured man realized and promptly dropped Naruto's hand like it burned him.

Wordlessly, Naruto settled in bed half asleep, patting at the space beside him for Sasuke to join him under the covers. Standing there, Sasuke didn't think much of it as he pulled the blanket over him and Naruto.

Unsurprisingly, Naruto had fallen right back to sleep after a couple of minutes, whereas Sasuke was still awake, finding how strange it was for Naruto to appear so calm and relaxed, to see him with minimal intensity, it almost seemed like Naruto was dead if not for the solid breathing; this brought fear and curiosity to Sasuke's thoughts.

If Naruto had died during that winter night, was it possible for Sasuke's life to have been different? There wouldn't be anyone left to stop his hunt for revenge, but did he really want that anymore? The ties with Naruto was a weakness, that was obvious to Sasuke, but the idea of cutting their bond off brought a strong ache in his left arm and a burn in his chest.

After years of going after his brother without a lead or a clue, Itachi might have been dead for all he knew. So if Itachi was gone, what was left for Sasuke to do? Be with Naruto? That seemed too easy, Sasuke wasn't impressed by the idea of settling with something instead of making decisions for himself, but maybe that was what he wanted. Being so determined on his goals, Sasuke's skills for being warm and open were pitifully poor.

Although pain and hardship had molded him, Sasuke wasn't black hearted. Yes, he could be emotionless, icy, and sometimes cruel; but he did occasionally have better moments.

This anger had helped Sasuke survive this long, but now it was devouring him from the inside. His past had dragged him through hell to create a hollow shell of himself. Now that Naruto had returned,

Sasuke felt protective around him, developing an urge to spend time with the idiot because he enjoyed their conversations, he liked who he was when he was around Naruto. Right now, Sasuke was still young, he could change his goals to something brighter, but was it worth it?

Letting go Itachi meant letting go his family, but he let go of Naruto, he'd end up ripping out a part of his heart that was growing back from years of rotting, it'd be the same as letting Naruto slip past his fingers like the way his family did. As much as Sasuke was a capable man, to lose someone important again was terrifying to him.

The place Naruto had in his heart was much more prominent with the months they'd been together.

 _You mean so much to me._ Sasuke thought as his hand stroked the scarred cheek of Naruto, finding the warmth of Naruto's body calming and gentle for his brittle soul.

Sasuke understood if he tried separating from Naruto, he'd only come back since he seemed to act impulsively when it came to his gentle-hearted man who spoke with fierceness that even he couldn't resist, being with Naruto made Sasuke happy, and nothing was worth throwing it away since this is what he has now.

"I love you, Naruto." He confessed to the unknowing man who slept innocently without much awareness to Sasuke's contemplations. The mere utter of the words made his body tingle, especially his skin. But it was the truth, and it made Sasuke feel elevated to say it.

Even though Sasuke may have a difficult time the word 'love', he knew he would do his best to show Naruto his emotions than with words. But one day, Sasuke would find the strength to tell Naruto his past. That day would be the day when he was free of all his defensive walls that only Naruto had managed to pierce through.

But he could to it, for himself and for Naruto.

All he needed was to be kinder to himself and have faith.

Deep blue eyes blinked open, greeting Sasuke with his smiling gaze, and bright face "I love you too."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I got around the time to rewrite this, please leave a comment, I would appreciate helpful criticism to better my skills, thanks for reading this far, hopefully you'll stick around for more once I understand how this site works xOx I'm just glad I got around to rewriting this, Hope you have a nice day, and thank you for reading.


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